why can't i get pregnant?

Question

my husband and i want to get pregnant so bad!! we've tried for a little more than a year and its so frustrating that i can't get pregnant! every month its the same thing i take a pregnancy test and it says negative and i cry!! what makes it worse is all my unmarried friends get pregnant by mistake and are all upset about it but i can't get pregnant and provide a child a wonderful life!! why is this?!?!?!

Answer 1

Have sex three times a week.

Having regular sex is the best way to get pregnant. Couples often try to time everything perfectly for ovulation but do not have sex when they think they are not ovulating. It is true that sex that is not within the time of ovulation will not result in pregnancy. However, because women do not always ovulate when they think they will, having sex three times a week will help to a woman cover her bases, so to speak, and not miss an opportunity to get pregnant.

2. Use an ovulation prediction kit or fertility monitor.

Using an ovulation kit to predict when you are ovulating will improve your chances of getting pregnant. For many women charting or other methods of ovulation prediction are too confusing. Ovulation prediction kits work by reading LH surges prior to ovulation. They are relatively easy to use and are generally accurate for predicting ovulation. Fertility monitors, such as the Clear Blue Easy monitor, are also a worthwhile investment if you would like to get pregnant faster. Fertility monitors are similar to ovulation prediction kits in that they read changes in LH but they also read changes in other hormones and don’t require any guesswork for couples. They are easy to use and will tell you when the best time to get pregnant is.

3. Have sex before ovulation (not after).

Sometimes couples get confused about the best time to have sex in relationship to ovulation. You have a small window of time each month to get pregnant. After a woman ovulates the egg will survive approximately 24 hours. Sperm, on the other hand, will live for up to three to five days. This is why having sex two to three days before ovulation will increase your chances of getting pregnant. Don’t wait until the day you ovulate to have sex. Your partner’s sperm will last longer than your egg and you don’t want to miss an opportunity by waiting.

4. Don’t rely on the Calendar method for predicting ovulation.

A lot of couples have heard to have sex around day fourteen of your cycle. This is based on the calendar method and assumes that you have a regular 28-day cycle and ovulate mid-cycle. Although this is better than just picking an arbitrary day to have sex, it is not a very accurate way to predict when you ovulate. Many women do not ovulate on day fourteen and knowing precisely when you ovulate will help you time intercourse better. Ovulation prediction kits, looking at previous months bbt charts, or watching for body cues will help you to determine when you ovulate.

5. Charting may not be the best way to predict ovulation.

Charting is great for tracking your cycle but it does have disadvantages. By the time you can see ovulation on a bbt chart, you have already ovulated. It is good to chart so you can track your cycles, see if you ovulate the same time each month, and also so you can look back on your cycle and see if you timed things right. But if this is your first cycle trying to get pregnant or if you are not ovulating at the same time each month, an ovulation prediction kit would be more helpful.

6. See a doctor before you start trying to get pregnant.
Make sure you are in good health and have had a regular check up from your OBGYN or medical provider. Untreated infections, sexually transmitted diseases, or poor health can affect your chances of getting pregnant. Its good to see a doctor as well as start taking prenatal vitamins prior to trying to conceive.

7. Don’t smoke, drink alcohol, or abuse drugs when trying to get pregnant.
This may seem like common sense but many women do try to get pregnant while smoking, drinking or using drugs. Smoking, drugs, and alcohol can affect your fertility. It will also affect your unborn child. It is important to stop smoking or using drugs and alcohol before getting pregnant and not wait until you find out you are pregnant.

8. Have enjoyable sex.

Sometimes when couples are trying to conceive, sex becomes a job or function of reproduction and is not as enjoyable. Plan a romantic evening or try something different to spice things up. How you are feeling sexually may factor into your chances of getting pregnant. Some researchers believe that having an orgasm during sex increases your chances of getting pregnant. For women, the spasmic movements of orgasm will help pull the sperm into the uterus and for men a better orgasm may increase the man’s sperm count.

9. Have sex in positions that keep sperm inside the vagina longer.

The missionary position is a good position to use when trying to get pregnant. Avoid positions where the woman is on top. Gravity will allow sperm to leak out with these positions. Also try placing a pillow under your hips to help tilt your pelvis and keep the sperm in longer. Don’t get up right after sex. Try to relax and allow the sperm to stay in the vagina as long as possible.

10. There is no such thing as trying too hard to get pregnant.
Most couples get pregnant within a year of trying. If you have not gotten pregnant within a year consult your doctor for advice.

Answer 2

Timing, luck and in our case temperature were factors.

Yes, now at 53, I have 3 of my own and 1 adopted. My last, not the adopted, will be 7 months tomorrow.

Funny thing this BUT it can be a matter of whether your husband wears boxers or briefs! Not kidding. The all important heat factor.

My 1st wife is convinced that both times she got pregnant, and we had been trying for 3 years, was after I had gone swimming. Cooling the body.

With my 2nd wife, we again tried, like YOU for a long time. Yes, we got told off about the frequency. But as I have always told doctors I get a terrible headache if I don't have sex every day. In the end they ruled out that chesnut ... about too often not being too good.

We had a 10 week miscarriage. They had to operate on her. They found tons of "endymitrosis"(?) around her womb. They took that off. She was pregnant within 3 months.

So ... so many factors. A year is nothing. I know how frustrating it can be. We have been there.

Just rule out the basics ... like temp, YOUR "plumbing", his sperm count etc.

Then JUST enjoy trying to make a baby. It isn't like it is a punishment.

All the best. I will keep my toes crossed for YOU.

Answer 3

For one thing--STOP worrying. You are putting so much strain on yourself, no wonder you can not conceive.

RELAX. getting pregant is supposed to be fun and exciting, not work.

Take a week off an de-stress. Then, start making love every night.

Men replace their semen very quickly and fresh semen have healthier sperm.

In many cases, women who use this method can conceive in as little as three months. Trying the "old" way usually takes 9 months.

For more info, look at americanbaby.com. Lots of good stuff there.

Answer 4

For one thing, quit trying, the more you try you ain't going to get pregnant, have sex, saying to yourself, I am not going to get pregnant, that is what I was doing and got pregnant....The second, don't stress, Third, you might be anemic, my cousin just find out that is why she can't have a baby, go to the doctor and get a blood test to see about your iron level, Fourth, go to the doctor and make sure you can have kids, if you can, then get your husband check, and if he can, then have sex without trying!!! I am sure you will get pregnant when the time is right and when the Good Lord wants you to have one!!! You have to keep in mind that he knows Best!!!! Best Wishes to you and your husband!!!

Answer 5

If it has been a year worth of trying, you and your husband need to go to the doctor to see if there is anything going on. It may be nothing, but the doctor may be able to give you some suggestions to help things along. I am sorry it is taking you so long, I have friends in a similar situation. Hang in there!

Answer 6

To get pregnant you must have sex on a day that your eggs are being released.

After the 3rd day from the day that menses started put a thermometer into your mouth and check your body temperature every morning before you start turning in bed. The best time is at about 4 a.m. Maintain a chart. You will find that on one day the body temperature drops from 1/2 degree to one degree. This is the day that your eggs are being released. If you want to get pregnant this is the day that you must have sex. Tell your husband to ejaculate on his inward thrust so that the sperms will shoot deep inside.

After having sex you must stay in bed for about 30 mins with your knees bent up with a pillow under your buttocks so that the sperms will not pour out - to enable them to travel up.

Get your husband to save his sperms in the testacles for at least 3 days before sex to enable them to mature well to do their job.

Answer 7

try getting an ovulation kit. it will tell you what days of your cycle are the best toget pregnant. Also , dont have to much sex, it can lower his semen levels. when you figure out when you are ovulating that is the best time and probably the only time to get pregnant. To give you an indication, you probably ovulate about 12-14 days after the first day of your last menses. Good Luck and have fun trying, dont make it job.

Answer 8

I am in the same boat as you and i TOTALLY understand how you are feeling. i think it is time for you to go see and Dr. and have your husband tested too. Best advice i can give you is see a Dr. i did and found a few things that were wrong with me :( Good luck though and just take one day at a time.

Answer 9

There are so many things to try. You might want to start with asking this question to your doctor. You and your husband can get tested. They can usually suggest simple things. Also there are some medications you can take to help out. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Are you on any type of medication? Sometimes medication can prevent pregnancies. Is you husband a smoker, drinker taking (steroids)?( if yes, this results in fewer sperm count). Just make sure that you take care of yourself and eat right, your husband to.

Answer 11

Great book out there, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" for self help. I would say after 12 months of trying with no success, consult your OB/Gyn.