can someone please give me an opinion on this letter i am writing to an uncle who abused me?

Question

You would think that after 13 years I would be past what you did to me. You would think that I might even be well adjusted to life in general, but 13 yrs after I fianally told someone what you were doing to me I am still full of questions. I have spent my adolescence trying to ingonre the sick feeling I get when a man touches me, while at the same time trying to get the approval of every man I meet. I don’t understand how a grown man could have lustful thoughts or feelings about a child…an innocent little girl! I had a therapist I was seeing immedeatly after I told. I saw her twice. During the second session she told me that what you did was my fault so I have put a lot of thought into that. The conclusion I came up with was that it takes a truly sick person to be aroused by a child.
I don’t know why I didn’t tell anyone everything you did. I think part of me was still a little girl who didn want to see her uncle glenny get into trouble. The other part of me was embarrassed to tell

tell anyone It makes me angry as hell that I didn’t tell and lately I have been thinking about the fact that there is no statue of limitations on sexual abuse. Technically I could go tell right now the rest of what I didn’t tell (because don’t you think for even a second that I have forgotten one second of any of it), but I realize that wouldn’t make me feel better. Besides if I did my kids would find out about you and it is my lifes goal to make sure they don’t know that you exist. I try to pretend you don’t but that doesn’t work.
In my opinion you got off lucky. Until now your family didn’t know what happened at all! I told uncle john. If I though Rhonda cared I would tell her and as for Grandma Jackie, I think I will spare her feelings and not tell her.

I do think that it is completely ****** UP that no one knew. I guess my parents non interest in worked out pretty well for you didn’t it…you got your own private sex toy for a few years and you didn’t even get a substantial *** whopping out of it. I guarantee you that if anyone ever so much as thinks about my daughter innapropriatly I will personally castrate him with a nail file then shove his balls down his throat am tape his mouth shut so he chokes to death on them…I think that is a appropriate punishment.

Answer 1

I was abused as a child. Now I'm 46. For years I let it torment me. I wanted to make sure it didn't happen to my little brother. My pastor told me I had to forgive him and get on with my life. I wrote him a letter and did just that and warned him to stay away from my little brother. We actually have a good friendship now. You have to take control of your life and your thoughts and move on. If you go through life being bitter then, you lose. You may end up hooked on pills and in a mental hospital. You are the only one who can focus on something else and take yourself to a higher level. Sadly there are MANY people just like your uncle, which you may or may not change. You are the only one who can change your mind to live a life of love or bitterness. I'd rewrite your letter.

Answer 2

You obviously have a lot of anger here...but not a lot of planning. In that part where you would choke him to death on his genitalia...may I suggest an acid drip, or a good going over with a propane torch...not too fast...the hands and feet are especially sensitive to pain because of the number of nerve endings there. Choking would seem a bit hurried under the circumstances...think it over, I'm sure you will agree.

My ex wasabused as a child, and it pretty much destroyed her life, and her ability to have relationships...she never confronted her abuser, and there was too much left unsaid when he died...this made it worse for her.

Also, you are not responsible for the abuse...do not feel obligated to keep it a secret, ...especially from family members, that could only help him. What if you are not alone in the family? You can never know if he has hurt others unless you come forward. Do you think he stopped with you? Is he still a danger to other children? Think about speaking out...and about the propane torch.

Answer 3

As a number of men and women have mentioned above, your letter states that your therapist mentioned that the sexual abuse used to be your fault, and I do not consider that is what you intended to put in writing, so that you must right that. I consider a few others that you just must file the abuse to the professionals. These days, with intercourse perpetrator registries and such, reporting him could make it so much much less most likely he could ever be capable to break out with abusing yet another baby. I consider you must take out the castration with a nail dossier aspect. It comes throughout as foolish -- juvenile. Ending that method could be much more likely to make him giggle at you than whatever else. Men don't seem to be frightened of bodily threats from females -- we consider they are humorous. I do not consider him giggling at you is the outcome you are searching for. Overall, I proposal the complete factor used to be relatively unhappy. I desire you discover the peace of brain for which you're shopping.

Answer 4

You are a strong lady with a beautiful spirit. A friend of my sons tried to abuse a niece of mine. Mom and Dad would not press charges so all we could do was warn everyone about him. Today I found out that at 21 he has testicular cancer and is going to lose that which he values most. I would rather he get booted off the planet but maybe this is worse for him. I hate him for what he tried to do and for making me a hater. I wish they could really understand the hurt that they cause. I hope this letter is a rebirth for you, stronger and wiser now, don't forget to stand tall and be proud!

Answer 5

I think that you should tell the police. I also think that you should talk to other female relatives and find out if he abused them. Pedophiles don't just up and quit molesting/having sex with children. Once they are finished with one victim they go and find another. He won't stop until he is forced too. I believe that pedophiles don't have a conscience so your writing to him won't effect him. (If they had a conscience they wouldn't be able to do the things that they do). As for your children they will probably find out, but you can use this situation to talk with them about sexual abuse. As for how to take care of a pedophile I think a bullet to the head is the way to go. Think of it like this, you won't have to touch the scuzzball and he will go straight to the pits of Hell.

Answer 6

I am so proud of you for doing this,i was sexually abused as a child too by my grandfather but i never had the balls to address him about it.He is going to hell anyways but i praise you and the letter is good,i think that is appropriate punishment cause i have a daughter too and he will never meet her that dirty old pig!!

Answer 7

I cannot believe that anyone could be aroused by a child!!! I feel so sorry for you, but better things will come in the future. I know you will never forget him, but just never associate with him anymore because for what he did he shouldn't be alive in my opinion. You are a very strong person to have written that letter. I hope you send it to him or let him know what it said in some way. Please stay strong.........

LYLAS
-Nikki

Answer 8

Well as being abuse as a child and as women you can never say waht you want to say to them and it will bug you for ever? I they will never give you the right anwers or anything belive me i tryed with my dad? anyways good luck.

Answer 9

sorry u went through that. i think that the letter is fine as long as it helps u to express your anger. i think u should still tell. who know's maybe your not the only child he did this to. he could be doin it to a child right now. also, if your kids did find out, they would learn that they don't hafta allow someone to get away with doin that to them. they would learn through your courage to speak out about it.

Answer 10

I agree with what you have written as your uncle should not get away with it. Maybe you need to make sure that other family members also read it. from what i read i believe that you do need more counselling, darl, and then you can truly get on with your life. good luck.