I was watching Oprah two days ago. And they had Gayle on the show. And they were talking to an Amish married couple. And they were talking about not doing any kind of touching at all until marriage. And Gayle said, " To most people only having one person sexually is scary." So I ask this question to you. Do you believe that it is scary to be married to the only person that you have had sex with? ( No having sex until marriage.)
To me, it would be scary to have sex with more than one person. I can't even imagin it. I was 28 years old when I got married and I was still a virgin. I don't even understand why people feel to the need to sleep around. In this day and age with STD all around, why people would sleep around. Think about it. If you never had sex how would you know if it was good or not??? How would you know if your spouse was a bad lover or not. I truly believe that my husband ( who wasn't a virgin when we got married) and I have a great sex life.
2006-10-19 09:24:40 · 10 answers · asked by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We have been married for 5 years and we make love 3-6 times a week, 2-4 times a day. The last girlfriend my husband had he broke up with in 1993 and didn't make love again until our wedding night in 2001. He is a wonderful and giving man when, we make love. I come first always.
I also don't understand people who say that you will have a bad marriage if you wait. Why??? I think your marriage will be stonger because you waited. You have no one to compare to. And you gave your spouse a wonderful wedding gift.
2006-10-19 09:28:16 · update #1
I had my husband tested for STD's before we got married. He is clean. And he is not the kind of man to cheat. And no I don't feel like I have missed out on anything. In fact I feel like I am a very lucky woman. How many woman can say that they married the only man they have ever dated, kissed & danced with??? I can. And it makes it much easier to teach our kids that it is wrong to have sex out of marriage when you have saved your self for it.
2006-10-19 09:45:45 · update #2
I'm with ya girl!!! I was a virgin until I got married and so was my husband. I don't need to compare. What we have is great and there is no need for me to "know" any different. I mean no offense to you, but the thought of my husband being with anyone else before me just grosses me out. That is my personal opinion. It relieves me to no end that he is my only and I am his only. And if my husband is the worst lover in the world, it doesn't matter to me bacause he satisfies me and that's all that matters. For me it's not a contest on who can be the best. It is a very personal connection that he and I have and I need not comparison to know if it's good or not. If this world held up higher values for such a spiritual and intimate act between two people, we wouldn't have to worry near as much about STDs.
I totally, 100% believe in abstaining until marriage and that is what I will teach to my kids. My wedding night was absolutely magical and I know it would not have, had we not waited. Not to mention, things are way less complicated when sex does not rule the relationship.
I am a religious person and I firmly believe in the teachings of our Heavenly Father and Jesus. I know that the values I have been taught are absolutely the best way to live and I know my life is far better for sticking to my values than it could have been had I not. I am very blessed in my life and I know it comes from living my life in accordance to the Lord's teachings. Believe me when I say I have had a glimpse of what my life could be otherwise and I prefer to keep things the way they are right now.
I do not mean to be preachy and I do not mean to offfend anyone. I respect other peoples decisions and I feel that there are consequences to every decision a person makes, be it good or bad.
However, the good consequences are far better than the bad ones!!
2006-10-19 09:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's scary to be involved with only one person. At the same time, I don't think it's scary to be involved with MORE than one person, either (at different times, of course). I wasn't a virgin on my wedding night, but I was a virgin until 23, and I had graduated college. I think what terrified me was the thought of being pregnant without having completed my education and being able to provide for any children that might have come along. (Yes, I took precautions and was never in that situation, but, still, you never know how unlucky you'll be). I was never a one-night stand type of girl. The only men I've been with were serious, long-term partners.
And, having been with a couple of people before my husband, I can say that he's the best I've ever had, so, maybe it's good to have some comparison. :-)
I don't think people should be looked down on as freaks for remaining virgins, if they choose to, nor do I think mature adults should be villified if they choose to be sexually active outside of marriage. As long as they are able and committed to being responsible for any potential children and/or consequences that arise as a result of their choice, I've no problem with it.
My problem is with 14 and 15 year old kids getting pregnant. I will tell my daughter the truth; that Mom wasn't a virgin when she got married, but she DID wait until her college education was completed, and she was ready to deal with the consequences of her actions. However, if she comes home knocked up at 17, there will be hell to pay. :-p
2006-10-19 13:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by katheek77 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At one point in my life I might have agreed with you.
If I hadn't of had sex with my husband before we were married that could have spelled divorce for me the next week. In my case I have a tilted uterus and if I wound up with a hubby who wasn't the right size for me there would be no sex life!
I never slept around because that was the thing to do, it just was the flow of my life for a time.
In some ways it would be a beautiful thing just to have had one but I value the expirences I have had in this life and what they taught me.
2006-10-19 09:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by kardea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and you are alike. It's a ridiculous thought really. I'm not judging those who had more than one partner prior to marriage, but I've only had one, my spouse, and I do not feel as though I have missed out on anything and I do not have any desire to experiment or see what someone else is like. I am thankful that God gave me my husband and spared me the heartache and other negative things that potentially occur when people give themselves sexually to a number of different people.
2006-10-19 09:30:51 · answer #4 · answered by SOM 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I could never imagine only sleeping with one man in my entire life. You have no idea what your missing. Some guys know nothing and some guys just knock your socks off. Your husband wasn't a virgin when you slept with him so you could have easily gotten an std from him. There are ways to protect yourself you know. When you get married you dont use condoms usually and leave yourself open to all sorts of things. Most men do cheat so he can always bring something home to you. Isn't it sad to say you dont know if your lover is good or bad because they are the only person you ever had ?? I couldn't imagine it.
2006-10-19 09:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I concur. What's scary is all the potential STDs out there. That is freakin' scary. Oprah needs to do a show about that!
2006-10-19 09:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he is random then i would say something like ofcrs u do ... am very lovable and refuse to take it further ... now if u been chatting for 48 hours non-stop ... there is such thing as love at first IM or webcam ... lol ... it wont be your true love kinda thing but some ppl can feel very strongly about other ppl no mater how long they have known them ... i would not make fun of it in any case ... love happens and has no boundaries of time, space ... etc ...
2016-05-22 02:59:40 · answer #7 · answered by Margaret 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. Unfortunately, the comments on the Oprah show simply show the attitude of our society. That's what's scary.
2006-10-19 09:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who are Gayle and Oprah?
2006-10-19 09:40:58 · answer #9 · answered by Pencil 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a great story, Monkeynuts.
2006-10-19 09:31:24 · answer #10 · answered by Chucky 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋