MY SISTER STARTED DTING THIS GUY AND FOUR MONTHS INTO THE REALATIONSHIP HE HIT HER !! sHE IS STILLWITH HIM & THEY MAD THREE BEAUTIFUL CHLDREN , I AM CONFUSED WHY CONTINUE TO STY IN THAT MESS CALLED LOVE WHEN YOUR GETTING ABUSED!!
2006-10-19 02:56:44 · 13 answers · asked by Tabby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Because you becaome adicted to the other person. It's an illness that usually is only cured by a shrink. I think is something like abuser's co-dependence.
I'm very sorry for your sister
2006-10-19 02:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by idontknowsquat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you and I would wouldn't stay, but there are a lot of people that do. I would say...low self esteem. I used to have low self esteem when I weighed a lot more. Now I lost weight. But when I had low self esteem I let people push me around a lot more, because I didn't feel good about myself. If she loves her kids, the best thing she could do is leave. It's obvious the guy needs counseling or some kind of help. If you have faith...God will help you no matter what decision you make.
P.S. Maybe she is scared to leave because she will loose everything. Tell her to file a police report the next time she gets beaten.
2006-10-19 03:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you can do is be there to support her. Even if you feel that she is not listening to you--some of it is sinking in. Give her information on help that is available to her and pray that soon she will gather the strength that she will need to leave. Abused women lose their self worth after years of being mistreated. The ones that are really helpless are the children. They will be scarred for life if this continues. Maybe playing on that will be what it takes to reach her. Does he abuse the children also? Child Protection Agency might also help her to make up her mind.
2006-10-19 03:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by Hallon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to explain. You can love a person and for some reason they can be twisted and make you think they reason they're abusive is because of something you've done. Your sister has lost her self-esteem and until she decides to get out, she'll stay. No matter what anyone else says, it's up to her and only her. I've been there so I know first hand how hard it is. It's like you feel owned by this person and you feel like you've been the one doing the wrong things and it's all your fault, even though it's not.
2006-10-19 02:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people stay due to fear of financial problems if they split up. Others due to fear that their partner may either hurt them or their kids. Still others are so afraid that they will be alone as they have been beaten down and told that nobody else would want them that they feel trapped. It's sad but true that a lot of women, and men too nowadays, are afraid to leave an abusive relationship.
2006-10-19 03:01:36 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women stay for many reasons, Love and the mistaken belief that we can change the abuser...if this has been a long term relationship, you mentioned children, then the abuser has had time to chip away at her self-esteem, and probably make her think that she does everything wrong and blames her for everything, until she can see for herself that he is not only physically abusing her but mentally also, you need to give her as much emotional support as you can, and help her find ways that she can eventually overcome this situation, until she realises what he is doing to her, she won't see it....patience and love...
on your part will help. It took me 6 years of a hellish marriage and nearly being killed to finally come to my senses, and realise that is wasn't my fault, my ex had no respect and he didn't like himself
and he was cheating on me, and in his guilt and anger, blamed me for everything, and I fell for it wanting to save a dead marriage, .If you love someone, you don't show it by beating up on them mentally or physically.
2006-10-19 03:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they have been brainwashed by their abusive partner into thinking that the abusive partner has complete control. And through that control they use fear to keep them from doing anything that they don't want to do. She is afraid. She knows what needs to be done but she is afraid for her life. She is afraid that if she leaves him, that he will kill her. You need to continue to be supporitve of her until she gets enough courage (hopefully before she's dead) to do what is necessary to leave him.
2006-10-19 03:29:10 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey tell your sistah she really needs 2 get out of that realationship dont ever let a man put his hands on you you be the boss of your house u better beat the hell out of him and think about heaven later youa strong women believe in yourself baby
2006-10-19 03:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it happens . people involve in such abusive relationship will get addicted to them(abuser). the abuser will create such a submissive mind to the other. u help ur sister to get out of it. if she wants to continue suggest her to consult a psychiatric. this will help to relax her mind and will get an idea abt how to deal with her husband
2006-10-19 03:42:29 · answer #9 · answered by hi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN !
What will happen to me if I leave , will he find and hurt me , or the kids ?
Would anyone else want me , I'm a looser .
Where could i go ?
There are many many reasons , none good enough but I've been there and they are real !
2006-10-19 03:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋