would you be okay w/ buying a house b4 marriage or marriage b4 buying a house?

Question

I want to be married first before I buy a house but my boyfriend wants us to buy a house first before getting married. Would you be okay w/ this setup?

Answer 1

The smart move is to get married first. A home is just as big of a commitment and responsibility as marriage. If your boyfriend is unwilling to commit to you and marry you then the last thing you need to do is buy a home together. The fact that you asked this question shows that your gut instinct tells you that it is the wrong thing to do. Listen to your gut and don't buy this house unless you get married first.

Answer 2

My husband and I purchased our first house before we were married. We were engaged at the time, and had already merged our bank accounts, so it was almost like we were married. Still, I think it would be a good idea to purchase a house if you have the means to do so, as getting into the market early is ALWAYS a good idea (I am in the Real Estate business, by the way) and interest rates are good right now. The only thing I would MAKE SURE OF, is that both of your names are on the title, so that if something happens and you don't get married, you will both be financially protected.

Answer 3

My boyfriend and I have had this same conversation too! My preferance is marriage FIRST. If you get the house first, what's the point in the marriage? You're already basically married, without the full commitment. You don't HAVE to live with someone to know what they're like. If you truly love them enough to get married, you'll get along living together just fine. That's the same BS as having to have sex with someone before you get married, to know if you're good in bed or not. An engagement ring is a promise, getting married is like fulfilling that promise. Oh also, if you get the house first and if you've already slept together, there's absolutely NOTHING to look forward to when you get married! Well of course the wedding and all that, but not the sex, not the house, etc. Look for a house together in the meantime of wedding planning, then when you get back from your honeymoon, you come home to YOUR house that you have TOGETHER. Awwwwww :)

Answer 4

Just because you want to buy a house doesn't mean you should rush into marriage. Buying a house can be a big thing, but marriage is nothing to be jumping into as an excuse. Honestly living with someone first before you marry them is a good way to figure out how compatible you are.

Answer 5

That would be fine as long as both your names are down on paper. You didn't mention when you guys are getting married so I am guessing it is in the near future. With the market being down on homes, now is the time to buy for a cheap price..regardless marriage comes before or after. If you decide to buy before, make sure you put your marriage name on the deeds after you get married.

If just say the marriage don't work out but I hope it does, you can sell it and split the difference. He can buy you out or vice versa. This is why it is very important for you to have your name down.

Answer 6

This is a difficult situation and you should really seek proper legal advice before acting. However, although she did not buy the flat initially and has not financially contributed to the mortgage, she may still be able to claim what's called a beneficial interest in the property. She can do this by proving that she has, for example, contributed to any household bills like council tax, water bill, etc or that she was responsible for the maintenance of your home like redecorating or gardening or she bought all your furniture. She can also prove beneficial interest by saying that she stayed at home and was a housewife, looking after your child which enabled you to go out to work to afford the mortgage. The courts will also need to look at the practicalities of a single man finding alternative accommodation (that's if you do not have custody) versus a single mother with a child finding and affording accommodation. You of course will be able to prove that the flat was yours before you met and married and that you have been paying the mortgage but it could still be the case that you will be required to move out or, alternatively, that the flat is sold and you must give her a percentage of any equity you make in proportion to the amount the court feel she has contributed to your family life and relationship. It really is a minefield though, this area of law, and you should really seek proper legal advice as soon as to protect yourself as much as you can.

Answer 7

Have you ever watched Judge Judy????
Playing married, and doing things such as making major life purchases w/out the benefit of marriage is absolutely retarded. If it's that important for you two to buy a home now maybe you guys need to go to the Justice of the Peace and get married ASAP, but don't buy a house w/out the benefit of marriage, or unless the property is in your name only.

Answer 8

If you break up the house will have to be sold if you are married or not. The only way you will keep the house is if you have kids and the judge awards the house to you during a divorce. If you two broke up it would be easier to pick up and leave if you had an apartment.

Answer 9

I say get married first and then buy the house. If the relationship doesn't work out for whatever reason, then your stuck in a contract with the man.

Answer 10

My husband and I bought our house before we were married and both of our names were on the loan. So insist on that if you decide to do it before marriage.

Is there a reason you want to be married first? Just wondering because if both your names are on the loan, a breakup - married or not - will still be difficult.