I ask a question earlier and a mom said she didn't bond with her newborn right away, she said it took a few months to really bond with him. Just wondering how many other mothers have felt this? I feel like I have a bond already with my baby at 18 weeks. I was instantly bonded with my daughter when she was born, she is 7 now. Just wondering :-)
2006-10-19 03:18:21 · 19 answers · asked by momie_2bee 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I have 3 children:
My first it took 2 days.
My second it took 8 weeks.
My third it was instant (mind you she was born premmy and was in incubator for 1 month...looking so tiny, helpless and delicate its not possible to not feel a bond straight away).
2006-10-19 03:29:09 · answer #1 · answered by mildly_adiktiv 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it took me quite a while to bond with my daughter when she was born. I sort of felt like I was babysitting someone else's child for a while. Of course I loved her from the instant, but did not have this incredible bonding experience that others talk about. I just had my second child (a boy) 2 weeks ago and sort of feel the same with the only difference being that I am more relaxed this time since I know how to take care of a baby now. I was telling my husband the other day that in reality I would have made a fantastic surrogate mother.
2006-10-19 14:24:10 · answer #2 · answered by sooz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Every mother and father is different. Just like pregnancy.
I planned for all three of my children and was bonded to the idea before it even happened. I do however know not everyone has this experience. Others adjust and are wonderful parents others that never adjust and do stupid things we see on the news or never should of opened their legs in the first place! I wonder how the new Moses law is working? I think ill ask to see how everyone else feels about that. You asked a good questions. Blessings with your newborn and years to come.
2006-10-19 10:33:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was TERRIFIED of this issue because I wasn't attached to my belly at all, so I was scared I wouldn't be attached to the baby, either. I didn't feel the joy other preggo women felt, even though we wanted and tried for the baby. Even in the delivery room I was telling myself not to worry, that it may take time to develop a bond. Like a new pet, I told myself, it may take a while but eventually I will love it. Well, my boy popped out and looked into my eyes and I was DONE! COOKED! In love for LIFE!!!! It was instant. The bond has obviously grown with time, but I was smitten from second #1!!!!
My friend took 24 hours to realize her attachment. I think a few days is normal, but not more than that.
2006-10-19 10:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi! I believe that I was already bonded to my daughter before she was born. In fact I fell in love at my first ultrasound when I saw her little heartbeat and legs and arms waving at mommy! It was such a miracle and so beautiful. I was hooked from that day on. When she was born it was even stronger than that.
I am pregnant again with a second child and this one was completely unexpected. I wasn't too thrilled at first and still haven't really connected with it yet. But I have a hunch that all this will change when I have my first ultrasound in coming weeks. I guess it's different with everyone but in my experience its impossible not to feel bonded. When I first had Farah it was like she was an extension of my heart and body. I still feel this way.
2006-10-19 11:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think I felt closer to my first baby than I have been with the second, up until just recently. I was obviously able to spend alot more time alone with my oldest, and was just learning how to be a mom. The second time around, it feels more of a pain in the rear to have to deal with two kids, and sometimes I feel the little one gets the short end of the deal. Now that the baby is doing more than just lay around (now 6 months old), I feel that we are bonding more.
2006-10-19 10:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Stacy 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I felt very bonded to my daughter while I was pregnant with her. Once they placed her on my stomach however, I freaked. It took me about two days to bond with her. Since then we have been inseparable. She is 7 now.
This pregnancy, I don't feel as bonded. I'm sure that will change the further along I get. (Currently 17 weeks 5 days)
2006-10-19 11:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I felt somewhat bonded to both of my kids before they were even born and instantly afterward. But I had a friend who had a really trying pregnancy. She had several episodes of bleeding during the pregnancy when she thought she was going to miscarry but didn't. Then when the baby was born she wouldn't stop bleeding and they had to take her in for emergency surgery and we thought she was going to die. She loves her baby, but she did say that she felt like she didn't bond with this one as easily as she did her first two.
2006-10-19 10:30:25 · answer #8 · answered by kat 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I did feel the bond immediately when she was born. It has been really hard though considering that she has been pretty colicky and fussy/gassy and has reflux. Sometimes it's hard to feel that bond when your baby just screams and screams and you've tried everything to comfort them and absolutely nothing works. Eventually, I started feeling like maybe my baby didn't like me. Luckily, it's getting better every day now (she is 12 1/2 weeks old) and it makes me tear up from joy every time she gives me a full body smile and tries to laugh. I can't imagine life without her now!
2006-10-19 10:51:47 · answer #9 · answered by Julie F 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was instantly bonded with both of my children too, As soon as I held them for the first time, It just happened. I've watched TLC and some of their shows, And have listened to a lot of mothers that said they DIDN'T bond instantly with their newborns though. *shrug*
2006-10-19 10:21:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋