i have been married for almost 5 years. Im very unhappy with him. We have 2 children. I want to be happy so I can be a better mom.
2006-10-19 04:34:15 · 20 answers · asked by lady bug 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell him...
he might just understand and help find out what makes you unhappy
2006-10-19 04:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by chastityelizabeth 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can still be a good Mom even though you are not happy. What is it about him that makes you any less a Mother? I was an unhappy Mom for a while when I was married, so I got divorced. I did find out a little more about myself and I did grow as a person. Which helped my kids to see that you don't have to stay in an unhappy place. You are in control of your own destiny. They have also been thru allot of things because of this choice. Everything is a trade off, so be sure that this is what you really want before you take the steps to end this marriage. If he is abusive or does drugs then absolutely, without a doubt leave.
2006-10-19 04:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by skipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well , what seems to be the problem, why are you so unhappy? I have been married for 4 yrs and I also , from time to time felt very unhappy with him and wanted to leave , but now we are both going to church and working things out, trough god, he united you'll for a reason, and if you really want to save your marriage you would work things out, you never know until you try , at the end you might end up loving him even more, if all fails and if he also wants a divorce then do it but don't just give up , you still love him and I'm sure he still loves you , y'all just need to give your marriage some attention.
2006-10-19 04:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by eliza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is file for custody of your children and get a good family lawyer. Then file for divorce. Make sure you explain the situation honestly to your children. They may be hurt, but I think they will be happier if you are happy. Whatever you do, make sure their father is always a part of their lives. Kids need both of their parents. My dad kept my mother from me my whole life, because he thought it was best. I am 22 and my mother and I and the whole other half of my family are still trying to recover emotionally. I have also been with my fiance for 5 years and am currently unhappy. I am pregnant with his second child and am in a similar situation... but I know so many people who stay together for the kids, and it makes them miserable. I am not going to be one of those people and I would suggesst that you don't either.
2006-10-19 05:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't give any details as to why you are unhappy. Either divorce him so you both have a chance to be with someone who loves you or you love. Or communicate with him to let him know how you feel. Married couples that are having problems usually don't communicate with each other enough, of don't know how to effectively communicate. It is sooooooo important. You may also want to try therapy. You need to do whatever it takes to make sure your kids are taken care of and grow up in the right environment.
2006-10-19 04:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an internal decision for you. You need to really think this thru & if deciding to leave have some financial stability. You need to have money set aside to enable you to care for you & your children. Most men don't help out when the wife leaves, which causes her to sometimes feel she needs to return just to get by. You have to get to the bottom of why you are unhappy, but still love him. There is always marriage counseling to bring things out in the open with an unbiased professional to help sort things thru. Good luck & if it can work...believe me your children will be much better of with a mom & dad that are together. Sometimes we feel our spouse is responsible for our unhappiness, when alot of times we need to just work on ourselves & be responsible for creating our own happiness. If he is abusive, etc. then of course he will be the cause, if not then you both need to work on making your home a wonderful place to be.
2006-10-19 04:43:01 · answer #6 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandpa use to say "Happy? Who the fuchk is happy?"
The point is, you're married for life. For better or for worse. And I think the "so I can be a better mom" comment is just an excuse in advance for not following through with your commitment.
Don't break up your family because of some perceived unhappiness. Don't forget, pain and suffering are inevitable, misery is optional.
Good luck to you.....
2006-10-19 04:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one or thing can MAKE you happy.
Its your choice to be happy or not.
You are unhappy because you choose to be.
My wife does things that DON'T make me happy all the time and I brush it off so that I am happy.
My happiness is not her responsibility and her's is not mine.
Being a good parent is being a leader to your children. Show them the strength of over coming adversity. Teach them to be independent and not a slave to their peers. Happiness is NOT a gift given to them, but is in them.
P.S.
What is it that makes you unhappy with your husband?
Is it because he doesn't make you happy?
People only have the power you give them. I can't upset you unless you let me. And your husband can't make you happy unless you let him. You are your own worst enemy to happiness.
If you want to talk more feel free to contact me.
BTW - I'm short, fat and ugly
2006-10-19 05:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does you husband know how you feel? Maybe he has nothing to do with your unhappiness. Is it possible you are overwhelmed with all you have to do and care for, and are a little depressed. Please try counseling, both alone for your emotional health and together for your marriage. The children will be affected by a divorce. I know you will consider their welfare in your decisions. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-19 04:40:21 · answer #9 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling? That should maybe be the first step, before you finalize a marriage.
It is true that we need to be happy, we ned to love ourselves before we can to others. And I do understand your not happy.
That's why you should try counseling first. You may be suffering from a depression that can be worked out with couseling or meds. You could also be suffering from the Baby Blues, even if you didn't just recently have a baby.
Try working on yourself first, befopre trying to move on. In counseling, you may learn that YOu DO need to GET RID of the hubby.
2006-10-19 04:39:27 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you able to talk to your husband? can you convince him to go for counseling? If you have tried all of that and you think the only way for you to have happiness is to be by your self, with your children, You have to put your self in another frame of mind, to tell yourself that you have done everything possible, and that for you to have happiness and peace of mind, you have to move on with your life. Ask God to give you the strength, and the courage to make a better life for you, and your children! Say this prayer every day!
2006-10-19 04:46:44 · answer #11 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋