And I'd especially like to hear from someone who's already been through this and knows how I feel.
2006-10-19 07:17:07 · 11 answers · asked by vitamin D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
with plenty of energy and excessive amounts of lube.
2006-10-19 07:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
In regards to this question: I do believe that this question of yours is much more in presepctive than Cary W, who quite frankly has a lot of audacity asking something as self-pitying as her 'question".
Now...as far as you go. There's no easy answer for this. I can understand why the mere touch from a spouse so soon after a recently discovered affair can make you shrink back...let alone your husband trying to caress you and wanting to now engage in an act of intimacy that you thought was strictly reserved for the both of you and an expression of love and affection. I think that there's no easy solution other than time healing the wound. I too would be more than stand-offish to trade any bodily fluids, especially with a spouse who did so with a complete stranger.
You have quite the dilema and this won't become a moot issue overnight. In fact, infedility is never a moot issue and although you may forgive the hurt and pain you endured is lasting and will be with you until you go to your grave. I do commend you in not having the mindset that a quid-pro-quo situation will 'show him" as so many here have said in similar circumstances. I cringe when i see men or women who say "He/she had an affair with me so I went out and had one on him/her" or the woman who said "His best friend said he's f*ck me and I'm okay with it seeing how he is". I mean...really....isn't that sweet?
You hang in there lady. You have no easy path to travel here. It may be some time before you're ever comfortable with being that intimate with your spouse again. Hopefully you will but we're I him...if you avoided having sex with me for the next 365 days...well...I'd be smart enough to never say anything. I would only hope and wait that YOU would approach me when YOU'RE ready. That would be the best course of action for him to follow I think.
2006-10-19 07:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your dealing with a lot of pain and anger and betrayal right now.. sex should be the last thing on either of your minds. You have obviously decided to try and work things out? So take things slowly...he will need to date you all over again..and take things slow....you may never get over his cheating and in which case you will need to decide what kind of a future you want..with or without him. Cant believe your'e thinking about sleeping with him..if he needs it then tell him to take care of himself in the shower with his right hand...you my dear go and buy the most expensive vibrator $$ can buy and enjoy yourself....sleeping with the cheating ^$% isnt the answer right now!
2006-10-19 07:35:17 · answer #3 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think once cheating has occurred the relationship is dead. How can you forget about it. Its just not possible. Thinking of him being with someone else would make my sex drive go to 0. And dont forget all the paranoia you will go through wondering if he's doing it again. Just not worth it.
2006-10-19 07:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gee thanks Vitamin good way to get your own points but for those of you who voted so nasty! I did cheat on him told him and I'm the one who don't want it I feel like I'm not in love with him no more and as for divorce I asked for one and he don;t want to he says we can work on it so pfft ! to all the haters and how funny is it ppl are all yeah about the guy cheating and hatin on the women that cheats and p.s. protection was used NOW WHAT!!
2006-10-19 07:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by carly w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheat always a cheat in my book,. I dont know how long youve been married but Ask yourself if your able to live with this and if your able to forgive, because if your not then dont waste anymore of your time on this jerk and move one. Also are you still In Love with him or are you just used to being in the relationship. what are the pros and cons of your relationship. Is he even worth it.
2006-10-19 07:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by msfitz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going Thur it right now It is hard and if you are gonna stay then you need to work Thur it if he wants you to stay then he will understand that you need time I know everything you lay down with him you think about it I would say counseling that will help maybe even get you Thur but you are going to have to put it out of your mind and if you just found out then he should just forget about it for awhile
2006-10-19 07:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by Christine R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont you kick his butt to the curb and let the trashman pick him up . Once cheating has occured there is no trust and therefore no relationship. Get him out of your life.
2006-10-19 08:03:44 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that matters is do you love him, and does he love you. Please widen your perspective, you do not own each other no matter what the current morals are in the US today. The people who make those dictates do not live in your skin. It is up to you. I don't know if that helps.
2006-10-19 07:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you need help i did my ex cheated on me and all i could see is him and her and everytime he touched me i would vomit.I got some therapy and i eventually ended the relationship...
2006-10-19 07:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by plumcouch30 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋