I have been married now for 7 years and we ahve a 6 year old daughter. My husband doesn't respect me, appreciate me, or trust me. I have never cheated on him before or have I ever thought about it. I ran into my ex-boyfriend about a month 1/2 ago and we've been talking. He still has feelings for me and I have more feelings for him than I've had for my husband in the last few years. I love being around him and talking to him and he makes me feel so wanted and appreciated. My head tells me that it's okay because I beleive my husband deserves it for treating me sooo bad the past few years. I love my husband but I'm not in love with him anymore. Me and my ex have so much in common and he is lke the ray of sunshine in my dark cloud of a life! What do I do? SOOOO CONFUSED!
2006-10-19 07:36:05 · 41 answers · asked by ... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You would never feel good about yourself if you cheated on your husband, and that would be so disrespectful towards your daughter. Be a good example to her, and do what is right, even if you do it for no one other than your precious little girl. Maybe you should talk to your husband, tell him what is in your heart, and maybe he can work harder toward being what you need, maybe you can go to counseling, and find a way to rekindle your flame. You must have loved him enough to marry him in the first place. After you have been married for a while, it is harder to feel the passion and romance, but it is still there, you just have to work harder to make it happen. Don't throw your marriage away, but if is beyond salvaging, then do the respectable thing and get a divorce before you hook up with your ex-boyfriend. AND just think, in seven years, you could feel the same way about your ex-boyfriend that you feel now about your husband. Don't take the easy way out!
I do feel for you, you should be happy, you should be with someone who makes you feel good. BUT cheating will only make you feel worse about yourself, and give your husband validation for not treating you like he should.
Please don't be irrational, and if your husband is as bad as you say, maybe you would be better off without him, but don't cheat on him, that is a cowardly thing to do.
GOOD LUCK, I really do hope you the best in this tough situation!
2006-10-19 07:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by jewel girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT CHEAT!!!!!!! No matter how bad your husband is, there is never an excuse to do the dirty with someone else while you're married. If the home life is so bad, then take time with yourself and figure out the best for you, your daughter, and your husband. Everyone will end up hurting if you cheat. Ask yourself how you would feel if he did this to you and what your reaction would be. Do some deep soul searching before you make any kind of decision. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
2006-10-19 07:47:14 · answer #2 · answered by whatever2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on your husband will just cause more problems and hurt to an already bad situation. He doesn't deserve being cheated on. That's just a justification for doing it. Noone deserves to have be deceived in a relationship. Even if they do it to you, two wrongs don't make a right. Split-up before you get involved in another relationship. It will be allot less messy.
Also, keep in mind that your ex seems more attractive right now because he makes you feel so wanted and appreciated. This could happen with another man that did the same. You are looking for that right now and thus are vunerable to it. It is not real, it just seems it right now. It's even intensified more because you had feelings for this ex at some point in your life. It's easy.
Do yourself a favor. Work it out with your husband (whether this is counseling or seperating) before you even think of bringing someone else in. It just muddies the water and you'll not be able to see anything clearly and in the end, you'll be the big loser, not your husband or your ex-boyfriend.
2006-10-19 08:16:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stoop to your husband's level. Suggest that you and your husband go into counseling together and separtely.
Your ex could be uses your vonabilty against you also. You may regret cheating on your mate in the future. If it is that bad get out first. Cheating will not make anything better.
Be honest with yourself. Do you want to leave your husband because you ran into your ex.
2006-10-19 07:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by Tyler&Noah's mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should first discuss your feelings with your husband, and if your issues cannot be resolved, get a divorce. Cheating is never right, and especially for revenge. Try to be the better person, and remember you are a role model for your daughter. Plus, you don't want to start out a relationship like this. The other man would probably have trust issues with you later on. How does the saying go? "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Another important saying to remember: "What comes around, goes around."
2006-10-19 07:48:56 · answer #5 · answered by ammecalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your husband and believe in the commitment you made stop having any contact with your old boyfriend. This will only complicate things and put a bigger wedge between you. Work on your marriage for the sake of your child if nothing else. Marriage is like any committment, there will be bad and good days. Love is more than "feelings". It's doing what's necesary to help your relationship grow and stay alive. Also think about your daughter. She needs you to love her father and have respect for him and yourself. Try to figure out what you need from your marriage and what you are willing to do to achieve that. Talk to your husband truthfully about how he has hurt you and find out why he is doing this. Perhaps he is willing to get counseling. Don't give your husband a reason to distrust you. Try to understand what is causing him to treat you badly. Good luck with this.
2006-10-19 07:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by saturna_kat2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a simliar situation only the guy I have feelings for I just met (not an ex). I've only been married for a little over a year, but I still feel how you do, I love him but not in love anymore. I think you should break it off with your husband before any cheating happens. That's what I'm trying to decide if I should do.. good luck
2006-10-19 07:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about the way you've been feeling and if you and your husband don't want to try and work it out then instead of cheating on him behind his back you should leave him and have a faithful relationship with your ex. Don't be a lying, cheating scank. No offense.
2006-10-19 07:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by Violet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned several things your your husband is doing to you...why are still with him? Do not cheat....resolve the issues between you and your husband....not that he's going to change. So end it before you get involved with someone else. It's just plain ole' not right to cheat when you are married. Take it slow. Most people find the joy of taking someone from their current relationship and when they get them...the challenge is over and they move on...and then you are stuck with no one.
2006-10-19 07:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by shyone911 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok DO NOT cheat on your husband if you love your daughter you will not. Think about her and try not to be selfish.
If you really think your husband is a bad guy and he doesnt care about you then get a divorce. But dont cheat on him or your daugter will never be able to respect you. Try to set a good example.
2006-10-19 07:42:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋