My wife had an affair 1 year ago while I was out of town for 4 months. We reconciled, and moved out of state. She had a family emergency, and went to help her family. Since she has been there she has talked on the phone with him numerous times, and admited to seeing him. She did not tell me any of this, until I confronted her about the phone bill. She swears nothing is going on, but why would she even need to talk to him. She says she didn't want to hurt me...then why talk to him at all? thought things were good with us, and we have even been trying to have our first child. Should I trust her? Should I leave her?
2006-10-19 14:05:57 · 26 answers · asked by eyetie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nope!
don't trust her
make her pay her phone bill and toss her!
2006-10-19 14:09:03 · answer #1 · answered by chefzilla65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know how much you will put up with before you leave the woman. You have painted a pretty clear picture of the situation and it looks like Wifey Dearest isn't putting your needs on the same level as yours. This woman knows she hurt you and broke the bonds of trust with the affair. She knew she was again breaking the bonds of trust by spending time talking to this guy when she went back for an emergency. If she felt it was fine she wouldn't have hid the fact from you. Forget the baby thing for now! Babies never fix a problem or a relationship. Why bring an innocent child into the relationship when it's out of control. If you think you want to keep this woman then the two of you better get some counseling FAST. Why are you even thinking about staying with a woman that can't be trusted and plays such deceitful games with you?
2006-10-19 14:14:51 · answer #2 · answered by sistervoodoo2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give her a choice. If she wants to be with you then she doesn't need to be communicating with the person she had an affair with - that is TOTALLY disrespectful... if she is really wanting to be with you she needs to concentrate on your relationship. If she won't do that for you, then i think there is something still going on..most definately.
DO NOT bring a child into that situation no matter what - heck how would you even know if it was yours or not right now sorry to say...
Children never make it "better" between two people. It just adds more stress.
2006-10-19 16:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Erica M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously buddy, I've been there and done that. I was married 20 years when the **** hit the fan. Once a woman strays, she will never be completely yours again. VERY SERIOUSLY, I would reccomend that you make YOUR move now, while she is out of town. Be completely brutal about defending yourself both financially and psychologically from harm. Serve the divorce pappers while she is out of town and move, take your furniture and **** and go. If you own your own home, .... still vacate the house and put it up for sale. ASAP Consult a lawyer NOW, even if you have to borrow the money.
2006-10-19 14:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by nickname 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt sound good my friend. it all sounds a little too fishy for me, i think i would really sit her down for the last time and see where your relationship stands and decide once and for all if she wants to continue with your marriage or if she would rather move out and see this other guy.
i really wouldn't try to have a child at this point even if you do work things out. i would put that on hold for a couple of years.
you really should consider leaving her before things get worse.
good luck
2006-10-19 14:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by locowherto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely leave her. There is no reason in the world that she should be calling the man that she cheated with. You're going to save yourself years of heartache if you just end it now. She has just proven to you that she cannot be trusted anymore. There is someone out there so much better for you.
2006-10-19 14:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by texas y'all! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She still wants him. I would consider divorce - you deserve better and most of all, to be treated with respect. She already cheated and broke the trust, broke the commitment. Why would you take her back? She did wrong and you are enabling her to do it again and again. Get out now before you get hurt more.
2006-10-19 14:13:11 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you leave ,but you probally WONT..coz u found out da first time and you still stick around i guess your waiting to actually walk in on him and her and then u might leave then...DO NOT TRUST HER coz once the trust is gone you will always worry if she is doing it behind your back ..you deserve better i know its hard to walk away but its up to u
2006-10-19 14:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she didn't tell you about it then she can't be trusted. Head straight to therapy, her heart is wandering. No, don't leave her. You can't prove anything, but you have some serious trust and communication issues. And DON'T HAVE KIDS!!!! Work this mess out first.
2006-10-19 14:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to tell you to leave her, but she does not sound trustworthy, do not have a child until the trust issue is resolved.In the end, you may need to leave her.There should be no reason for her to contact him, if she values your marriage.
2006-10-19 17:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't trust her, and I wouldn't recommend having a child. That will just result in a much messier divorce later.
2006-10-19 14:08:17 · answer #11 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋