i am in a serious relationship with a guy(married) but...i also am looking to divorce him to marry another man who knows of my marriage to guy number one.we have not met in person but spend hours talking and sending each other mail.we know that we want what each other wants.Now while waiting to be divorced from guy one and married to guy number 2 i have started two relationships with differnt guys who both know that i am currently married and plan to divorce and marry another man.Now in this time one guy has brought his children into our relationship and i spend many nights as a family with them.i am not getting attached just filling time till life moves forward to be with the man i will marry.and guy number 2 i see on weekends and we have such fun together he is always telling me to protect my heart but....seems to be getting more attached to me.like i said i am just filling a void till i go to see the man i plan to marry once i connect to him in sexual way i will no longer be free
2006-10-19 09:15:33 · 20 answers · asked by Juanita Tsangning 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All I have to say is "YOUR CRAZY"!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sorry for your first husband because he has wasted his time and love on you. Thank goodness he won't have to spend the rest of his years with a low life like yourself. The second guy is crazy for even wanting to be with you because you were married, and if you cheat on your husband you would cheat on him also. I guess he's too stupid to realize that one. These other two guys are just getting what they can out of you which is sex. Your nasty as hell anyway so you fit this role very well. You say your trying to fill a void, but I think your just using this as an excuse. You need to get yourself some real help because your headed down a dangerous and very unhappy path.
2006-10-19 09:28:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! What a mess, you need psychological help here, I see your views on marriage are rather superficial all in all, you really shouldn't get yourself involved with anyone's children as you might transfer the craziness to these innocent ones and I agree with the other answerer, you can be anything you want to be and the other person on the computer, but reality is completely different.
You sound awfully immature, sorry to be so blunt, but for your own good, take some inventory of your life and actions, it is your life and it is your business, but for some reason you are posting it here if you didn't care to receive ether's opinions you wouldn't have posted this here.
You are in for a big surprise when you meet guy number 2, you might not marry him, has that ever occurred to you? I've known several people who thought they were getting married to their computer sweetheart, but it blew up in their face, because they were a completely different person, physically and were deceived. You have to grow up a bit. yes and you should guard your heart, not hurt others either, and watch for ST D's!!
2006-10-19 16:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by You are loved 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldn't care what other ppl think of your realtionships, because then you run the risk of trying to please others and potentally sabotaging even your best efforts at a healthy relationship.
Objectively speaking, and of course you don't have to take to heart what I am saying but.....you are in a can of worms.
First of all let me say this, planning on marrying a man that you have never met is a HUGE mistake. Talking on the phone, online and letters is not a good forcast of future life in person. I know because I did it. We were awesomely compatible, we communicated well, but what choice do you really have when there are no physical factors? For over 2 yrs we did it, and when the time came for the physical aspect of the relationship, it all dissapted. There is so much more to marriage than just "talking", and knowing what eachother wants per say. So good grief with all of that!
2nd off, if you really "loved" and wanted to marry and be faithful to the phone man. You would not be trying to "fill the void" with anyone or anything else. I mean lets face it, when you plan to marry someone it is because they have filled all of those voids.....(except that doesn't happen with a phone man), among other reasons.
3rd off. I wouldn't encourage you to get married AT ALL, you have a hard time being faithful to...let me count, 4 men LET ALONE 1!! You have no idea what you want, and are being extremely cruel to all of those men. It doesn't matter that they know you are involved with the others. I can only pray you do not have children that you are subjecting to this mess.
So in regards to my 1st paragraph, no I don't think you should care what others think of your relationshipSSSS. But then again it wouldn't really matter if you did, because you are doing a fine, underhanded job of sabatoging them all by yourself.
GOOD RIDANCE! Grow up.
2006-10-19 16:31:52 · answer #3 · answered by Amber 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you love guy #2 either. I met my fiancee while he was separated from me. We had never touched until recently. All we had was the phone and letters. We fell in love with each other that way because all we could do was talk and correspond so we learned each other. We know each other better than anyone else. BUT while I was waiting for him, there was never anyone else. I couldn't even see myself with anyone else because I was so in love with this man. If you really love and want to marry guy #2, how do you spend time with other people? If your heart is with a man and for a man, there would be no way you could give it or share it with anyone else. Do you think he's spending time with other women? If he did how would you feel? Do you need someone with you that bad? Do you have a fear of being alone? Do you really want to marry this man? These are all questions you have to ask yourself to make sure this is what you really want. Then you spend time with another man that has children. What happens when the children get attached to you? Would you really hurt the children? Do you realize that you're starting something you're not going to be able to finish?
I wish you the best of luck in what ever you decide.
2006-10-19 16:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by ladystarrchild107 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You care what other people think because we as society dictate social norms and when one goes against the group they encounter resistance. A little rebellious nature is health, but over time the individual gets tired and conforms to something that both they themselves and society will accept. To accept the benefits that society provides is an acceptance of the beliefs of that society. If you do not like it you as a person have the right to leave and find a group willing to accept you.
Human beings don't survive well alone, so we willingly give up some of our freedoms to live with and be judged by other. And that is why you care.
2006-10-19 16:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you are in a pickle! You have to search inside of your self to see what really makes you happy. Their is nothing wrong with playing the field until you are ready to settle down. However, you need to be careful in marrying guy #2. Since you have never met you might not really connect???? So have fun and search to fill the void. If your friends do not approve they do not have to know!
2006-10-19 16:24:10 · answer #6 · answered by Cali Girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you can't even stay emotionally or physically connected to the men you have currently in your life! What makes you think you will be able to stay loyal and marry this man you have never met in person?? It sounds to me like you need a little more time to 'play the field', before getting into anymore serious relationships!!
2006-10-19 16:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by Meg 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow Juanita...what a glorious mess!! You had better go to confession!!! Why are you getting children involved when you have no intention of marrying that guy. You are hurting them and they will grow up not respecting women!!! I am sorry but you know in your heart of hearts what you are and I am sure if you have a mother she would be disgusted at your antics. You have nothing to be proud of and should feel ashamed of yourself.
2006-10-19 16:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to start caring about yourself first. Find out what you really want in life before you go marrying someone else, whom you have never met in person for one. Then you need to stop playing with others emotions...or allot of people are going to get hurt.....
2006-10-19 16:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by bam.... 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to get much "good advice" from this website. Most of your answers are probably going to be people telling you you are crazy, and that you're cheating, and that you're being unfair to all of these men.
Maybe try finding some other forum, where people that have been in similar situations can try to help you. Because to me, you just sound crazy and trashy.
2006-10-19 16:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by stillstanding 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋