Is it normal to worry about your relationship when involved in a "threesome"?

Question

We have had one before and I think she was more into my hubby than into both of us. So now we are talking about doing it again and the thought of last time is in the back of my mind. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and still very much in love and are very happy. But is it normal to worry about her trying to "steal" him. And yes I do want to do this Its just that he is MY HUSBAND. Is it wrong to be that way. I am sorry if this makes no sense I just am trying to get my thoughts out and I really dont have anyone I can talk to about any of this.

for those of you who said do it with a differnt girl this time, it is a differnt one. I guess I feel this way is because of last time and not everyone is the same as that head case.and I don't have anything else to compare how I feel. We do have a strong relationship and when we did the 3some before it made our relationship closer and stronger.

Answer 1

Wow...I once heard a question asked of a rock stars wife.."how do you keep him from cheating?" Her response was "I make sure I am the only one to give him a bj in the morning and one at night, its just reduces the urge". Now how does this relate to you? It sounds like you have a very open and good relationship to be able to do this. He would be a fool to lose you. He has no reason to cheat. Just make sure you are the first one with the BJ every day. Don't give him a reason to leave. Good luck, and by the way, would you call my wife and tell her its ok to have a 3 some. She doesn't believe me for some reason.

Answer 2

Threesomes are not designed well for jealous people. From my experience once the session was over I always wanted the third person to disapear. This is the big problem when you have a threesome with a loved one.

You are always better off with three totally not conected parties.

However if you must you have to set some distinct ground rules.
1.You must remain in control, you need to tell the woman how you want things to play out,
2. If your worried the third person is too pretty for your husband as he might like her more than you. Find someone less attractive to your husband.
3. find a woman that has just as much to lose as you do.
4. Don't do this unless you are totally comfortable with the situation, and remember you can call it off at any time.
5. use protection
6. be discreet

Answer 3

Oh for God's sake. I'm always in a quandary here when people say that he loves me, I love him yet you have a third party come into the relationship, become involved in one of the most intimate acts that can take place between a couple and then fret because you think she's trying to steal him away.

I mean...is it me? Am I the only guy that thinks this way? Look...sweetie. If you're into other women and the bi scene or the threesome scene is for you....fine and more power to you. I hold nothing against anyone for that. But....just as if you like tobacco and while filling your car with gas you decide to light one up...it may not blow up in your face today...but you do so knowing full well the risks that are involved.

Answer 4

There is a reason for the saying two is company, and three is a crowd, You know this and do not want to be the odd person out, Of course I would worry, about this. Unless this a polygamy marriage, and you accept the beliefs, then you are being used by some one that has no respect for you. I have heard all the arguments for this. Perhaps you should ask you husband this time if you guys get anew partner then get another man, and see how he reacts, perhaps he will agree, but I doubt it

Answer 5

Let me see if I got this right. You are married. You want to invite another woman to share your husband with you for some fun and you are wondering if you should be worried?

To a lot of guys it is a dream come true. To a lot of wives they have a dual problem, what if (as you are concerned) the other girl tries to steal your guy, and what if (which you haven't address but many women would) the other girl gets uncomfortably friendly with you (wherein the husband worries that the other girl is going to steal his wife away).

But with the thought in mind that you want to, I would be worried more about things like catching a disease or wondering how to recruit such a participant without facing the rejection from girlfriends who say, "You want me to do WHAT?"

I was really close to two women when I last married. I wish polygamy were legal and I'd have taken both. But even if I got both together in order for them to be agreeable they would both have to be in the horny stage of their monthly cycles and I must have done something really good, no fantastically great, to deserve such a concession. I envy your husband. Have fun.

Answer 6

Look what you are doing is against all the laws of nature and the "biblical" laws that "God" gave us. If you continue these "so called" threesome relationships you are not only going to lose your husband, but you are going to go through so much hurt and pain it will be unbelievable. The best thing to do is to not even go down this road again. As you can see it is already starting to affect you. Yes what this other lady is doing in a very direct way is to take your husband. The signs are all there. Look at them and pay attention to them. If you allow this type of behavior to happen again sooner or later your marriage and 14 years of your life will be down the drain. Trust me I have seen these type of things go on before with other couples and all they do is end up in a lot of hurt and misery. It is not even normal for anyone to share their spouse with anyone else. Spouses are supposed to be just for each other, not no threesome. I understand it is your husband, and you should protect your territory and never and I mean never go down this road again.

Answer 7

I had some good friends that were into this kind of thing and it always always always ended up bad. One thing you really should remember in this situation is that once you invite someone into your bed they feel entitled to everything that goes with it. Every single one of my friends that did this ended up divorced b/c the other woman decided she wanted the husband (well in case she wanted the wife!) The lines about what was acceptable had become blurred and it was a huge mess. Married people really should just stay away from this situation because marriage (and the sex in it) should just be between the two of them.

Answer 8

This is not a normal relationship, you have every right to worry, not too many marriages like this makes it, some one gets hurt. Have you been for counseling? it may be a good advice for the both of you, to at least think about it! If you do not want to do it, talk to your husband, tell him you are uncomfortable doing this.

Answer 9

When you agreed on the threesome..did you really think it through? How were things after? You are mixed up right now....why not a threesome with 2 guys? Something different and see if he likes it! You dont sound secure enough to be entering into the land of swinging..well kind of swinging...if you dont want to do it then dont! What's her situation the other woman i mean? She might just dig your husband for sexual pleasure not that she wants him full time.....either accept it or dont do it....

Answer 10

I could never do that, how could you let another woman touch your husband intimately and bring him pleasure. Gross. I am sorry, but I couldn't be a part of that. But since you have already done it, and apparently like it; but then you say he is YOUR HUSBAND. That's right, he is, but he won't be for long, if you keep up the threesome. When you got married, did the preacher say, do you take her and whoever else? Didn't think so. A marriage is between two people and when they have sex or make love, whichever you call it, it should be kept between them. You are treading in dangerous waters.