My Fiancé Broke off the Engagement?

Question

My fiancé just broke off the engagement about 3 weeks ago. I’m very hurt at the moment and don’t know what to do. He broke it off because he felt like he and I did not want the same thing in life. I know that he loves me very much, but I just want him back. Is very embarrassing because we have not told everyone, so when people ask me how are the wedding plans going I have to lie and say great. To others we are together, since only he and I know is done. I don’t know what to do, I’ve spoken to him and tried to make sense about us, but he wants nothing to do with me. Please Help!!!

Answer 1

if he wants nothing to do with you he wasn't in love with you enough to be with you. It is time for you to tell everyone that the wedding is off. Try to explain it in a way that it looks like a mutual decision to break it off. If you start bashing him it will make people think that you are the reason the plans are off. It sounds like he has some growing up to do if he thinks that being a couple means being a mirror of each other. Having common goals is a good thing but not being able to sit down and rationally discuss problems would be a huge problem in a marriage. It is going to be very tough for you but you have to return the ring and get on with your life and someday you will find someone that you can talk to about anything and who has similar goals not exactly the same ones.

Answer 2

The period of Engagement is a time when a couple spend time planning a wedding and thinking about their marriage.

Your fiance called it off because he decided that you two did not want the same things in life and this would cause trouble later. It is better to find that out now rather than later.

When people ask how things are going, just say that you have decided to postpone the wedding and you would rather not talk about it right now.

I think the truth is at the end of your question - he wants nothing to do with you. I'm sorry, I know it is sad and it hurts, but it really is better to find this out now, rather than after you are married.

Look around at all the unhappy marriages in the world, wouldn't it have been better for all of them to have had second thoughts BEFORE the wedding, instead of causing all the chaos of broken homes, children feeling torn between one parent and another, divorces, partners cheating on each other, anger between families, not to mention the financial cost of Separation & Divorce.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Not to sound like a complete jerk, but there are a few factors in this story that stick out like sore thumbs with me. First of all, why would you be TRYING to have a child with somebody that you already have what sounds like an unstable relationship with? You said you split up before, only to get back together. Do you honestly think that having a child with her is going to stablize your relationship? Second, why would you be TRYING to have a child with a woman that you're not married to? I realize you two were engaged, but what's the rush to have a child anyway? I don't understand why marriage is an afterthought these days with people who live together and have kids together. And third......if she already has a child from a previous relationship, and now says she found somebody new to have another child with, does this REALLY sound like marriage material to you? If your best friend told you that the chick he's been living with for the last year or two with the 5 year old kid wants to break up because she found somebody new to have another child with, what would you tell him? Chances are that deep down, those who truly care about you aren't going to be too upset over your break up with this woman. Especially your parents! I know it's tough my friend. Honestly I do. And NOTHING anybody says in here is going to make you feel any better. But hopefully in time you realize that despite whatever attachment you felt with this woman and her child, this is definitely for the best. Some of the biggest mistakes I have seen people make, is when they think that getting married or having children with the WRONG person is suddenly going to make everything right. Somewhere out there is a quality woman with values, morals, and a heck of a lot less baggage just waiting to meet somebody like you. You'll see.

Answer 4

Well you must accept the fact that it is over and you need to tell your fam and friends. They can help support you through this trying time. Your just adding more pressure onto yourself living the lie that all is well when it isn't. Don't be embarrassed...these things happen. I got married in 1998 in April....we separated forever only 3 months later. I was NOT embarrased at all. I was happy it was over quick and that I had not invested years and years into a meaningless relationship with THE biggest loser in the world. Keep ya head up girl!!

Answer 5

My god girl, phew , you are so very very lucky you didn't marry this guy.Think about it, you almost made such a commitment .And think about how hard this was for him also. Your lucky he didn't let the pressure cause him to go through with it and not really want to, what a mess that would have been. Really I'm sure it would have been the easier way for him , and he's done you a big favor. He could have wasted a lot of your life , now take this as a lesson learned and go find someone who deserves you.

Answer 6

Then you tell people that you had a discussion and felt things were not right and have decided to back off for a while

Answer 7

He obviously wants something to 'do' with you, as you are still together!
I would get my broken heart out of the guys hands and move on.

Answer 8

Okay, if he says you are through then you don't need to follow his rule about telling anyone. Speak out and allow friends and family to be there for you.

Answer 9

Then make it official. Tell everyone about it.