well last night i went to the grocery store and wasn't gone 30 minutes and when i get back there is one of his old friends from high school that he hasn't seen in about 6 years, when i came in the house the first thing my hubby said was " good now that your home i can go have a fu**ing cigeratte and went out side and didn't come back inside till about 1 1/2 houers, he never talks to me like that. i was stuck inside with our 3 kids that were out of control! i was kinda pist off. he never said sorry to me for snaping my head off when i got home and i brought it up a couple time how up set i was. now his friend wants to hit the bars tonight with him. my husband told him that shouldn't be a problem as long as we get a sitter for the kids so that i can go. well my question is ... should i just let him go with his buddy or should i tag along.
2006-10-19 07:44:30 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
TAG ALONG!! obviously this guy brings out a different side of your husband, one you don't seem to like, if he shows such disrespect towards you in person, what kind of disrespect might he show you when you're not there, to impress this friend? I'm not saying your husband is a bad guy or that he would even do anything other than hit a few bars and have a few beers, but why sit at home with a knot in your stomach all night wondering what they are doing, where they are, when's he coming home. i've done the sit at home thing and never again, everytime i stay at home and let my husband go out with out me he is always hours later than he says, always drunker, never where he was supposed to be, and always because of who he was with. all guys aren't bad, my husband is great and rarely ever goes out, but all guys have a bad friend or two that just bring out a diff. side to our guys, one we have never even seen. i would go, you'll only resent him when you're home alone with the kids, esp. if they get cranky or something, i really get mad at my hubby when the kids act up and i'm alone when i shouldn't be!! :] hope this helps!!
PS
he got to catch up with his friend when he was having a f***ing cig. last night so he doesn't need anymore alone time!!
2006-10-19 07:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by jwpsgirls 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would tag along. You hubby told his friend that it was cool if you guys could get a sitter. Which means he wants you to tag along! =) Look about him snaping your head of.. Im sure it was because his friend was there. And he wanted to hang out with him without the kids being around. Was he understanding about you being upset when you brought it up? Did he care? If so dont sweat it... If he did, the next time that happens put your foot down!
Besides tonight you should dress up and have some fun!!!! Make some heads turn! Maybe then he wont snap at you. lol =) Have some fun for me too!
2006-10-19 07:50:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If hubby sugested the sitter so you could go too ....why not go . See what happens how he acts around his buddy it may give you some input on why he reacted the way he did that night you went shopping.
If he acts like a jerk around his bud that could be the reason it may not even have anything to do with you. If he starts treating you like garbage in front of his buddy to look like a big man just pull him aside and tell him you are taking a cab home and you will see him there. Dont start anything in public. Just walk away. If he has half a brain he should get the hint.
2006-10-19 07:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by Coyote 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you both could use a break. Being married with children is no where near as fun as it looks on TV. I think you should definitely get a sitter. If you go out with him or not is up to you, but what I would suggest is have a girls night out. Just go somewhere with no kids and have fun. The break maybe what you both need to remember your more then just a Mommy or Dad, but no one said you had to take your break together.
Go out have fun and plan to meet up with you husband later. He could have been upset because his old buddy reminded him of the carefree life you had before kids or he could have been in a mood because you leaving him with the kids while you went shopping made him as overburdened as you feel after a hard day of babies.
After you've had your fun and he has had his fun you guys can get together and have some couple fun, just make sure it doesn't result in more babies or it defeats the purpose.
But don't let him go out while you stay home with the kids. It will only lead to more resentment later on. Also if you go out with him and his buddies or not you two need to plan a date night to help you reconnect as a couple without his drinking pals.
Small children always put stress on a marriage. Its just up to you two to recognize that and work to resolve it.
2006-10-19 08:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by WriterChic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband has already expressed that he wants you to come along by saying "get a baby-sitter". It sounds as if you both could use a night on the town away from the house and kids for a while. If you and your husband are both planning on drinking; just be sure to use a taxi/cab and not drive to there and back home. So that you both arrive back home alive and well, safely together.
2006-10-19 07:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Tarlyng 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell hubby to slow down and look at me, and when he did tell him that you didn't appreciate being talked to that way the other night. I wouldn't go with him and his bud the first time but I would go the second time, like maybe every other time, I'm pretty sure that you won't be amused anyway. I would be firm about the first part though, and if it is not sinking in with him then tell him that you are expecting an apology. Good luck.
2006-10-19 07:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just let him go with his buddy. Somehow don't put a guilt trip on him either. He might of reacted like that cuz his friend was there. The thing that would worry me the most is why didn't he apologize then. Maybe the kids were getting to him. Who knows but I would want an explanation on why he acted like he did. It seems like me was acting like he was talking to the dog or sumtin. Good luck and don't sweat it to much. Men will always be men!
2006-10-19 07:48:51 · answer #7 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like your hubby wants to show off in front of his friend. Do you really want to go out with them if he is going to continue to act that way? Put it down to your husband that what he did was completely disrespectful and the fact that he didn't even apologize only makes it worse. Apparently he feels he has something to prove to this "friend" or he feels he has some image he has to maintain with this person. I would let him know that I didn't want to be around him ANYWHERE if he was going to continue to act like that. High school was a long time ago. He needs to get a grip, grow a set and lay off the macho bull.
2006-10-19 07:53:04 · answer #8 · answered by madevali 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't worry too much. This friend sounds like a bad influence, but you should not be obnoxious to your husband about it, or he'll just find his friend's company more appealing. Try to show that you let him go out with his friend, that you're cool, but let the problems arise, mention casually things about this friend that are not to your husband's liking, anyway slowly make this friend be put aside by being closer to your husband. Like go to the bar with them, but make sure you have to get home early because the baby sitter cannot stay too late or something.
2006-10-19 07:51:15 · answer #9 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't seem like he did it intentionally...Well, hopefully he didn't. I would so tag along. At least he's inviting you. He could have said he was going and told you to stay home with the kids. You never know you may have a good time and come to like this old friend of his.
2006-10-19 07:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋