my hubbie works 14 hour days 6 days a week help?

Question

hi again just thought id ask as i asked an hour ago about having another child my hub works 14 hour days 6 days a week and im a sahm and i gets v trying as sunday his day off he is always on the phone to work or something as happened at work when its suppose to be our family day we have a 2 1/2 old and there seems no us time and i have tried talking to him but as he owns the business with a friend he says he is doing this now and it will be like this for a few years and then he will only have to work 4 days a week but im worried that if that happens there may be no US for him to spend time with in a few years time please give me your advice others have told him to spend more time with us eg mom dad brother but hes a workaholic and we me and our daughter miss him like mad hes out before she gets up and back about 1/2 hour before she goes to bed she now thinks daddy lives at work and comes to visit us on the evenings which i have told her is wrong but shes 2 1/2 she doesnt understand!!!!

Answer 1

Tell him that no person ever in the history of the world has ever said on their death bed, "Man, I sure wish I would have spent more time at work!" I hope he gets the message. I wouldn't recommend another child if you think there won't be a marriage in the future. Good luck, honey.

Answer 2

You need to look at what your options are. Should you support your husband in the business which could provide a great lifestyle for you and the child? Are you needs heavier on the side of family life? Are you strong enough to be alone? Your 2 1/2 year old can not miss what she has never experienced (ie: daddy not being around) but obviously you do and you need to focus on that point. Another child is just crazy when you have so much of your life to sort out. Who are you and what do you need? Answer those questions to yourself and plan your life around those answers. You are a lot stronger and smarter than you realize and all you have to do is what is right for you and find solutions that meet your needs. Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds like my life except my husband has no choice, he's an Army recruiter. But he does work 14+ hrs a day and 6 days a week. I've stuck beside him though, even when I hate it. My kids see him for about 30 minutes before school Mon.- Fri., by the time he gets home, they're asleep, so they get time with him on Sunday because he works on Saturday. Point to that whole spill is that he has NO choice. Yours does have a choice. Starting a business is hard work but keeping your family is a whole lot harder. I suggest you get on him about it and quick but no fighting. Try to compromise, tell him that atleast 1 day a week he is home by dinner or earlier and atleast 2 Saturdays he is home all day and Sundays always home. Your daughter is at the age where she needs her daddy. She already thinks he doesn't live there which is sad enough, he needs to see just how sad it is. When he is home flat out turn the phones off, take the batteries out the cell phones if you have to but make sure they can't ring. Drag his butt out of the house if you need to. Believe me, I've had to do all that. I get tired of people from his job calling him because they can't find a key or just need to tell him something stupid about their day. Guess what, he is on my time come Sunday so unless it's an emergency (someone died) then don't call or come over. My husband has lost a lot and had to miss out on a lot with our kids, yours is too but he has a choice. Be at home early and not lose with his or go to work and lose it all. You just have to make him see your point. You already see his.

Answer 4

if he has a good heart, stick in there with him. look towards a more positive future. you are focused on the negative. do you know how many people wished their spouse just had a job, or a good job. Do you know how many people are in abusive situations. Find some interests of your own and he'll come around. when he sees that you're involved in something else and not always around to answer the phone, he'll want to know what's going on. when he asks, tell him you're occupying yourself with other interests. It may sound bad but it does work.

If you are more direct then just have a talk with him. I doubt it will work because all workaholics think work is not the problem, that's why you're having a problem now.

Hang in there and don't give up on him.

Answer 5

He probably has the best intentions for you and your family, he is working to get to a point and I know that it is hard because my husband works out of town alot and he has probably all together spent 2 months with our 8 month old. But he is working for us and to make things better than they are now and I know that, but when he is home make it our time. Turn the cell phone off the messages will be there later and you can get them when I am in the restroom or taking a shower. Tell him what your child says and gently explain to him that it may just be one day but it is the only day you and your have with him and that it is extremely important that he take the time to spend with you and your kid because its the only way you are going to make it through the next two years.

Answer 6

If he is a partner in the business you need to support him in any way you can. Take you child to his work and meet him for lunch. Go by there often with your child. There may be times he is busy and can't see you, don't get discouraged, come back later. It seems like you are not helping him in every way you can. He is probably stressed out about it as much as you are, but he is looking at all of your futures to be financially secure. That is not just his job but yours as well, support, support, support. He could be staying out at the bars until 1/2 hour before she goes to bed, count your blessings.

Answer 7

You are lucky your husband has a job. Suck it up. Adjust your schedule a little. As for your daughter,. Maybe two days a week you can go to your husband's work and hav a 30 minute lunch with him and he and his little girl can play, etc.

Seriously, you should be thanking him for working so hard. Not whining. Sorry, but you're not pulling your weight if you are complaining about him working to start a business. Perhaps if you went out and secured a full time position, he might not be apt to work so much.

Find yourself a hobby besides the computer and maybe you won't feel so alone.

Answer 8

My husband worked and worked while my sons were small. But only in the beginning. I threatened to divorce him. He is now in management now. Still long hours but the kids are older. Your husband has to do this now. Make sure he tells your daughter every time he's with her, "daddy is here now. That's what matters." Be patient.

Answer 9

What you need to be doing is being proud of your husband. There are not too many men out there that work that hard to take care of his family. I would be patient and just support him in these years untuil he can just go to work for just 4 hours and then just chill the rest of the day. hang in there girl, and just support him. Just remember "behind every good man is a good woman". Just think with your support you are helping him acheive too.

Answer 10

working can become obsessive, and if he makes good money it will be hard to stop him from working as much as he does. I would suggest you postpone having another child unless you just need more company while your husbands at work...check your feelings towards this mairrage as well before doing something you may regret later... good luck - and if it makes you feel any better - just be happy he works - so many jerks out there that would expect you to take care of him..so see its not all bad...lol