Okay, so me and two of my friends were walking around and one of them is like a Nazi-obsessor, and was talking about the Holocaust and how they killed Jews, and said not only the Jews were killed, homosexuals, gypsies, and handi-capped people (well, duh, I knew that, I just wrote a big long paper about Hitler and his reign) and I told her that my cousin was handi-capped and just died recently (March 10, 2006---- yeah, not RECENTLY, but this year) And I'm just now kinda getting over it. And she and my other friend started laughing... That just ran all over me, and that just made them laugh more... I felt like just walking away from them, but I didn't want to look like a baby's a** or anything, so I changed the subject and went on...
I want to be friends with them, but I don't want them laughing at me or my own FAMILY (btw: she was my first cousin, could't walk, talk, or anything but smile and move her arms around)
Anyway, should I continue being friends with them???
2006-10-19 12:20:54 · 23 answers · asked by mi_kemikal_romance_rox 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should defeniatly be hurt. Sorry, but those girls are not your friends. They are they friends that will gossip, and do things behind your back.
If you still want to be friends with them, just say your opinion when there around alone and having a 3- way honest circle when you say your true thoughts. Anyways I'm sorry that your cousin died.
I truly wouldn't be their friends anymore right when they said that. And remember:
-friends might not always be there when your older, but family always will
-and family ALWAYS come first
I hope I helped and I feel your emotions. Good luck with the problem =)
2006-10-19 12:45:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable to feel hurt.
They probably laughed because you went on a little bit of a tangent. They were talking about Hitler and you brought up a completely different topic based on one word.
It was insensitive to laugh, but it sounds like these are new friends that did not see how much pain that had caused you at the time.
They may not know how death of a loved one feels at all...they have probably never experienced that. A lot of people don't know how to react to things they have never experienced, so they act badly.
If they are fun, then hang out with them for fun things and confide in closer friends or family with your pain. They will be more understanding of the situation and how you feel. If you have had other negative interactions with them, make note and leave them as friends if it continues.
2006-10-19 19:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not continue being friends with these people. Aside from the fact they are Nazi worshipers they- obviously have no compassion, tact or common sense. If you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas.- It would be a shame for you to start becoming one of them and forget the kindness you do possess. These "friends" of yours are not a good influence and have no respect for you if they would treat you that way. The holocaust was a terrible, horrible time in history that should never be applauded for any reason. Make some new friends with people who will respect you and who have more constructive things to do than support the destruction of entire races and cultures of people. I am sorry for the loss of your cousin and I am glad that you still have enough of a heart to realize that your friends behavior is wrong. Good Luck to you.
2006-10-19 19:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My condolences to you for the loss of your cousin.
I agree with those who've said those two acquaintances of yours aren't really friends and that they would gossip about you behind your back. You were smart for not wanting to show how deeply it hurt you, because those two are just the people who would be glad to see you hurt and use it to hurt you further.
I think you should choose new friends, but I don't think you should be so abrupt about it that those two would know there was a problem. If I were you I'd play it cool, like I'm being outgoing with other people because that's just what I do. Eventually, you won't have to deal with them at all and they'll never know the real truth. With those kinds of people, the less they know about your real feelings, the better.
2006-10-21 13:34:19 · answer #4 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your so-called friends are stupid and immature. You have seen that they are unable to be supportive and caring in the instance that you shared with us.
I would give then a second chance strictly because death is a hard subject to deal with and sometimes people react strangely when they feel that they should be consoling a greiving person but don't know how.
If , however, there is another instance where they show callous disregard for your feelings,kick them to the curb and don't look back.
2006-10-19 19:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely be hurt. I mean that is SO rude to laugh at someone dieing. I can't believe they did that. If I were you I would talk to them about it and if they still give you trouble then you don't need to be friends with people like that. On the flip-side maybe they didn't know that they hurt you. You need to let them know how you feel. But all in all, it was extremely awful to laugh at someones death.
2006-10-19 19:25:05 · answer #6 · answered by JoHanna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I'd want to be friends with someone who disrespected me or my family in any way... that includes laughing at something. It's rude and inconsiderate to your feelings. If your cousin had been someone without any handicap who had died, I don't think they'd be laughing.
I'm really sorry for your loss... things like that are so hard. Email me anytime if you need.
2006-10-19 19:24:18 · answer #7 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats not something real friends would do. It is really mean. Laughing at a death in the family is just awful. Tell them that you didn't appreciate when they did that, and it hurt you. If they don't apologize and they dont understand, they arent real friends.
2006-10-19 19:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by lysette.oxo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no, if they laugh at you and your family than that means that they don't take you seriously. you should never let anybody laugh at you or worse your family. i bet they wouldn't like you laughing at them or their family. I'm Sorry but your so call friends must be hypocrites and probably talk behind your back. i would look for real friends immediately.
2006-10-19 19:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by hellodivasexy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dear it is not for any of us to say who you should be friends with but i would like to see you keeping sensitive loving compassionate people with you. there is such a thing as reaction formation it is a true psychological mechanism where certian people laugh when they are hurt sad threatened embarrassed and even grieving ...............but both of them at the same time with no sincere apology for the complete lack of common common kindness. it was apparent you needed to talk about it and it makes me sad that they were both insensitive ... here is the most important lesson i ever learned ........... what you tolerate is what you teach .............. and by not walking away you may have shown them what they did was OK or even you simply saying i find your reaction appalling and i hope when you are in a situation like mine i hope you don't have to deal with such blatant insensitivity!!!protect your self in a situation when you are being mistreated and remove your self from it at once .. i hope you find lots of better people to be close to. any one with feelings would have been at least appalled my dear.
2006-10-19 19:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by dancfan 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋