My wife an i have been separated now for 61 days, the separation occurred because i yelled and cursed about her daughter. I spoke too her abut 3 weeks ago and she told me how much she hates me. Then this last friday we spoke and she listened, but she e-mailed saying she won't be meeting me tonight for a marriage counseling appointment. She has moved out and filed annullment papers, and she asked the only way to communicate is through e-mail. What should i make of this and what should i do next?
2006-10-19 04:31:46 · 12 answers · asked by john d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel your pain, having gone through the same thing 2 years ago.
I had moved to another city to put her closer to her friends and family. 5 months later, she decided she didn't want it anymore, and moved out.
The best advice- move on. Its not worth the effort and energy you will expend to try and make her love you. Its hard to do, but its the best thing.
I got a new job and moved away from her, and have been happy since. It is hard though. Very hard. Be strong.
2006-10-19 04:35:04 · answer #1 · answered by wvucountryroads 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly - you should know one thing - your separation did not occur because you yelled and cursed about your wife's daughter. This was probably the catalyst - the straw that broke the camel's back. There must have been other problems - that may or may not have been addressed when they should have been. As a woman - I can tell you that if your wife has cancelled on a marriage counselling appointment - then she has no intentions of trying to reconcile with you. If she is asking that you only contact her via email - then that is what you should do. Your next step is to seek legal advice regarding divorce and settlement. Don't let it get ugly - keep your dignity and self esteem intact by remaining calm and thinking rationally - if you can. But make no mistake - it's over.
2006-10-19 11:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have any children with her then I would leave her. You obviously have too many issues with each other to make a sucessful marriage. Blended families are very difficult to maintain and you have demostrated that you don't have the patience to deal with her daughter.
Get out, get some counseling and take soem tiem off before you find another girl. Probably you should only date women with NO children.
Check out the following website. It acn help you with this situation.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good Luck
2006-10-19 11:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should see it as her taking her parenting seriously. The lady did the right thing by leaving the marriage. You should never of married her if you didn't like the child, it was a packaged deal.No child should be yelled at and cursed by anyone, you'll know that when you have your own children.You should just bow out and thank God you don't have to be around a child that you don't like.
2006-10-19 11:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did she move out with the kids?
There is got to be more to this story about you fighting over your daughter. something else was not addressed by you to her and after 2 month she sound like she has had it.
If I was in this position I started to ask some question about why she is doing this? what issue was left unanswered.
2006-10-19 11:48:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can't work on the marrage well I guess you will have to get lawyer and go through a divorce. I guarantee your heart will break. I guarantee you will have mood swings. I guarantee you will recover from all the hardship and will find someone new that you can love for the rest of your life.
2006-10-19 11:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT COMMUNICATE THROUGH EMAIL OR ANY OTHER RECORDABLE EVENT. It sounds like she is using this as an excuse to be out of the relationship. If so, she might try and use this communication to build her "case". Becareful man, be very careful about electronic communication.
P.S. Sorry you are going through this..
2006-10-19 12:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by JD34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this wasnt ment to be. Im sorry for your loss, if yelling is what caused it I question how strong it was to begin with. Live life everyday and you will find happiness again. Good Luck
2006-10-19 11:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough stuff. unfortunately she doesn't seem very willing to make amends, or even to try and work things out. email is very impersonal for a married couple. maybe you should just ask her point blank if she is going to commit to saving your marriage or not, that way you can move on.
2006-10-19 11:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by moluvsmark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have brought her kid into it. That is a battle the step parent would always lose! Give it up, she hates you and has made up her mind. You need to learn to controll your mouth when your angry.
2006-10-19 11:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋