Back in the 90's I met a wonderful guy. Unfortunately I was engaged to be married within months. Anyway, we kept in contact, and then recently when I went back to reading his letters I realized that he had mentioned that he loved me and didn't want to offend me. But he would still sign love your best friend *** I love you. He also mentioned that when he was in the hospital I was all that he could think of. Anyway more details, but 2 make it short I am separated due to domestic violence and I started reading his mails and i realize i was getting butterflies and I went to search on internet found him. Well he came to my state to visit and after all these yrs we made love. It was wonderful but we are in different states so now what? did we ruin our 15 yr platonic friendship? we speak often and he always assures me that he loves me inspite of the distant thing. i love him too. we are adults by the way. what are we doing? yes he's in a relationship, she found love letters to me a few yrs ba
2006-10-19 02:47:23 · 11 answers · asked by nomorepblm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ruin the friendship? Was it ever truly a friendship? It sounds like it's always been more than friendship, at least for him. It sounds like remaining platonic (or shall I say "acting platonic") will ruin the friendship. Now it's him that needs to decide and he may not choose you. You need to decide how long you will hang around and wait for him. Give him 6 months to make his decision-her or you. If it's her, then move on and have sweet memories. If it's you, then it sounds like you have found true love!!
2006-10-19 02:54:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about the domestic violence. Is your friend married? Don't interfere if he is. Search your own heart and make sure your just not looking for someone you feel safe with. I've been in the domestic violence situation and found myself in relationships for all the wrong reasons. If he's not married then there are some decisions that need to be made. Regardless of what you do, somebody is going to get hurt. If he seems indecisive, you know he's not sure who he wants to be with. When you see him again, I would hold off on the sex. Sometimes that complicates things even more. No matter what the outcome, I wish you love, happiness and safety in your next relationship.
2006-10-19 03:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already in a relationship and now you want to be the side thing. Think about it...not safe. Someone is going to get hurt and it may very well be you Again. Sweetie let someone find you that wants you and only you and wants to love you and respect.
2006-10-19 03:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by tasgilla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to figure out whether or not your going to have a relationship together. If his partner finds out its gonna destroy her. You both don't need to hurt someone else. It does suck being in the middle like this. But if you guys are true friends. Then your friendship will only get stronger.
2006-10-19 03:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by lisa s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is call distant love which mean love will and has always be there. It call distant because always seem to be wrong time and wrong place in your life for love like this. The feelings will always be there and they will not go away. You need to talk to him and ask him what he wants and who does he wants. You do not want to be a home wrecker.
2006-10-19 02:56:55 · answer #5 · answered by Disha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love or infatuation?
Hands on or hands off?
This is a big decision, does in a relationship mean he is married?
If not, then he needs to make a decision.
You BOTH need to really, really do some soul searching.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-19 02:52:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Is this relationship of his a marriage. If it is, you need to back off. If not, it's up to him what to do. Do you love him, or do you love the way he loves you. Are you using him to get what your husband never gave you. Are you on the rebound? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. How genuine is this?
2006-10-19 02:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be together. ask him to come to you. or, you go to him. which ever one of you it owuld be easier for to move to another state. or, you could both move into a third state.
love overcomes things like that in an adult situation.
2006-10-19 02:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by my_name_is_what 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on one woman and I'd worry he'd cheat on me if I were to end up with him. Take it back to friends only and find someone else.
2006-10-19 02:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just tell him to break up with her so that you two can be together
2006-10-19 02:50:42 · answer #10 · answered by L00KiN F0R MR. RiGHT 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋