wife spreading our personal life all over the web and to any one that will listen?

Question

what does one do when there wife is telling people on the web, our most private things, about arguments, and personal matters that should have been kept in the privacy of our home, seeking advice from one person is one thing, but just to seek out a multitude is just wrong,have asked for this nit to go on but have recently found that she is still doing this, honest answers and opinions, appreciated

Answer 1

I would be hurt as well. I would want to know why my spouse would rather talk to total strangers and tell them all about our personal problems instead of coming to me. She must not feel like she can talk to you and that is the only way she can get everything out. You should have a good talking to her and tell her how you feel.

Answer 2

Is she using your real names and do you know (in the real world) any of the people she's telling? If no - probably not a big deal.

However - if she's telling people you guys know or using your real names - tell her to stop. If she doesn't - *break* the computer and conveniently say you can't afford another one.

At the same time -- aren't you technically doing the same thing here? :)

Honestly - from my point of view (as a woman) - I've been guilty of doing the same. I joined an e-list about infertility when my husband and I were going through treatments just so I had a support group of other women who understood what I was going through. Conversations get pretty intimate in a forum like that.

So you might consider this. This internet group of friends or journal readers or list members or whatnot - may be your wife's support system because obviously she doesn't have that kind of support system in the off-internet world. It's not like she can go to you to complain about you. Sometimes you have to complain about your spouse. I hear men doing it all the time with their friends and co-workers. Women need that same venting support group.

If you don't know the people she's telling - you should be thankful she's not telling people you actually know. :)

Answer 3

well it seems that the two of you are having comunicating with each other. Thus why BOTH of you are seeking answers from others. Yes somethings probably should be kept in the family. But the family has to talk for that to be effective. Other wise you get what is happening now. Trying to understand what the other is thinking by asking strangers instead of asking the person you truely need to. With out the tool of effective communication any relationship has a large possibility to crash and burn.

Answer 4

Is it to anyone that you know? The reason I ask is that if it helps her sort out her feelings then is it really harmful if nobody know it is your family? The other notion is that perhaps by you reading her posts it might give you an idea of how she is really feeling and you would then have a start as to how to make things better for you both. The end result is her being able to share everything with you. Also keep in mind sometimes people feel lonley and judged. The support of stangers is a safe way to feel better. Best of luck

Answer 5

For negative or positive purposes ? Is she seeking advices to build or to destroy your family ? I believe , the web really helps alot in that many minds put together, would open our eyes ( questioner's ) at times ..But if her reasons are to destroy your relationship BECAUSE one of you or both have commited adultery , then You must forgive her or she you.. if that cannot be done , then divorce seems better... apart from this mentioned reason ,then keep telling her what you believe is best for her and that is to stop...be patient... she will to a time when she gets tired and will stop.. May God Bless you

Answer 6

Let me make sure I understand this correctly.........your pist at the Wife for doing exactly what your doing, minus the nitty gritty details??! WTF?!!

Maybe the Wife talks to us cause she feels she can't talk to you. Maybe your a bit unapproachable, insensitive, anger easily, listens to her until she says something you don't wanna hear, verbally/physically/emotionally abusive, I could go on and on.

Sit down and think about what you could do to make your wife coming to you about marital concerns easier. I understand totally you not wanting your dirty laundry all over the web, but people need an outlet, what else is she supposed to do when ( especially woman, were verbal, we have a need for conversation....that's why we talk so damn much in the first place!!), the one person she's supposed to be able to talk to is horrible at listening.

Answer 7

Well...it sounds to me like your wife is desperate for answers. She probably feels as though the only way she can feel secure about her position in arguements and disagreements is to have the backing and support of other people who feel the same way that she does. It sounds like you two need to have a long talk about why she feels the need to seek out answers from other people about your relationship issues. Try not to be angry, try to listen, and if you can't come to a solution, perhaps you need to seek the help of a marriage counselor who can help you with your communication issues. Good luck...

Answer 8

So are you saying to her..........do as I say not as I do? That's what it sounds like to me. You are doing the same thing by asking a question here. You both need to sit down and talk to each other and try to work things out before they get so far gone that your relationship will not recover. If you truly love each other, this shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 9

Youre doing the samething?lol So why should she stop youre not giving details but still asking for advise. You need to sit down and talk to each other instead of jumping on the www

Answer 10

I used to do this when I was married, on ONE message board, anonymously, and with women I grew to trust over many years of shared turmoils. No one knew it was me, and I didn't know them, just their screennames.

Some women hunger for chat. To disuss and analyze and dissect, its just, like men and car engines. That message board got me through a lot of rough times. If she's doing it under a "screen name", I don't see the harm.