and we absolutely would like to have a child together, I already have a 5 year old from a previous relationship. Do I stay with him, or do I walk away now. I want another child but our chances aren't looking too good.
2006-10-19 07:04:12 · 18 answers · asked by hofers65 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I will answer this question from my heart.....
My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we can't get pregnant because I don't ovulate without meds. I am on my 3rd round of clomid and there is a chance that we will not be able to get pregnant. We have no children yet either. So I worry all the time about my husband leaving me so he can marry someone else who can have children. I even gave him permission because I knew it wasn't fair to him but you know what? He said he loved me and that when we said our vows he knew it meant no matter what and so we are still together strong as ever waiting this nightmare out and hoping we can conceive. I really do understand how bad you want another child. I want one so bad sometimes that I feel like dying but I know I have so much more to be thankful for....I am healthy, I have a great family, I have food and a nice home and I have a good job. That is just a start of the great things I have to be thankful for. We can't make this decision for you. All I can say is that you need to make this decision before your lives get anymore complicated. Why not tell him how you want another child and try to get a second and even third opinion about him being able to father a child? Then if the definite answer is that he will never have a biological child ask if he was willing to adopt. If not then I say it will be up to you and whether or not you could live with yourself with either choice you make (break up with him and find someone else OR stay with him and enjoy life all you can). It is a hard decision and not one to be taken lightly. Good luck!
2006-10-19 13:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by brm1981 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you walk away now than you should never have though of having a child with him because you never love him
and also what if he was trying to see what kind of person you are
I find it hard for someone to wait 8month into a relationship to tell their partner that he can't have children
he told you that he can't have kid after the relationship become so serious that you two are discussing having children together
*we absolutely would like to have a child together*
IF a man can't have children usually from the beginning when you guys decide to have sex you discuss BC and if he truly could not have children he will have told you then that the two of you don't need protection from preg and let have test for STD
not after 8months
So tell him let's go see a doc to see what can we do to help us conceive
2006-10-19 14:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything can happen. I have heard of those who could never produce a child doing it. It all depends on why he was told this.
If you really love him and can not leave thing about adoption. Or even a donor sperm. You can have a child and it can be both of yours as long as he agrees.
If you are not sure of the love there, do him and you a favor and move on. No use staying in a relationship where there is not LOVE. And to have children in a loveless relationship is even worse. Evaluate you love. Is it really there? Just by you stating that you could move on shows me you may not love this man. Then let him go. Everyone has a soul mate and he may not be yours.
2006-10-19 14:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love this man, don't walk away. Thank God you have a wonderful 5 year old. If you want kids that bad, adopt. Too many children don't have a chance for a loving family. I would never leave a man just because he couldn't have kids, it's not his fault. Life is too short and too precious, love the man for who he is, and I'll bet he will reward you with lots of love too!
2006-10-19 14:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by cowboys21angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, do you truly love him? If you do then with him not able to have a baby is okay because you guys can adopt. If it's for that reason he cannot have kids and your leaving him, it means you don't care him, your relationship, doesn't love him. If you don't love him then let him go. Don't go on and hurt him. Don't be too selfish, then karma will come and get you.
2006-10-19 14:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by woowee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are only basing your relationship on whether or not you can have child with this person you are way to shallow. Besides, dont you think marriage would be best first before having another child? There is adoption or artificial insemination...
2006-10-19 14:52:57 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you love him u will stay
but if ur hell bent on having biological kids and u don't even want to go and try with him even if his chances are slim you should go now and not make it harder on the you or him.
2006-10-19 23:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by lifesquestions? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are even asking this questions should be a red flag. If you really love someone, you will stay with them no matter what.
2006-10-19 14:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by missyhardt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are a lot of options before you. first off, your relationship with him shouldn't be defined by his ability to conceive, that's completely unfair. plus there's a chance that he could be misdiagnosed, or the condition he has could change over time. there's also adoption, sperm banks, fertility treatments. don't give up!
2006-10-19 14:09:45 · answer #9 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to question yourself if your love for him will outlast your desire to have another baby. Only you can decide what is best for you. Considering you've only been dating him for eight months...isn't it too soon to be discussing having a baby?
2006-10-19 14:08:39 · answer #10 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋