He is now living with his mistress. He play mind games with me which I allow. He say he loves me but doesn't do anything to end his affair. His mistress Fran has even told him to baby me on our anniversary. Its our wedding anniversary coming up. After 26 years, I feel like something is wrong with me, I never cheated on him. He said he isn't feeling our anniversary and I shouldn't either. Crazy, I thought we could had celebrated our daughter's birthday. Our daughter was born on that day. She is grown and have 2 children of her own. I keep holding on to the past. I need help. I got the paperwork for the divorce, but didn't turn them in. Can't get pass that I don't believe in divorce. I thought we could live apart, but our anniversay got me bitter all over again. I think I can't be his friend when he treats me so badly. One writer told me to be his friend and wait. I don't think I can anymore. He is so mean with his words. I feel bad everytime I hear his voice. There is life after him.
2006-10-19 13:42:11 · 13 answers · asked by Chyna R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
that was a great story...
yes there is life after your head case.
seek help now
before you completely lose function
you got a few screws loose
2006-10-19 13:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Xae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, i am so sorry to hear what you are going through. i am a mistress and i know i would be the last you would want to hear from, but understand this. i have been with this man almost three years. we live together a year and a half now. i truly love him and sometimes i questions myself why am i with him knowing he's still married. he claims he has filed papers for a divorce and he said one day we will be married. the things that plays in the back of my mind though is the fact that if he did it to her would he do it to me. as for life after him. yes, it is and when you truly become sincere about letting him go you will find that peace of mind and that special someone who will cherish you. i understand that 26 years is a mighty long time to be with someone and as an outsider it's easy to say if I'm not in your shoes. what you need to do is start going out and meeting people. I'm not saying look for anyone but to just mingle. let the man come to you. as long as a man know he has you he will use those mind games to get what he wants. be strong. if you were faithful all those years. trust me he will miss what he had. good luck and stay strong.
2006-10-19 14:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by slimchuckie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, look at what you wrote and your answer is there. You know his mistress, and he is missing your anniversary. It is time to move on.
I was married for almost 20 years to a very controlling man, and when he missed our anniversary (he had dinner with someone that night and it wasnt me) that was the last straw. The next morning I gave him 30 minutes to get his stuff and get out, changed the locks and filed for divorce. It has been hard, but life is ultimately better without him. Hang in there--you can do it. Our thoughts are with you.
2006-10-19 15:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by little1missy1234 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to turn away from something you've known for so long. It takes a very stong person to do so. Know that there is so much more out there for you and while it'll hurt in the beginning it'll get better as time passes. Life will pick up and you won't want to live in the past. Turn the papers in, move and start fresh.
2006-10-19 13:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by Tara C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be mean. He's doing exactly what you allow. They are both playing and pittying you like you're a joke . Get some professional help so you can REALLY be done and move onto something meaningful. Don't waste another minute of your precious life being a doormat. You're going to look back on this and not recognize your needy self. SIGN THE DAMN PAPERS ALREADY...TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK AND BE UNPREDICTABLE! He's a control freak and he knows he controls you right now. Prove him wrong.
2006-10-19 13:56:35 · answer #5 · answered by BB'sMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you. Sign the divorce papers and get it started. You will feel better once it is over. Holding onto the past will only keep you from living in the present or going into the future. Trust me, it is his lose, and he will see that someday. By then you will be happy with someone else.
2006-10-19 14:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do something for yourself and stop trying to do for him. He has control ,all the power and you're enabeling this to happen. You are a beautiful person and you need to see this and believe it. You derserve better.I know it's easier said then done ,especially if one is not in your shoes.Please turn in those papers and help your self. If you don't you'll continue to allow the mental abuse to happen. A good place to go to make friends is church. Nice people go there so you wont feel alone and you can meet people ,make friends , and talk.Good luck in what ever you decide to do.
2006-10-19 14:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by pitbullmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of him and move on,he will never change and his mistress will be the next victim of his cheating ways and his harsh words. Once a cheater always a cheater. If he talks bad to you think what he will say to his mistress after a while.
2006-10-19 13:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by davec4real_02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
babe i think u should try and move on from him cuz it sounds like he's trying to get on ya side and want u and have his Mistress he's one of those men that have there cake and eat it if u know what i mean
i think u should move on from him and him saying that he still loves u is a lie he's the one that has moved on and gone wiv someone else and i think u should do the same thing hunny
2006-10-19 13:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by Katie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 22yrs. were not messing around, just
working a-lot.. don't see each other at all, maybe an hour
a day, then cant talk because his brother is always there......
it's gotten worse, and am about tired of it, so i gave him a
choice...... me or his brother....will find out in a couple of
days the verdict...... but you have to stand up to them.....
don't let him treat you like that anymore.... your better than
that.... and can do better......
2006-10-19 15:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to get away from an abusive person. I've been through it. But you can do it. Sometimes it just takes a little prayer or a nice person to help you.
2006-10-19 13:51:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋