I've known a friend since fifth grade. She is really fun to be around, just bossy and moody when she doesn't get her way. She keeps telling me about how she hates her life. She tells me that her parents don't really care about her at all. I haven't been around them for awhile, so I don't know if she's telling the truth or not. It seems to me that she thinks I can solve all her problems, but I know I can't. She stubborn, but gets distracted easily, so I try to make her smile. I tell her to go the the counselor, but she said that counselors don't really help, they just tell her to solve her own problems. I always have to be careful around her, for I'm not sure when I'll say something that will offend her deeply when it wouldn't matter to other people. She makes my life complicated, but I feel horrible and selfish when i just ignore her. I want to help her, I really do, but I don't want her to get in the way of my growth.
2006-10-19 06:54:35 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Your friend sounds like me! And I know that it can be like a pit of despair when help seems out of reach. The help she needs may come from someone specialised, but maybe she doesn't have enough resources to find that help, and maybe the only one she sees as being helpful is you!
You're being a good friend--you're there for her and you seem to care a great deal! But, as I've known in my experience, there are some things that you may not be able to help with. And there are times when you can't be right there. But knowing this and feeling how you do about what she makes you feel, that's not selfish! And it's good that you don't resent her for how she acts!
It's hard to say what you can do, because she may not agree to any suggestions. Maybe not in her down moods, at least. You might want to talk about her getting help when she's in a better mood, and agreeable to more things (if you haven't tried already). She might need to look in other places. School, public organizations...booklets in a doctor's office. But there comes a time when, if help isn't coming to her, she'll have to keep reaching out for some.
And the process of getting better over time, that's something she'll have to help herself with, as well as maybe getting a gentle push from caring people. You just keep being the good friend that you are. I commend you, because it looks like you're not rushing her to "be happy" or anything.
I hope this helps you some.
2006-10-19 07:35:59 · answer #1 · answered by Jasmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is a Drama queen, she has to have every thing is a whirlwind around her, and my reasoning behind that is her answer to you the counsellors say she has to solve her own problems. They are right, but she is not going to as that requires her to be responsible, and you cant complain about your own decisions, As to your way of dealing with her, if you can keep telling her you are not a life skills coach and do not want to take the responsibility away from her. Or tell her the truth she is dragging you down with her negativity and you need space to grow on your own
2006-10-19 14:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wants you to solve her problems for her. Would be a drain to anybody. If she doesn't take your advice, like going to a counselor, then there's not much you can do. I wouldn't cut off the friendship, sounds like she needs support. Maybe she's moody and gets upset easily because she is depressed?? Then make her see somebody, just go with her.
2006-10-19 14:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋