my chinese wife thinks im weak and unloveable because of our social differences in the way we understand loving another person. is there any way i can make her think twice about leaving me because of the differences she dosnt understand or is it impossible to breach the barrier between our cultures and upbringing?
2006-10-19 08:15:54 · 14 answers · asked by gregory s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not impossible to overcome cultural differences. However, you might try to change your perspective. Maybe rather than looking for ways to "make" her "love and respect" you .... you should find ways to love and respect HER in the context she understands.
2006-10-19 08:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am curious why she married you in the first place if she thinks your weak and unlovable? If this is her opinion I can see her getting a divorce fast. Did she mention it had something to do with cultural differences? Or is she just saying that so she doesnt have to bash your character? Either way once someone calls you unlovable, it seems they dont love you, and if they dont love you I cannot see them going to extra mile to accept your differences. I have no idea except mabye learning more about the chinese culture to see where she is coming from. Either way it sounds like a bleak situation.
2006-10-19 12:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Greg,
If your wife thinks this then she's not caught in the chinese mode...she's caught in the self want mode. Asian women are nortoriously known for their loyality to their man. Once married divorce is considered a weakness of the two people and is typically avoided at almost all costs.
Another take is since she has marriaed outside of her race this could have "other" serious complications...exclusion from her normal community would be a particular heavy cross to bear.
My take on this if she is wanting to leave you it is either because of her own selfish wants or is because of a deeper cultural bias. It probably really doesn't have any relationship to you, your actions or how she percieves you or your actions. Either way you're screwed like a Christmas Pig!
I pray you don't have any children and you should dump her immediately so you can get back to your own culture/demographic group!
Check out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good luck
2006-10-19 08:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If there has been problem with cultural differences, it would be hard to believe both of u could get married in the first place. As far as I know, Chinese people are pretty serious with marriage.
I think proving to her your love is very genuine can help a lot.
2006-10-22 11:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Jack7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi i'm an equal opportunist myself. I think most asian men are unsure when it comes to asking out other races. My asian male friends are mostly timid when it comes to asking another race out just due to the unsureness that they have about the woman saying yes to dating an asian man. Also rejection plays a big role (but that's in every scenario). I personally think if you click with someone it doesn't matter what race they are. But I find it hard to find a Indian woman that will date outside their race. I think Indian women are gorgeous. As for asian girls dating white guys, my asian girl friends say that it's something different and they don't want to be with asian guys because they see them as being like their father. Old school asian fathers are usually unattached, unemotional, and lack in affection/intimacy towards their family. While white men provide that. But they agree that obviously times have changed and asian men now a days are much more loving & emotional than their fathers or fathers fathers.
2016-05-22 02:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you can not try to be someone you are not.. at least not for the long term. So try being yourself, if she can be happy with you for who you are then you can work on the other social differences. If she is not happy with you as a person.. then there are 1000 excuses she can use to leave you.. or you to leave her. Communicate your feelings with her about this and see how she really feels.
2006-10-19 08:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by Wolfeyen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man I no your thinking why do the men always get ran over in relationships well its because we are meant to be the head not in a bossy way but we have to lead our wemon they dont care bout skin that is bull s h i t if you show her you love her and that you can care and provide for her and you show her the right way she will come around it wont happen rite away but it will and if you still think well f u c k we arent going to make it then you need to look at why you got with her was it for lust because if it was then it most likely wont last plus you no s e x is pretty much gone when you get married any way and you need to under stand that you have to give up things and she got to give up things as well that is what a relationship is sacrifice I think its just that both of your egos are so large it is pushing you guys farther and farther apart so what you have is smothered and you got to be man enough to admit that your selfish because if you want her to show respect to your family then you got to be a man and lead show her that you can love her family and her values and she will start to do the same but you have to lead and it wont happen rite a way but if you love her you would do it and know that there are so so many different kinds of love for her maybe its money maybe its verbal like saying baby i love you theres lots of ways but step up they only ? your man hood when they dont think that they can build with you so show her you can
2006-10-19 08:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why can't you learn more about her culture and history? This is bound to give you better insight into how and why she thinks. Take an extra step, this is not an impossible task.
2006-10-19 08:19:04 · answer #8 · answered by jack w 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry sweetie, but americans can be very sweet you just need a class on WOMEN 101!
2006-10-19 09:12:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to not to judge her culture
2006-10-19 08:17:08 · answer #10 · answered by RENE H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋