How do I date a woman after being gay for 20 years?

Question

this whole gay thing just ain't working out.........

Answer 1

Research has clearly shown that we do not choose to be or not be gay. You may be in the middle of the range and be bi-sexual. If so, you should have no trouble dating females.

Answer 2

Judging from your other question concerning a betrayal after 9 years, your impulse to date a woman sounds like a rebound effect or perhaps an attempt to show up the other fellow. Let things cool down a bit, then do a self-poll and make SURE whether you want to date a woman or if this impulse is just that--an impulse without proper thought behind it.

It'd be fine to date a woman in your situation, but be careful that you're not doing it as a reaction to being betrayed. That is not fair to you or to the woman in question. Make it casual, like a social engagement, until you're sure where your true sympathies and desires are.

Answer 3

After 20 years of being gay it's not going to.

Answer 4

It depends on what you self-identify as (either a bisexual or a homosexual man). Just because you have been totally with men for the last 20 years does not mean you are gay. You could be a bisexual with a preference for men.

Know what you are getting into with this woman -- also realize what you will be giving up if you decide to go the straight route again. For one thing, your gay friends will disappear and you will have to develop other friendships that includes straight people and couples.

Good luck now, buddy.

Answer 5

Same way you date a man. You communicate your interest, suggest a place you would like to take her, if she agrees, you pick her up at her place, or meet depending on the culture you live in and her preferences. You make small talk, you listen to what she has to say, decide if there is any chemistry, ask if she would like to do something again, and end the evening by taking her home, or departing after thanking her for her company. If its not been good, then shake her hand, if it has, kiss it. Call her the next day and thank her again, if you had a good time. Ask her out again. Go from there. Good luck.

You know women do this all the time. Many of us were involved with men all our lives, most of us married them and had families. Sometimes it takes growing older to really get to know yourself well enough to know what you want.

Answer 6

Check out www.exodus-international.org. They can help with that sort of thing.

I don't endorse their site, nor do I think that people especially gay men should deny who they truly are, but if you really think it's time to reform, they are the people to go to.

But don't think just because you start dating a woman that your homosexual tendencies will go away. Not only is it difficult to control feelings and thoughts, but after denying them for a while, you will find it difficult to control your actions too.

But good luck with the whole not being gay thing.

Answer 7

Being gay isn't something you just stop and start being. If you are having problems with your sexuality, then you should not bring an innocent person into the situation. That would be not nice. Try therapy instead.

Answer 8

Just start going out with women. Just the same as you did when you went out with men. Just remember, you should tell the woman that you are with about this. She has a right to know and if she finds out later from you or someone else, she will probably leave you for not being honest and open with her. You have to be honest in a relationship.

Answer 9

Tom you sound like a quitter.And no ones attracted to a quitter hang in there and show the world that the back bone you have is made of steel just like your tool and before you know it you'll be back in the game and in the sack.

Answer 10

How do you suddenly turn heterosexual after being gay for 20 years? Is this an experiment?