I've been married for almost 20 years, and our children are almost grown. I've been thinking alot about how life would be alone. I love my husband very much, and he is the best husband any woman could ask for, but I'm lacking desire---I don't know if I'm in love with him. So is life good after being married so long, or even a better ending, what can I do to fall back in love with him. Please give me some good advice.
2006-10-19 03:40:40 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married for 20 years myself, and I am confused about what you're asking. What do you mean by "alone"? You want to divorce so that you can spend time completely by yourself? You can do that married. Go to a movie by yourself, or take a book to the park, or just lock the door and take a long, quiet bath. I'm sure your husband won't try to barge in on you.
The other part that I find confusing is that you say both that he is the "best" husband, AND that you are not in love with him. If you can't be in love with the best, you can't be in love, period. It sounds like you're starting to deal with pre-empty nest syndrome, which means that you are coming up on a phase in your life to which you don't know how to adjust. Counseling would probably help you come up with a plan for your post-children life.
2006-10-19 03:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him and he still loves you DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT GET A DIVORCE. It will be the biggest mistake of your life. What you need to do is to start doing things that you and your husband planned on doing now. Go out to romantic dinners. Go dancing. I dont know what ages your children are or how trust worthy, but is there any chance that you could sneak off for a weekend w/o them. Start now on building the interests that will enlighten your marriage after the children are grown and gone.
2006-10-19 04:24:14 · answer #2 · answered by bettyswestbrook 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to us and start talking to your husband. When the kids are gone you two will have all the time in the world to re kindle the flame. What you are experiencing is normal. Both of you have had the kids as your priority for so long you have forgotten everything else. Take a vacation, just the two of you. Re visit the location of your marriage and honeymoon, its a great way to remind both of you why you have been together for the last 20 years.
2006-10-19 03:46:27 · answer #3 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if he dissapeared tomorow and you never saw him again? Talk to him maybe plan your future together of what happens when the kids are gone....what you can do together . 20 years is a long time to give up when maybe all is needed is a little tlc to your love for each other. And it always comes back down to the thing of communication...open your doors
2006-10-19 04:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋