She also wrote a couple of "poems" that was very suggestive of that relationship...He is very wealthy, and I wonder if I should let her go. He is married also. We have a child. She says he is just "a friend". Emails I saw by accident, YES by ACCIDENT were very disconcerting, as in I would like to see you longer...etc...what should I do?
2006-10-19 13:53:48 · 24 answers · asked by iamdwill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she gets very angry when I want answers
2006-10-19 13:57:37 · update #1
it ended when I found out!! is that what happens if he was just a friend?
2006-10-19 13:59:21 · update #2
they had a flurry of contact..when I found it out it stopped..she tells me no big deal...
2006-10-19 14:01:19 · update #3
she was meeting this a hole while is was restoring and painting her new office..when I found out the situation she said they were just friends and that no more contact was normal....yeah right
2006-10-19 14:16:31 · update #4
How would your wife like it if it were reversed? Ask her that! Honestly, no man married or not want's a female usually for "just" a friend. How does this man's wife feel about the friendship? Might be a good ideal for all four of you to become "friends", why not? The more you bug your wife, the more she will probably go to him. There is an unlying problem here, the sooner the two of you seek therapy-the better. Giving your permission is NOT OK, let her take full responsibility for her actions-let her OWN it. She will then have to also pay the consequences for her actions. We reep, what we sow!
2006-10-19 14:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but, it seems like she has found another interest. I need you to take this very seriously because you have a child together. It's o.k for her to have a crush, forgive her for that. However, if she took it further than flirting you might need to have a serious talk about your marriage. Ask questions and listen to why she drifted off to this other man? Could it be all about the money? I don't know, maybe not. Married women usually don't chase money they chase love. Were you guys have a ruff time lately? Don't let her go yet, it can be fixed trust me.
2006-10-19 21:00:14 · answer #2 · answered by HonestOne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to have her cake and eat it too. Sounds like she wants the convenience and stability of a marriage and the "dangerous" excitement of an affair at the same time.As for what you should do sounds like you two need to sit down and cut out then BS and really talk about whats going on and what you both want to do about it. Especially after something like that its hard because it will never be the same the trust is gone. I know from experience. Good Luck
2006-10-19 20:59:01 · answer #3 · answered by princesspie27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be talking to your wife and not on Yahoo. Tell her your concerns about the "cofee friend". If you feel hurt when she sees him why would she continue? You also have to think if you are reading too much into the issue? Has something in the past made you think this way? Talk it out, a caring person wouldn't do something to hurt you or make you feel unwanted.
2006-10-19 20:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from a woman that used to 'have coffee' regularly with another man (i was single) but the term 'having coffee' usually involves sugar but not the kind you put in a cup with milk and java if you get my drift...if I were you...i'd lay down 'the law' and tell her you don't appreciate her doing such things.
2006-10-19 20:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by colleenjohn_vano 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound good. But you took vows and have a child that looks to both of you for rolemodels in her life. You need to tell her exactly how badly this is making you feel and how important it is to you that you work it out. Your marriage should come before ANYTHING!!!! I had a similar problem with my husband. Thankfully we went to therapy before anything went too far. Try therapy, if you're both looking to work at it, it'll work. Good luck!!
2006-10-19 21:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were mre I would approach the socalled friend and point blank ask him what his intentions are with your wife,if he says only friendship ask if his wife knows about the friendship,if he says no tell him she will after I tell her.. sounds bold but a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do to keep his family together.Also politely ask him not to be sending suggestive email to your wife,or you will forward it to his wife,that will put a monkey wrench in his brain.
2006-10-19 21:03:19 · answer #7 · answered by davec4real_02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not accept it...tell her it's a deal breaker. If you feel she will stop trust her. But you already know that she probably won't...that's why you're talking about leaving.Listen to your inner self...trust your instincts.
Or
You could go to the guy and tell him to stop hanging out with your wife or you'll tell his. If she gets really mad...she's WAY attached to him and you need to tell her to choose.
2006-10-19 21:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by BB'sMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to her about it and find out where she stands, as far as her commitment to your marriage goes. If she tells u she doesn't want to get divorced, then she will have to cut all ties with this other man for good. If she gives u vague answers and doesn't display any desire to terminate her extra curricular activities with this other man, then make up your mind.
2006-10-19 20:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your wife that if she doesn't drop contact with this man and seek marriage counseling with you then the marriage is over.
You don't need to be in a relationship with someone who is being overly friendly with other men. Give her one shot to fix your marriage and if she continues talking to this man and disrespects your wishes, move on.
2006-10-19 20:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋