My friend of 10+ years does not support my decisions the way I support hers. Should I bring this up or let go?

Question

I'm expected to drop everything to make it to her kids ball games, birthday parties and family outings but she doesn't do the same for me. If I even hint at this fact, she gets quiet and wait for the subject to change. I don't think it's fair to me. But I don't want to loose her as a friend. Even though she's not being a very good friend to me. What should I do?

Answer 1

Don't hint, just stop going to her functions. If she is too busy, can't you be also?

Don't confront the situation anymore, just politely decline future invitations. Slowly find other things to keep you busy so you are not lying to her.

If there are kids on both sides, it's a little rougher, but the effect will be the same. Your kids will ask about seeing her kids, but you will be busy with the new activities, and her kids will ask about seeing your's. Let her put the effort into fitting into your schedule from now on.

As she shows the initiative, you can start making time for her functions.

I am not condoning lying - SO DON'T. She is an adult and you have made it known how you feel. She just selfishly avoided the topic. Get ready for her verbal retaliation once you start to decline getting together. But I bet she will let remember that you brought it up to her! And if she gets nasty about it, you know you made the right decision by already finding other activities to do.

You are not in the wrong!

Good luck.