Why do people keep saying the baby isnt mine?

Question

My girlfriend went right off me soon after getting pregnant with MY baby, she dumped me and has now broken off all contact.

I was DEVASTATED and still havnt come close to getting over it

Why does EVERYONE I know tell me to get a peternety test when I become a father? Its really upsetting me.

It seems to be the first thing people say if they hear someone is in the situation, even people who have never met her and know nothing about her ask that.

Even people who have only just met me, its the first thing they ask.

It cant be because that is the most common reason for relationships to end during a pregnancy, or is it?

Oh, and we were only together five months and she split up because I didnt show I cared about the baby enough.

Answer 1

Try to ignore them when they say things like that - its no doubt said in a strange attempt to make you feel better about your girl doing what shes done. Sadly, pregnancy can do horrible things to a pregnant woman and your girl isn't the first or last to have dumped her man once pregnant. Exactly the same reaction happened when I was pregnant with my first baby - I changed completely towards the father, dumped him and on one occasion actually hit him - such was my hate for him, everything he did irritated me. I too broke all contact. However, once my daughter was born and my hormones settled I felt very differently. Sadly the father wasnt able to forgive and I eventually had to move on but things could have been different if we'd have understood. Nothing can ever be definite but wait a while and once baby is here try approaching her then. Good luck xx

Answer 2

I am so sorry about what has happenend you are clearly a man who cares and would make a wonderful dad.
Many women when they fall pregnant have many hormone changes and are in shock/cant cope/run away/panic so hopefully this is what has happenend to your girlfriend she is shocked and has paniced and ran.
The reason people are saying what they are to you is it is rare for it to happen (it does by the way) so therefor they immediatly think the worst not only of her but you its human nature.
People will think one of two things it is either not your child or she is a ***** and demand tests ect.
You are in a staight of shock and need to sit down and think about your next form of action. I would go to a free consultation at a solicitor to find out where you stand. You as the father have every right and so does your child to get to know one another and be part of each others lives do not let her stop that no matter what.
Try and talk to her if she will not answer calls/text then write a letter to her and ask to see her. Do not accuse her of anything or she will get angry but make it clear you want to be part of your childs life.
It is and has happenend that when women become pregnant they go off their partner.husband and act like this if it is the case she will come back to you.
I hope you can sort something out together.

Answer 3

Two reasons:

1. It's very unusual for a woman to dump the father of her unborn child so quickly - unless there was some form of abuse involved. This is normally the time a woman clings her to man and is terrified of him leaving her.

2. When the child is born you'll be paying a heck of a lot of money in maintanance for the next 18 years of your life. Considering you are no longer in a relationship with this woman, and she is behaving unusually, a couple of quid on a paternity test could save you a lot of money and emotional anguish.

It may well be your baby. She may be cutting you off because she's frightened, she may be cutting you off because she was going to dump you anyway and the pregnancy hasn't changed that. But in all honesty when a woman behaves like this it usually means the baby isn't yours.

Answer 4

You have rights as the father of the baby, just because she will not have contact with you doesn't mean you will never see your child again. Take further action, she should be gratefull you want to be apart of the childs life as many fathers dont when they find out their girlfriend is pregnant. Dont give up, this is not your childs fault & deserves a father in its life, even if the mother doesnt want that! I hope everything goes well for you, take care xxxx

Answer 5

because people are very cynical and only think about the financial side of it - ie will you have to pay for the baby?

or because they watch too much daytime tv. next time someone asks you that just tell them this isnt the jeremy kyle show.

Sorry to hear about whats happened - sounds like you're having a rough time. Maybe your girlfriend's hormones are just all over the place. Hope it all works out

Answer 6

Well I think she either used you for your sperm to get a baby to bring up on her own or she has done something behind your back and doesnt want you to get hert and in order to do this she has broken off contact from you.
Find out whats been going on because it will only cause you heartache in the future if the baby is yours and you dont ever see it. No one would end a relationship if they didnt have a perfectly good reason and I dont think hers was.
Confront her and sort it out - o' and good luck

Answer 7

it all the depends on why you split up if she left with another fella maybe people are questioning how long she was with him if your certain the baby is yours fight for your rights even if your girlfriend doesnt want to be with you any more your still have all the rights in the world to see your baby some relationships do break up as the baby can be hard work even though so loving i hope everything works out for you best of luck and dont give up

Answer 8

She may have just used you to get pregnant but i would get a paternity test and fight for your rights as a father to see and have regular contact with the child people are just concerned for you thats why every 1 is saying get 1 done good luck

Answer 9

I'm afraid it is when i got pregnant everybody kept telling my partner it wasn't his although i knew it was as i hadnt been with anyone else. Has she ever denied it being yours? If you want to be involved and she has broken contact you may need a paternity to prove your rights as a father but if you know its yours don't let them get you down try talking to her to find out why she broke up with. It maybe that she is scared I have to say having a baby is certainly the scariest thing I've evre been through.

Answer 10

Unfortuantely it is, most women want to share the experience of the baby growing in the womb with the father. It is very ackward that she is avoiding you at all means. You need to try and talk to her and find out wether it is your baby or not and if she is having doubts about who is the father she needs to tell you up front. It will be hard for you but you need to have a right to that child if it is yours