Are we being overprotective of our children these days? Just a tad? Isn't it sad?

Question

I was walking through the parking lot of my apartment complex the other day, when a 2- or 3-year-old girl said, "Hi!" to me. Her mother immediately said, "Don't say hi to people you don't know!" Isn't this a little extreme?

Answer 1

Yes it is sad, but is a result of the kind of world we live in. The media create an atmosphere of fear & paranoia. We're constantly hearing about children being kidnapped & abused. We see their faces on posters & milk cartons. It makes parents afraid to trust anyone or to let their kids out of their sight. People want to protect their kids & teach them to be cautious, wary of strangers. At the same time though, it's a shame they can't let them be polite & friendly to strangers when there is no threat (especially when the parent is right there! That does seem a tad extreme!) It used to be you could say hello to one another on the street. Now we're suspicious of each other...

I don't have kids so I really can't say what I would do. I'm afraid I'd be an overprotective mom like my mother was. Bit of a control freak! It is a scary world out there. Kids being abducted all the time! I remember once I was walking with my brothers home from school & a car pulled up & offered us a lift. My brothers started to get in. I said no & tried to grab them. Then I thought I better go with them to protect them in case something happened. I was terrified until I found out it was the mother of one of their friends! For a while there I thought we were all going to be killed! My mother did a great job of making me paranoid! But my brothers tended to be a little fearless anyway.

But I'm fairly sure, even if I had a child that I would not react the way that that mother did. If anything I might whisper "It's nice to be friendly sweetie, but just remember not to approach strangers especially when I'm not there."

Answer 2

It's called Cotton Wooling and I believe it is the root cause of the crime wave in young adolesents in to-days world. Some people are so overprotective of their offspring that the child becomes totally useless to society.

I have two Grandchildren like that and one that is not.

A 13 year old girl & an 8 year old boy. Neither of them can or will do anything around the house because they have been stopped from doing so by the mother all their lives. They have never been allowed to play with the neighbourhood children because the parents might be pedophiles. They can't do the washing up because they may cut themselves on a dinner knife or break a plate. etc, etc. If they ask questions they are told that they wouldn't be able to understand. You get the idea. Now the children just demand anything & everything. They are spoilt rotten & have no regard for anybody else or property.

Now the mother is at her wits end to understand what went wrong. If it is suggested that she may have Cotton Wooled the children, all hell breaks loose as it was her right to protect her children.

My other Grandchild, 7, doesn't have free reign but she has been encouraged to help around the house and even helps her father with home maintaince (passing tools etc). She helps her mother cooking, washing up, folding clothes etc, and all her questions are answered within her appropriate age limits.

The difference in the two families childrens behaviour & social skills is astounding.

All children should be able to smile and say hello to a stranger when the parents are around and just be polite & coutious when they're not. That's good parenting skills. But to be made afraid of everybody & everything is creating mental ilness later on in life.

Answer 3

Well no, I don't think that particular situation is extreme......cause I am sure you are a nice person, but if her mother is telling her not to talk to strangers....then that means nice looking ones AND mean looking ones. A lot of people who kidnap kids or do other horrible things to children can look very nice. So for her mother not to reinforce that rule, just because you were nice looking, tells that little girl its ok to talk to nice looking strangers. Yes, it can be rude, and make everyone feel uncomfortable.....but with these kidnappings and the rise of internet child pornography parents are probably doing what they think will keep their child safe.
But YES....in other ways we are overprotecting our children.....I saw on the news the other day about a school up North that banned playing TAG!!! TAG?! I mean come on people kids will be kids.

Answer 4

I really don't think so. The mother was trying teach her child that she shouldn't talk to strangers, no matter what. What if the mother wasn't close by and you were some sicko that wanted to take advantage of a little kid? I live right next door to a sex offender (his offense was with someone under the age of 13) and these sick bastards are all over. To teach her child to be cautious before she knows how to reason is a good thing to do with so many sickos out there.

Answer 5

That's a yes and no thing. The one time their not being protective could be the last. But we also need to learn ourselves how to exist in society.

I've noticed in society that the worst of people act the nicest so you can't go by that alone.