What are my friend's bf rights?

Question

So, my friend's boyfriend could possibly have fathered a child with his ex. His ex was always telling him that she was pregnant and then she would have a miscarriage. Before they broke up for the last time she told him again that she was pregnant, then a couple days later she wasn't anymore. Then she calls him telling him that she had a baby and that it was his. She expects money from him to support the child. I understand that if he is the father then he most definitely will have to take responsibility. But he hasn't been able to see this kid and hasn't had a DNA test to actually prove it. Both my friend and I are suspicious as to whether there really is a kid. What would be his rights? Would it be wise for him to call an attorney and find out?

Answer 1

He definatly needs to speak with an attorney. From there he will more than likely need to file a petition for paternity. The court will order a DNA test to be taken at a local government office by the child and the supposed father. This order forces the mother to produce the child or else be held in default of the court order. If the paternity test comes back positive then the mother will more than likely file for a support order to get monthly child support from him. As states differ, if he comes back not being the father, all that will happen is that he is not required to pay monthly maintenance for the child and will possibly (very unlikely though) be reimbursed for his court costs and attorney's fees.

Oh, also the petitioner - your friend's boyfriend - will have to pay for the paternity test as he is petitioning for it. More than usual the test costs anywhere from $175 to $300.


Best of luck to your friend. I hope justice prevails for him.

Answer 2

As the father of the child he certainly has the right to see the birth certificate, know the date of birth, this way he can calculate if the timing coincides with what the ex is telling him.

You don't mention the timeline this is why I am suggesting also that he asks where the child was born and as a father he has the right to know, the date and hour of birth. You don't even mention if its a boy or girl, it was unfair of the ex to exclude him during pregnancy and all this mystery could have been avoided.

You and your friend are right in being suspicious being a parent is a great responsibility, if the ex expects to receive child support from whom she claims is the father then she has no choice but to provide the proof that there is a child and that he is the father.

I all sounds like entrapment to me otherwise, a 1/2 hour legal couneling session will tell him what steps he needs to take to get to the bottom of this claim. I wouldn't just take her word for it.

Even if your friend's bf doesn't have a job and can't afford more than the minimal child support the mother cannot keep this child from its natural biologica father unless stated in a court order.

Answer 3

I'm not an attorney, but I do know this... If he has a baby needs to find out!

Would it be possible for him to check the County's Health Department and find out if the ex gave birth? Access to records today is much stricter but this would be the easiest way to find out at least if the ex gave birth.

If this is not helpful, then he should contact an attorney and figure out his rights and what steps he should take to protect himself. Depending on his State, he may be responsible for back child support and medical expenses back to the date of the child's birth. If he can't afford an attorney, he can contact the local bar association or legal aid society to find a pro bono attorney. If it becomes a court matter, the Court may appoint a public defender for him (that decision is up to the Court). BUT HE SHOULD DEFINITELY CONTACT AN ATTORNEY.

Obviously he should demand paternity (DNA) testing just to make sure. In Indiana paternity testing through the Title-IVD Court (child support) is very inexpensive. Your state may have a similar court. Independent paternity testing is very expensive. I believe that he should obtain testing in conjunction with a court action - that way everything is official. If he's the father, everything should be through the Court anyway.

If he is the father, then he has parenting time/visitation unless the court determines parenting time/visitation is restricted or supervised. Indiana has Parenting Time Guidelines which set forth appropriate parenting time/visitation for the non-custodial parent based on the age of the child. (These can be modified by the Court or agreement of the parties.) If his parenting time/visitation is unreasonably restricted or denied, the offending party will get in trouble with the court.

In Indiana child support is set according the Indiana Child Support Guidelines. Again, your state may have something similar. (Child support can be modified by the parties or the Court depending on the circumstances.)

So, your boyfriend should pursue his rights and if he fails to act timely, then he may waive certain rights and remedies for reason of the expiration of the applicable time limitations.

GOOD LUCK :)

Answer 4

He should get an attorney or write her a certified letter saying that in order for him to pay child support, paternity needs to be established. If he wants to pursue things, then by all means go to the courts, and have them take a DNA test, but in my state, if he is not the father he is out the court costs and test results. I would leave it up to her to pursue the court and DNA testing if she really wants the money. If she doesn't really have a kid, then she should stop manupulating him.

Answer 5

Obviously he should not pay child support until it is court ordered. If she takes him to court for support they will order a DNA test and that will clear the whole thing up. If he is that concerned about it he can talk to a lawyer or call her and demand a DNA test. Be sure to keep a log of requests to her for visitation and tests as well as her responses (may be handy in court).

DO NOT pay a dime until ordered!!!!

Tom makes an excellent point too... there have been cases of men paying child support for a couple of years, then finding out through DNA that the kid wasn't theirs and being ORDERED to CONTINUE paying FOR A KID THAT WAS NOT THEIRS. Do not set a precedent!

And, um... if he kept knocking her up WHY DIDN'T HE USE PROTECTION AFTER THE FIRST "ACCIDENT"? Sounds like sort of a lamebrain to me.

Answer 6

He should definitely speak to a lawyer and look into getting a paternity test. In the meantime he should pay her nothing at all, as paying for the child has been taken by courts as accepting responsibility for it until it is grown.

Answer 7

He should consult an attorney, compel a paternity test to determine if he is the father. If he is, he is legally bound to financially support the child and the mother cannot legally prevent him from seeing his child (without cause, such as convicted molestation of the child or other proven abuse). If he is not... well you know the rest...

Answer 8

I would be more concerned for your friend at this point than her boyfriend. You said that his ex was "always telling him that she was pregnant" so he was involved with and continued to have sex with a mentally unstable and extremely manipulative woman who continues to make his life miserable even though he's with your friend now. Has this guy learned anything from this past "relationship". If not, your friend might want to move on to a guy who's not so eager to stay in dysfunctional relationships and then drag the mess with him into the next relationship.

Answer 9

Get an attorney. Have a paternity test. Then deal with the results.

Answer 10

Your bf's ex would have to go to court and submit DNA proof that he is the father in order for him to be forced to pay child support...

If your bf does not think it is his child, then I would not pay child support unless ordered by a court...

It might be possible that if he starts paying then he could be forced to continue to pay.