To poor to procreate! What should I do?

Question

I just got married and we have very little my husband a problem with his credit cards and it's dragging us down the whole. Now I have to choose between groceries and birth control! Needless to say I choose food but for my husband it isn't that easy and not to gross anyone out but i can't get him off of me (I've literally had to fight him sometimes). How do i make him understand before i end up pregnant?

Answer 1

For one, go to Planned Parenthood. They will bill you on a sliding scale, so that it will be something you can afford.

Then, perhaps you could compromise with your husband, during your fertile time...Maybe he'd be okay with just oral sex for a few days a month?

After you've distracted him a bit, remind him that you do not have to submit whenever he's in the mood...that's rape, even if you're married. Naturally, sex is fun, and most of us enjoy it and all, but if you say no, then that needs to be the end of the conversation. Period.

Answer 2

Even though you didn't ask, I see a few problems here, sweetheart. First of all, your husband has a problem with credit cards. That means that you should see a counselor to help you with your debt -- you can get help from your nearest Social Security office and I urge you to go there asap!

Second, groceries is a good choice -- you need to eat. As for birth control, you can either go to Planned Parenthood (where the fee is based on a sliding scale -- so if you have very little, they often take nothing from you) or again, your local Social Services Department. They can also help you get food stamps and in many cases money toward rent if you need it.

But the third thing, the thing that bothers me the most, is that you "literally had to fight him sometimes" to keep him from having sex against your will, whatever your reasons. That is a red flag, love. You need to get some help with that too -- again, Social Services can set you up with counseling or whatever else you need. I hope you'll go and bring this email if you have to. Just make sure and get the help you need.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

FIrst of all, can you sign up for a program that offers food stamps? My mom says they're awesome, and they help with bread, milk and the basics. Im sorry that you're husband has put you both in debt. Id get rid of the credit cards, or put them all on one card that has 0% interest so you can pay them off. Im sure you've tried talking to your husband about babies, but he probably wont "get it" until its too late. Explain that you want a child (if you do) but you want whats best for him/her. Use condoms (I know they can be a little expensive), or maybe you can go to a planned parenthood, or your obgyn and get some free samples. Good luck and I hope everything works out for the both of you!

Answer 4

Wow. Good for you for taking into consideration the fact that you cannot afford a baby and therefore are taking steps not to have one. If more people were like you, the world would be a much better place. I'm with everyone else. A women's clinic should offer you help as far as birth control.

Answer 5

don't worry about the money. you should worry about if both of you want a baby or not because been parent is not just be pregnant, and go to labor it is more than that it is a great responsibility. you should think about it.
about the food or birth control. Birth control is free in most community clinics and food you can find it free just ask on your community clinic about it and they will help you;

another think if you like sex enjoy it, but if you don't feel comfortable in the way he acts just talk to him about it he will understand. Good luck and let me know about you problem.

Answer 6

First of all, if you're having to make that decision, there are places you can go to get on food stamps and there should be a planned pregnancy center that can put you on birth control at little or no cost. Until then, just don't give him the opportunity. Go to bed early, wear underwear, sweat pants and t-shirts. Don't look sexy at all.

Answer 7

Go to Planned Parenthood for your birth control. Depending on your income, they might ask you to just make a donation. When I wasn't making a lot on my own, I'd get my pills from there and gave them $5 for my pills because that was literally all I could afford.

Good luck.

Answer 8

If your too poor to buy birth control then your definetly too poor to have a baby! You can find free birth control through th government I'm sure, check it out on the net.
Go to yahoo.com, type in " free birth control" and the name of your city and/or province/state.
Hurry! Now! before you get pregnant!!

Answer 9

Please read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertilty or its website http://www.tcoyf.com . This is all about natural family planning, and how you can learn to tell when you are fertile or not, so that you can avoid pregnancy with out birth control. (Your library should have a copy).

And I'm sorry to say this, but your husband should resepct you enough to lay off. Have you talked to him about how you feel? Does he realize the position you are in? I realize that men need more sex than women, but really....I guess you could lock the bedroom door too.

Good luck, you sound like you need it.

Answer 10

Birth control can be very expensive. If you aren't ready to have a family yet, talk it out with your husband. Communication is the best tool. Be creative...sometimes, all he really wants is attention. But talk to him; write a list of pros and cons...you write one, and he writes one. Match them up and try to make a decision together. Good Luck!