My ex husband took my kids (8 and 5) every weekend after our divorce now he has a new girlfriend with a kid and he hasn't talked to my kids or myself in 3 months. Should I bug him to be a part of their lives or just leave it alone? He also owes a lot of money for child support and now has a warrant out for his arrest. I don't know what is the best thing for me to do for my kids. I know he loves them believe it or not he has been a good father in the past. My kids really miss him.
2006-10-19 13:58:22 · 16 answers · asked by jaimek1127 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm so sorry for your kids (and you). Divorce is so very hard, and as the single mom's we get left with all the hard things to do. You cannot and should not force them on your ex. The kids will somehow have to make their peace with him when they are older.
He will miss so much. I divorced when my daughter was 8. In the beginning he took time with her, it got less and less. He has not seen her now in a year, she is 15. Your children are fabulous and hhave done nothing to deserve being treated as less then wonderful. It will be a hard time for you, but just try not to talk badly about him in front of them, or where they can overhear. It will be hard enough on them knowing dad is not there for them. Just love them the best you can and remember to keep them first in YOUR life, always. YOu will never regret that, as he someday will. God Bless all three of you!
2006-10-19 14:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by dcrobinson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of men do this move on and forget they had children from before their new relationship. Try talking to him about it tell him the kids miss spending time with him if that doesn't work make sure u have his butt arrested as soon as you find out where the girlfriend lives at her house over the child support you can't force him to be a father but you can make his life hell if he doesn't what is it with men and as soon as they get a new fling they forget their kids
2006-10-19 21:01:23 · answer #2 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to this. I have been divorced for 4 years. My daughters were 10 and 12 at the time. I was married for 15 years and he met someone else and we divorced. He was also a great dad until the divorce. His girlfriend did not want him to have a relationship with our daughters and he listened to her. From experience I would say do not force anything. It will only cause arguments and the kids will feel worse. I did try to push my exhusband to see our kids and it made things worse. Once I just left it alone he finally could see that he was the only one that was going to suffer later and has just now after 4 years started calling and trying to see them. If your children ask you why their dad does not see them just tell them that you know that he loves them but you can not answer that. Just try to keep the peace for them. I know its hard when you want to get answers as to why someone could walk away from their own children for another woman but believe me you don't need the extra tension in your life. Go to child support court and get support inforced and that way you will not need to have contact with him. He does have a responsility to help you take care of them no matter what.
Good luck!
2006-10-19 21:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's wanting to play new dad so the girl friend will think he is a nice guy...not been with his kids in 3 months and owes money. Turn him in he needs to learn to be there for his kids face to face and money wise...this comes from a man who once payed support
2006-10-19 21:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by russellvero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bug him- For the sake of the children and for sanity! I was a single mom and you have no time to yourself and you need it. I went 3 years with no help from him and then after the new wore off he showed back up into my child's life. He has the right to the children so .... he needs to take responsibility! Watch how the attitude changes when you start to date. I promise it will.
2006-10-19 22:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty bad. Leave him be on the kids. He should want to be with them. Guilting him or nagging him will just put a resentful unhappy man with your kids. They don't need that. If he comes to his senses he will be back.
Go back to the court and get in line for the money. Garnish his wages, get his tax refunds. Don't let the back support get out of hand. He's heading down the wrong path and you don't need to pay for it. If he knows he can't get away with it maybe he'll straighten up.
2006-10-19 21:04:40 · answer #6 · answered by Steve M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is no right or wrong in these types of situations. What matters is your childrens welfare.Maybe give him a call to find out what's up.Say the kids miss you ,they would like to see and set up a date .When he picks them up ask him if he will continue to see them.I know it's got to be tough on all of you,especially the kids.
2006-10-19 21:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by pitbullmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bug him--the kids need him in their lives and he needs to pay his support. and then bug him some more---if he was a good Dad at one time , he needs to be reminded of that. he can't just move onto something new and put aside the past---good luck
2006-10-19 21:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Kismitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats a tuffie....I think Id try and get the courts to go after the child support and leave him alone....in my opinion hes not doing the right thing...and sadly for the kids they suffer...but if you force the issue and his new girlfriend is petty, it would be bad anyway
2006-10-19 21:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends...are you capable of getting along without him and his support money?
Do you have a legal aggrement by court saying he has to pay child support?
You may have no choice. Your kids come first. If you need the support you need it for them.
2006-10-19 21:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋