Ladies are the most loving at the onset. When they are madly in love with you, they do anything for you. They will walk away from their families, friends, jobs, education for their man. Men at times take that for granted! The shocking reality for a man occurs when the ladies 'shut down'. After long periods of trying to make the marriage work, its as if you suddenly 'shut down'. Nothing matters, you could go without sex for months, not engage in discussions other than answer questions & talk about bills, avoid any confrontations and just slip away into this 'mysterious world'.
QN: Whats happening inside there? what doesn't ur man imagine u are comtemplating? are u cheating or planning to leave? Does your hubby stand a chance?
2006-10-19 13:12:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Shutting down like you described is from years of unhappiness, lack of communication and she probably is just giving up on making it any better.
2006-10-19 13:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well.. atleast you can recognize when your girl has shut down... that's a good start. I can't speak for everyone who is in shut down but here's where I'm at (I've been in shut down for a couple weeks now, and it sucks). I truly believe its a depression. It is a way to avoid confrontation, get in fights, etc. I am not contemplating cheating or leaving. I am waiting to be appreciated. I cook, clean, take care of the kids, him, the house, work a full time job, run errands, etc, etc. But, when I'm tired or not feeling well I am just complaining or being bitchy. Do you see why its easier to just shut down and not say anything at all? If I ask for alone time or a night out I am whining or money is tight or he's tired. Again, see why it's easier just to exist day to day and not ask for anything. Its a depression and comes and goes in phases. Yes, we're in love and he does stand a chance. Guys, stand back and take a look at all that we do. Don't take us for granted. show us that you appreciate all that we do.
2006-10-20 10:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by gotcookies? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is perfect for me right now because im at the point of shut down yes i am comtemplating leaving him yes im trying to find someone else who loves me the way i need to be loved but yes he still has a chance he needs to love me for me he needs to respect my feelings simple things are what matters to me how was your day let me rub your feet i dont get any of that he picks at all the little things when there is so much more to worry about i cant stand that when im in my mysterious worls i think of all the hurt he has caused but at thesame time im thinking why is he not saying anything why is he not trying to make this better try little things be interested in her hope it works out
2006-10-19 20:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by lisaisfunn1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you can't assume anything, simply because it CAN be ANYTHING. My suggestion would be to talk to her because she is the only one that can tell you what's going on in her mind. Let her know that you love her and that you're worried something is wrong. You obviously love her so much and want it to work, I hope you keep trying and don't give up hope. Communication is key, ALWAYS. Best of luck.
2006-10-19 20:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess we feel like we do and do and it's never appreciated!If your wife is acting distant she is probably planning on leaving you-just waiting on the right time-maybe she is saving money to get out-You need to let her know you do love her and you do appreciate her before it's too late!
2006-10-19 20:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tired of giving everything and not getting the love or respect back.
2006-10-19 20:32:41 · answer #6 · answered by cejay1953 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
what's happening....well, we get tired of the poor me syndrome...your bored so we should entertain you. when we have a slew of responsibilities of our own. but we should just be a robot for your loins. yeah well, whatever. get a friggen hobby..............how's that grab ya'....reality check buddy.....
2006-10-19 20:24:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
we are distancing ourselves from you because we want the pain to stop. how do you think it feels to be the only one who tries? it gets old and it hurts.
2006-10-19 20:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋