My girlfriend wants to have "quality talks" about "us" at least 3 times a week. Is she overdoing it?

Answer 1

Girls are emotional people and guys are physical. A girls idea of porn is a sappy love story where the guy is deeply committed to the woman. So oftentimes, we don't realize it when we overdo it, because for us, having 'quality talks', dealing with feelings etc. is normal. We clearly don't realize that this can make guys distance themselves. Don't be scared. Your girlfriend doesn't sound like she has any 'problems', she is probably seeking reassurance that you'll always be there for her. So this is where you need to get real with yourself. What do you and your gf's future look like? And if you're serious about dating her, than reassure her! And also tell her that you guys don't need to talk it over so often. Sit down with her once and be there for her - set out what you think "us" looks like. If you're real with her, than she'll be satisfied - for now. If something changes, then let her know before she feels the need to ask all the time. If this still doesn't solve the problem, then perhaps she has a high level of insecurity which you probably aren't equipped to deal with. Hope this helps

Answer 2

Well it is good to talk about your relationship but I think 3 times a week is to much. She probably just wants to make sure, everything is going right, which means she really likes you and doesnt want to lose you. You can talk to her and tell her "I love talking to you about us, but 3 times a week is a little bit to much. How about once a week? or whenever the subject is brought up?" That would be a good way to put it. Dont say that in such a harsh way because she might get mad. But I do think shes overdoing it a little, and this problem can be easily fixed if you take my advice. Good luck!

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Answer 3

She is just trying to feel you out. There is something new or different (at least one thing, but likely many things) that she wants in the relationship and she is looking for the right opportunity to request it. The request for frequent "talks" illustrates that she wants you to understand her more and that she sees a disconnect which needs to be corrected quickly. She senses a resistance to the kind of communication that she needs, and is now ready to require frequent opportunities for it to happen, even if that jeopardizes the relationship. She's running out of patience with the relationship and wants to come to a decision for herself in the very near future. Three times per week allows her the power to accept failure and end the "talk" with the knowledge that she can try again in a couple of days.

The good news is that once she feels that you two are on the same page, and that you are ready to communicate in her language without the "3 times per week" requirement, she will gradually relax on her quota because she won't feel the need for it.

Personally, if I were either her or you, and that kind of request arose, I would simply ask for ONE quality talk within the NEXT week, and then I'd come to my own assessment AFTER I had been alone for a few hours to regain my own composure and objectivity. I'd simply listen and take notes in order to avoid leading the conversation to what I want to hear in stead of to my partner's real feelings. If I didn't clearly see a complete solution to whatever is driving the need for "3 talks a week," I'd find my peace with myself, call the whole thing a bad fit, and let go.

Answer 4

Not really overdoing anything but she may not be 100% happy if she wants to have quality talks that often. OR, she may just want to get closer to you. Usually, my boyfriend and I have quality talks when we're about to go to bed, and "sit down" talks when something is bothering me or him. If you care enough about her, you'll be there to listen and give input. Talking shouldn't bother you unless you're just not interested in doing it and if that's the case, maybe you shouldn't be her boyfriend.

Answer 5

I thought you meant 3 days a week, but 3 times a week, there are 168 hours in a week and all she want is to talk 3 times that's not bad. Do it so your relationship will be on good terms.

Answer 6

yah she is. i've been married for 10 years and dont have quality talks 3 times a week with my HUSBAND. i think once in awhile is fine or when theres an issue or problem, but 3 times a week for no reason other than just to talk is too much.

Answer 7

YES ! SHE DEFINITELY IS , BUT SHE MAY NEED THE REASSURANCE , SO DONT BE UPSET BY IT , JUST TRY TO DEAL WITH IT , AND BE THERE FOR HER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE , AND BE GLAD ITS NOT AN EVERYDAY THING , CAUSE THERE ARE THOSE OUT THERE TOO , IF NEED BE , YOU MIGHT BOTH GO TO A COUNSELOR , AND FIND OUT THE REASON SHE FEELS THE NEED FOR SO MUCH REASSURANCE , AND CONFIRMATION OR WHATEVER IT IS SHE'S USING THESE TALKS FOR ...SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING IS OUT OF WHACK WITH THE TWO OF YOU OR MAYBE SHE WANTS TO BE SURE IT ISNT , BUT THAT DOES SEEM A BIT MUCH....GOOD LUCK , AND TAKE CARE........GR1M

Answer 8

Yes, she is defintally a silly b*tch. I don't see how putting quotas in a relationship is really effective. It would effectively piss me off if I had to stop what I was doing so I could have my last quality talk of the week.

Answer 9

Have you guys been having problems lately? Maybe, if you have, she is just looking for reassurance that you guys are doing ok, and that you still care. Thats normal, i get that way too sometimes. If not, Im not so sure what to tell you, maybe she has had some bad relationships/is afraid of losing you.

Answer 10

Are you sending her mixed signals alot? Usually when I feel insecure about something he may have said or done, I wonder about us, then I like to talk to my guy to make sure we are ok, but not 3 times a week. He'd be really annoyed with me if I was that insecure about us.