By definition, the current usage of abortion is a contraceptive procedure. Fathers have no rights over their unborn children. But if the woman decides to keep the child, the father is liable for child support. Upon divorce, women BY FAR get custody of the children, regardless of the wishes of the father or kids involved. Also, in many states/provinces, after living with a single mother for a period of time, the man becomes liable for child support to another mans children! Should the use of abortiion as contraception be a deal breaker to child support? Is it just me or, does it seem neither men nor children have any rights, neither before or after birth.
Comments, suggestions and opinions are invited.
My mother divorced my father got all his money, wrote out her sons from her will ang gave it all to my sister. While, my wife divorced me took all my money and my kids. The women of both my parental and immediate families have left all the men pennyless!
confused by familial injusti
2006-10-19 11:58:35 · 12 answers · asked by nickname 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Woman will never know what a man goes thru .They cant .The closest thing women will know is if they have a son who goes thru this . When a mothers son there flesh and blood gets caught between an exwife and the family law system .
Just remember 50% of your children will be male and they will go thru the court system and it will tear them apart .most men who go thru this are walking wounded . So while you are asking and demanding more money from a father who has little money to pay for child support your sons are gonna be in that position two decades from now .I guarantee it.
2006-10-19 13:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by bolounit1 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋
Your logic is faulty. "Should the use of abortion be a deal breaker to child support?" Meaning that since women have the choice to abort, men should not be liable for child support (her decision to have it, her sole responsibility)? Obviously you mean in cases where the child was UNWANTED by the father, but the mother kept it anyway? Well, really, if the "father" of the unwanted child did not want children, he should have worn a condom. This is very simple really. And don't say "she lied about birth control to trap me." Women who don't want to get pregnant take matters into their own hands, men should do the same. If your are negligible, you are responsible, period. That makes sense legally AND morally. I understand your angst over your familial woes, but statistically, most men don't even go after custody of the children (either b/c they fear they won't win, or they don't know if they could handle it alone). I'm curious, did you go after custody of your children? You say your wife "took them," but did you sue for custody? Joint or full? (I'm truly curious for statistic reasons, nothing personal.) And I was under the impression that children, if old enough, were asked whom they would like to live with. I believe that most men don't "go after" their rights, they let the women get custody, by and large, by not contesting it. And no, men don't have the right to have unprotected sex, impregnate a woman, and say "Well I didn't want it...so...good luck with that" Women have the choice of abortion, men have the choice of condoms. Invest in some if you don't want any more children.
2006-10-19 18:21:41 · answer #2 · answered by wendy g 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I have to agree wholeheartedly with Wendy G, she's brilliant! Bravo, bravo!! Thank you for such a well-thoughtout, insightful composition on his faulty logic, Wendy. Excellent!! All I can say is, there's absolutely nothing that needs to be added to it. I just wish I had said it, hah! :-( So, Nickname, ya oughta give her the vote!
You see Nickname, the woman's body is still hers. When you "got your rocks off" on that body, if the body becomes impregnated, and the woman knew for absolute certainty that she's not ready for those responsibilities, she does what she has to. If she's against that, and chooses to carry it through, the outcome becomes "BOTH" your responsibilities. You participated happily and willingly. If you didn't want either to happen, what would you do. :-) Abstinence, or condom.
Incidently, if your family has a history of making these mistakes, what would you do about it? No, don't hate women. Women are innocent bystanders. What would you do?
You see, Nickname, "A man may fail many times but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.." ~Anon
As long as you keep "blaming women" for your own misfortunes, and never ever take full responsibility for them, you will never ever trully understand.
2006-10-20 06:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You make several good points.
I think that ideally, having a baby should be like having sex, in that it should require two "yes" votes. Just as it is not right for a man to force sex if the woman says no, it is not right for a woman to have a baby if the father says no. The practical matter though, is that society cant keep a woman from giving birth once she is pregnant, so there should be a period before the birth when the man has to declare his desires regarding the potential baby. If he makes a legal declaration that he does not want to be a father, she can still have the baby, but he would be under no obligation. Its all "her baby". (pardon the pun).
People who say you shouldnt have sex if you dont want a baby are absurd. Sex is healthy; a lifetime of abstinance is unhealthy and is an unreasonable expectation.
Until society advances on this issue, the best thing a guy can do is what i did: get a vasectomy. Its the single best decision I ever made. Heck, insurance even paid for all of it but $10! Best 10 bucks I ever spent! :-)
2006-10-19 12:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by Phil S 5 · 4⤊ 3⤋
It sounds like your ideas on what is fair have been shaped by your life experience. You are certainly in a minority when it comes to your beliefs. you need to read some of the current literature with regards to child support and how many men actually do not pay. Also find out why the percentage of poverty is much higher among single parent families that women have. Your bias is sad and certainly is from lack of education. Hopefully you will be open enough to finding out the truth and understanding that your views are completely wrong.
2006-10-19 14:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
On abortion: Your statement, "Fathers have no rights over their unborn children" rests on the assumption that the mass of cells inside a woman's body is, indeed, a child before it is born. If it's not, then it's just a part of the woman's body, and she should certainly have control over it. Regardless, reproductive rights are essential for women, because women, especially as wives and mothers, are too often treated as the means for a man to produce offspring, and are thus reduced to objects for men to control. Granting reproductive rights to women is an essential corrective measure.
On divorce and child custody: This is truly a case where women are unduly favored. Even the lousiest mother in the world stands a damn good chance of getting custody just because she's the mother.
On men's rights: Men still have grossly more power in the world than women. It sounds like you have a history of being screwed over by the women in your life, and I feel for you. But don't let your personal tragedies blind you from the big picture: women are largely disempowered, even if, in some cases (like custody battles) they may exercise an unfair amount of sway in domestic matters . . . after all, traditionally, the domestic sphere is the only place a woman has any power at all.
2006-10-19 14:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
You were hurt by women in your life; not womankind. For the abortion arguement, no matter what, you cannot force a person to have a baby. The courts have their own way of picking out the responsible parent, or dual custody. Biologically and culturally, yet not always, the child will bond more with his mother. And so on and so forth. It's life, ok? If one made a child and it lives with the mother, then one pays child support. Legally, women and men have the same rights. Culturally it's far from equal. Pay your child support.
2006-10-19 13:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by hvjhv 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
It's sad that because the pregnancy happens outside a man's body, he has no say, even though he contributed in a big way to the pregnancy even occurring. hello biology 101!
My belief is, if people do not want to get pregnant, they shouldn't have sex. "if you don't want cookies, don't mix the batter."
Within a marriage, abstinence is obviously not going to be a choice for birth control. But most people who are married tend to keep the children they have, whether or not the pregnancy was planned.
It's sad that you are surrounded by so many selfish women. We are not all catty and vindictive. I hope you can move on from these unfortunate circumstances and be a positive role model for your children. Perhaps if you have a daughter, you can break her of this vicious family pattern and teach her how to have healthy relationships.
2006-10-19 12:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 4⤋
Man you are right on target. The whole family court system is terribly biased against men. In some places the court will require a child advocate to watch out for the child but they are nnot common and are not always effective.
2006-10-19 13:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by barrettins 3 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Men CAN take charge of thier lives. Is it too much to ask for them to be in charge of contraceptives. When you "know" what you have just discribed, then make damn sure that you do not become a victim of it. Although, I disagree with most of your theory. Child support is a must. It's either that, or the citizens pick up the tab...no fair!
2006-10-19 12:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by muffin 6 · 7⤊ 4⤋