Hi everyone, I have somewhat of a difficult situation here. I have 2 boys from a previous marriage, and when I got re-married he didn't have any children of his own and always wanted one. Well, he finally convinced me into having one with him, and we had a baby girl (yeah!) lol, who is now 10 mths. Well, he would really like to have a boy of his own now, which would make us with 4 total! Wow, and i thought 3 was hard enough! Well, anyway, I went off the pill in Sept. and we tried 2 weeks later had sex on ovulation and nothing happened! We were both dissapointed, especially since we got the girl so quickly. Now, we're looking at eachohter, after only 1 mth of trying and figuring out who has the fertility problem! It has caused argumetns! Now, honestly, I am happy with what I have, 3 beautiful children, which is challenging as it is, so I can only imagine what adding a fourth would do. However, I feel guilty if I don't give him another child. Should we continue to try?
2006-10-19 09:32:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Well firstly you do not have a fertility problem if you have only been trying for a month, especially if you just went off the pill.
Secondly, you really need to decide what is best for your family. It is very easy to make children, but has your husband really thought about if it's feasible to raise 4 children in your home.
What if you get pregnant with another girl? Will he want to go for baby 5 to try for that boy?? Instead of arguing, sit down and have a serious talk with him and decide what is best for you family.
2006-10-19 09:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, with 3 already, 4 isn't going to be THAT big of difference. Secondly, don't feel guilty for not giving him a son. God gives you what he decides you're ready to handle and if you don't get pregnant or have another girl, it just means that you're not suppose to have another boy. That's all. As far as the two of you fighting, that's something that only the two of you can figure out why it's happening. For only trying for a month, the two of you shouldn't get your hopes too far up right now. My husband and I tried for a year and a half before we conceived. IT TAKES TIME! Just think though of how much fun MAKING the baby is!!!
2006-10-19 16:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by Rebecca M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get pro-active with your trying. Just guessing decreases your chances and each year you get older decreases your chances - especially over 35. I will be 39 Nov 3 and due Feb 2.....This is my standard answer......... go get a book called Taking Charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler
This book will help you with all of your menstrual and conception questions. It’s for all women - not just women trying to conceive. It covers everything from temperature to mucus checking, etc.. It will help you understand your body and all the myths about it. It will help you time when you are ovulating and the best times to conceive – or not! It tells you how to figure out your cycle and what to expect. My husband and I tried for a year to conceive and nothing happened. The first month I used the book we conceived right away. Now I am due Feb 2. It's about knowing your body and knowing when you are fertile or not. You can pick and choose what you do with your info. Good luck and don't listen the all the myths!
2006-10-19 16:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by jachooz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty. You already have two boys and if he is your husband he should be happy with those boys. I can imagine how hard three is i only have two. Four would be crazy. How far apart are the kids?
If you want to and think your ready to handle another go ahead. One month certainly isn't enough time to start worrying about fertility. It usually takes at least six months to get pregnant.
Plus how good of a dad is he? Is he real hands on? Can you afford another? IF he isn't around to take care of the kids why have another so you can be more stressed.
2006-10-19 16:38:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the stress of conceiving a boy that is causing you not to become pregnant. Enjoy the sex and don't think about getting pregnant. It will eventually happen some day.
My husband felt pressured to get me pregnant and he just couldn't relax and enjoy the process. It took a while for him to forget about getting me pregnant and just enjoy the pleasure. Finally, I was ovulating on Valentine's Day (we didn't know how to calculate ovulation days at that time) and the feeling was there and that's why I'm 36 weeks pregnant now. Yesterday, I found out that I was 80% effaced and 3 cm dilated. The baby is definately coming pretty soon.
2006-10-19 16:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs Apple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes keep trying. Just because you missed one month doesn't mean someone has a fertility problem. A woman only has a 20% chance of becoming pregnant each month. Try having sex to 2 days prior to ovulation and the first day of ovulation. this will give you your best chance to conceive.
www.webmd.com
will have more details on a successful conception.
good luck.
2006-10-19 16:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by lil_love1982 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if he is a true husband and father I would tell him that he already has two boys, unless he doesn't consider himself their dad ( there is a difference between a dad and sperm doner)..... Second you should count yourself out after just one month but if this is causing problems already imagine how difficult life will be with four. I am not saying stop trying but life is hard enough without adding more stress to it, plus stress doesn't help with conception.
2006-10-19 16:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by Linz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can continue to try but maybe you should talk to him about the fact that 3 is more than enough for you. It could be your mind keeping the two of you from getting pregnant or it could be as simple as it hasn't happened yet. It took me 3 months after I stopped my birth control to get pregnant. If its what you want, don't give up.
2006-10-19 16:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by Nathan & Pamela W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying but don't focus on it. And don't blame each other!! You already know you both can conceive, so just be patient. My son in law was adopted when he was a baby because his adopted parents were told they could never have children of their own. Six months after they adopted him she became pregnant! So, it will happen, just be patient.
2006-10-19 16:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by blondee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One month of trying isn't long at all. Try not having and children and trying to conceive for 4 years!!! You shouldn't blame each other as to who is infertile and who isn't. Obviously, neither of you are and it's too soon to tell anyway.
2006-10-19 16:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by JoesWifee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋