i have a difficult decision to make?

Question

i have a friend who told me today shes pregnant shes set on having an abortion i am totally against abortions my friend wants me to go with her to have the abortion ive spent most of today trying to talk her out of it i find this hard as im pregnant with twins and i feel i cant deal with her situation i had a scan today and took her with me to show her that babies are a living gift that should have a chance of life my friend says she wont have the baby i said i would have it once its born do i go with her or disown her as my friend i really dont know what to do

Answer 1

well it took my husband and I three years to get pregnet. and i did not feel like a woman becuase i could not be a mother.. and i felt empty and alone. my husband did not understand me very much but now that i have my daughter it makes me feel so much joy that i have someone to live for.. but truthfully i am against abortion too so why dont you ask her to have the baby and when the baby is born find a loving couple and give the baby to them and tell her that if she does that all she has to do is gain weight and let it grow and then she can go back to her own self since she does not care about life.. also just tell her you are against her about the abortion and she is your friends but you do not want to go and dont want nothing to do with having an abortion and if she goes ahead with the pregency you will be here for her

Answer 2

All depends on her reasons to have an abortion. If she has a normal marriage, a happy one,with a supportive husband, theres no reason for her to abort the baby.
But then people have all kinds of reasons, sometimes genuine. I dunno what her situation is like.
Abortion per se is a wrong action i believe. It should be done only as a last resort. Maybe the baby is not growing normally? I'd like to think shes doing it for genuine reasons.
Having said that, i think u should tell her how u feel about the abortion thingy and not wanting to go with her, In fact i believe u shouldnt accompany her. For 2 reasons
1. coz u r pregnant urself and it'd be an upsetting event which cannot be good for ur babies.
2. Coz u dont believe in her reasons to do it. Telling her what u think upfront makes u a good friend rather than the other way around.
Tell her u cant accompany her for both these reasons. U can still be friends with her, if its OK with her. If shes a real friend she'll understand.

Answer 3

IIn your condition i would not recommend you go with her. Not only is it against your beliefs but being that you are pregnant it is insensitive to even ask you. Not to mention how upsetting it could be to you and other women in the waiting room. It is not a good or even very safe place to be should some kind of demonstration or anti abortion party be there. You should not feel guilty, you cannot make her decisions. Let her know you cannot support this decision and with your pregnancy you just can't go. If she needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on you will try to understand but this is against your beliefs and very bad timing. I am so sorry for you and for her and the baby she carries. Show her the information on line about abortion procedures and see if that helps change her mind. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Whatever you do, DO NOT let her go to Planned Parenthood for an abortion! They are abortion mills, they don't care about the patient, they only want the money. They don't counsel and give the woman her options, they just explain an abortion and do it, they don't say anything about adoption or keeping the child!

My sister had an abortion almost a year ago. It's hard to try and be there for them when you know they're making a horrible decision. All you can do is be there for her, even though you don't respect her decision, but if it gets to the point where you absolutely cannot continue, tell her and explain to her a little bit why you can't, but try your hardest not to get preachy. Also, try and get her to speak with at least one person who has had an abortion. They will tell her things like what goes on, how it feels, why it was the best thing they ever did and why it was the worst.

I'm still dealing with this and I will be forever. The only thing you can do is not let her horrific decision ruin your life. I didn't go with my sister to get her abortion, I just could not go there. I now resent my mother because she did go with her and she knowingly let my sister go through with it, without even a glance at her ultrasound, but my mother saw it, so I imagine it tears her up inside too. We did everything, my mother, my aunt, and I. We all offered to raise the child for her, doing the hard parts and letting her swoop in and save the day and "Mommy" still, but she said it was selfish. So I think once their minds are made up, they're not going to change.

Answer 5

Don't dump your friend. And don't try to talk her out of the abortion. But do tell her you can't go with her to get her abortion, that you wouldn't feel right being there while you are carrying your own twins. Tell her that you are still her friend, but simply cannot accompany her to the abortion clinic. Hopefully she will change her mind, but if not, then be there for her after the abortion is done. She'll probably be full of guilt and feeling pretty bad about herself.

Answer 6

I don't think you should disown her as her friend, but maybe share some thoughts w/ her. Something that I've always thought about...and idk if u read the bible much but theres a scripture found in Psalms chapter 139:16 that talks about how god can even see the embryo of a baby.. so he's sees it as a living person already even though ur not born. Someone i know loves that scripture b/c they would of been an abortion but her mother read that and decided to keep her, and she was always telling me that she was grateful for that scripture.

Answer 7

Please encourage her to choose life. Abortion is a choice that she will have to live with for the rest of her life, it's much better to have a child than to have an abortion no matter how hard it may seem. She will have you as a good friend to help go through this together, I don't know anyone who doesn't regret an abortion, you will never regret a child.

Answer 8

I'm sure you friend has thought long and hard about her decision. It couln't have been easy fo her. I think while you may not agree with it, she's going throuh enough without you condoning it. You could tell her that you are not willing to go with her. But, don't disown her because her beliefs differ from those of your own. Be as supportive as you can in her time of need. I'm sure she'll be there for you as well when those twins are born.

Answer 9

I believe like you do and don't agree with abortions. The problem is that people are having them like they go to the bathroom. The root is that they made a choice to have sex. Protected or not they made the choice. Now they are taking the easy way out. If you are good friends I think that the best thing for you to do is to disagree with her choice but still be a friend to her. She will have to live with the decision not you. If you cannot handle it after she does it then you may need to choose different friends. Ones who don't want to have sex before they are ready for the possibilities of pregnancy, STD's etc..... If you love her you will not judge her for her choices. She will get that from herself and may not be able to forgive herself. She needs to know that you will be there for her. It is not your place to make the decision for her.

Answer 10

Your friend needs you for support now and this will be a time that it is important not to try and judge her. Keep and open mind and suggest to her to have some counseling first to make sure that this decision is the right one for her. You must remember that in the long run it is her decision to live with and what kind of life will this baby have considering your friends present circumstances.