How can i beat my depression & unhappiness?

Question

My guy & i hv been 2gether for 1yr 1/2, things were good, until recently he brings me down, makes me feel i am not smart enough, good enough, calls me a liar,calls me names,likes to test me and get me upset or angry, won't tell his family or his friends about me.keeps me hidden, never took me to his place cause people might see me. I hv to be careful with what i say and how i say it because he throws comments or situations at me.We dont go out only to my place, and at my place we always stay in our room or we go grab a bite to eat. He is seperated not divorced. I am so stressed & I hv changed dramatically and it has affected my kids and my homelife as well as it has chaged me. Makes me feel i am only good enough to bed. I am an attractive woman with a good job & 2 grown kids. He blames his actions on his illness which is Graves Disease. I feel like i have lost myself

Answer 1

First, find out about Graves Disease

Second, look at your wants and needs

Third, consider dropping some of those needs (and it may include dropping him)

Answer 2

Wow. That's a hard situation. I'm sorry you're going through that!

If you read over your question, you might see the answer. You are in an abusive relationship with someone who holds you in contempt. That is not likely to change, as he shows no interest in it.

Graves Disease is no excuse for his treatment of you - and he is using his illness as an excuse to abuse you. He does it because... he can. You put up with it. He get to be the one with all the power, while you accept whatever treatment he feels like giving you. Here is what you know:

> he tells you you aren't smart enough or good enough
> he plays mind games
> he hides your relationship
> he uses you for sex, but won't be seen with you
> he's still married (which is probably why he has to hide you -- he may not be as "separated" as he wants you to think, which may be why he won't tell his family or friends)
> He makes you feel unworthy, unloved
> this relationship is harming your relationship with your kids, and yourself.

Look down the road five or ten years - is this what you want? It's not going to change, unless you change it, because you are the only person in this relationship you have any control over. It doesn't have to be this way. You can leave. You're not responsible for him, or his choices - only your own.

What is more important to you - your self-respect and relationship with yourself, your kids, and the world, or him? You deserve your place in the sun, walking with your head held high, and he wants to keep you in the shadows, with your head low. It's not up to him, however, it's up to you - your choice.

If you tell him to leave you alone, call the police if he shows up again, because he's already abusive. It might be time to visit one of your grown kids while you get your head together. Good luck!

Answer 3

Could be Graves Disease, but it shouldln't be dismissed. If he's seeking treatment, be sure that he takes up these issues with his doctor and tries to get the mood swings under control. Just because he has a medical issue, doesn't mean it has to ruin your life. If he's blaming the disease, make him do something about it. If he refuses to seek any treatment for his mood disorders, it may be time to think about splitting up.Meanwhile, turn off the news and pick up some uplifting, humorous books to keep your mood up. See this site i found for Graves Disease:

Answer 4

The best thing that i would perscribe for you is see a phycologist, there is nothing wrong with that. It can help you relieve some of the stree, you can also tell him how you feel. You dont have to dawn it on him hard just enough so that he could understand. And if you feel that you are that unhappy then you can always get out of that type of relationship.

Answer 5

You need to MOVE ON. It's not easy, but your -- and your kids' -- happiness is worth it. Get professional help -- I have -- and my therapist has helped me immensely with my breakup, although I am still taking it one day at a time.

I like what Lanani said -- what would you tell a friend who was in your situation?

Remember, you were ok before this guy came along. You don't deserve to be treated this way. You deserve someone that loves you the same way that you love them -- NOTHING LESS.

Answer 6

I honestly have studied rigidity for 2 many years now and characteristic lots understanding in this sickness. at the beginning you may desire to comprehend having rigidity and or panic assaults is the two from a chemical imbalance or the way you think of. that's a query that's advisable to ask your self till now going to the psychiatrist. Am I stable adequate to recover from this without help? in case you're uncertain right this is what i could propose. pass to your interior reach library or e book place and purchase books in this sickness my popular is (Lucenda Bassett) and make this your daily recurring of reading and doing via fact the books ask you. they provide you propose on a thank you to beat or i will assert tolarate those indications. It takes time and quite some braveness and in case you're able to try this on my own and that i propose remark to this generally going on like it is your Bible: you will start to make certain a various you. specific, there will be days once you're saying no no no i'm no longer likely to stroll outdoors or do despite the fact that makes you nerve-racking yet "DO IT" on account that's once you're conscious of it extremely starts off to grow to be a "certainty" which you would be able to triumph over this sickness or tolerate it adequate to stay everyday. i in my view wish this facilitates.

Answer 7

I really think you need to think about yourself for once and how he makes you feel. You are better than that and you don't need to let a man like that bring you down. Please run and get the hell away from this man before he gets your self esteem any lower! I wish you the best of luck in making the right decision. Trust me hon this is not at all normal relationship issues.

Answer 8

It sounds like you know you should leave him but are unwilling to do so-- maybe because staying with him seems comfortable and familiar?

But really, think about it this way. If one of your girlfriends approached you with this, what would you tell her to do? The answer should be clear. It's hard to be objective about a relationship you're currently in the midst of.

Obviously you are miserable, and obviously he is wrong for you. It's up to you to summon the strength to leave him behind.

Answer 9

Realize this>>> you DO deserve, need, want a better/happier life... the situation you're in now is dragging you down, down, down... into misery & despair.
Get out of that situation before it drags you all the way to the bottom.
Go get yourself a better/happier life... GBU

Answer 10

how old are you?the only thing you can do is let him go #1 if he hasn't got a divorce yet he haven't committed to you and if he has you with low self esteem he don't think much about you anyway.You deserve better than that.Kick his sorry *** to the curb and get you a real man!

Answer 11

aww sweetie this breaks my heart to know that you have to be put throught this!!! You are to good to be with someone who treats you like a dog!!! Have class sweetheart and find a man that deserves you!!! I wish you the best of luck!!! Youre in my prayers!!! What comes around goes around and he'll get whats coming to him for doing this to you!!! Leave him girl you can do it!!!