Why are people afraid of apologizing?

Question

We were taught as kids to accept our mistakes and ask sorry for the same from whoever concerned. Then we grew up and all of a sudden EGO came into play. People take it personally if someone points out something wrong; forget about apologizing for the same.

Why? Is it really that difficult? Won't you become a better person if you apologized for your mistakes?

Any views on this?

Answer 1

Its almost all written upthere. Apology rarely works. Once the damage s been done,apologies are rarely meant, and are rarely truely accepted. But the point is another. half people think of apology as if it was a weakness, some think it's a strenght.I reckon they miss the point. Once you have failed at something,
(lol successful people never fail? what a bs was that?) you have to re-define your own position among things and others, Apologizing works that way. Recognizing that you were wrong gives you the exact perspective of yourself ,and showing regret for an unwanted mistake its like standing again upright after a
temporary umbalance. They think instead that you are but what what people perceive you are, and they try to defend their position
growing resent in the progress.
So I would say that people tend not to apologize ,or to apologize too often for they see in it a threat to their social status, or a part of it. And if they do it , they sound fake, and are not believed,and will never learn. And will start it over next time. Or will never apologize again.

Answer 2

You'd be a better person if you apologized and MEANT it and decided to do better in the future. That would be good, definitely. But if you just apologize because you think it's what someone wants to hear...no way. I HATE it when people apologize and don't mean it! It's that whole, I don't know why I'm apologizing but it seems like you want me to and I just want to quit arguing because I'm a big lazy BABY about it! Grrrrr!

The Christian idea of repentance is that somebody does something wrong, apologizes sincerely, and is forgiven sincerely, and the person who did wrong tries very hard to change and do the right thing in the future. But if you forgive someone who apologized insincerely (or didn't apologize at all)--no way. It's just a waste of time.

I think most people who don't apologize do so because they're profoundly lazy and rude and just don't care about doing the right thing. They often don't even understand why they're wrong. They might say, well, YOU'RE being too sensitive. YOU expect too much from me!

Lazy b!tches! Hate 'em! Don't wanna deal with them! So I avoid non-apologizers as much as possible because they're inconsiderate and don't care if they hurt me. I think somebody who never apologizes is basically saying, hey, I'm an a$shole and you should find somebody better to hang around with! Or at least that's the message that I get from the behavior.

Sincere apologies are a soothing salve in a nasty world. I appreciate them and I apply them liberally when I've done something to injure someone. It sucks that everybody doesn't see it that way. It would really make the world a nicer place if people sincerely apologized when they did the wrong thing.

Answer 3

In America, we can thank John Wayne for his famous quote, "A man never apologizes."
The Duke didn't REALLY feel that way, he was portraying a character. Still, Americans took the idea to heart, where it's been stuck ever since.
People are also afraid that if you apologize, you will appear weak, and be taken advantage-of from then on. Too bad for most people that really the opposite is true. It takes a strong, secure person to apologize.

Answer 4

You are correct, 100% but in all reality whats the point to apologize if you don't mean it, and or you keep making the same mistake. The whole apology thing kinda looses it's meaning don't you think?!

Answer 5

Courtesy apologizing is done all the time. But if you really screw up, you are told not to. In business, it could mean your job. You are not allowed to make mistakes because successful people don't make mistakes. The truth is, more then likely, they've never been caught. In Today's society, fear keeps people from apologizing.

Answer 6

It's good to apologize if you know you made a mistake. I lost a good friend, over words I had said, I did apologize the following day but she wouldn't accept it. You can't make people accept one.

Answer 7

It's too bad that people are so egotistical.

I'm not afraid to apologize, but I feel very confident that even though I make mistakes, that the good I possess far outweighs the bad. So it's OK.

Answer 8

One word --> Weak.
Noone wants to appear/ show their weaknesses in front of others and yeah ego plays a major role in it too.
Frankly, I only admit my mistake AND apologise for it after much reasoning on the problem at hand.
If I was responsible for it, I'll own up to it.
But if not, I'd defend myself.

Answer 9

'Sorry seems to be the hardest word' as it goes in a song. But it's such a magical word when said at the appropriate moment. We all seem to have lost it through fear of losing face, pride and ego. We don't want to say it, we don't want to lose. Sad, but true. If only we all realise that there are victories of the mind and spirit; sometimes when we 'lose' we actually win!

Answer 10

Because, as the philosophers Elton John and Bernie Taupin pointed out, Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

Forget Heidegger or Descartes.