What do u think?

Question

ok a woman just left her spouse with a 2wk old infant. And never kept in contact with them. She never called to see how her baby was doing or anything.. The spouse is struggling to do all he can for the baby and caring for the baby and just being father and mother to the child. The woman is a LT police officer and refuse to take care of her responsibility of the baby... So the father; file for child support. The court ruled that the mother pay child support and make sure that the child is covered 100% medically. Now; the mother has NEVER bothered to call the father; NOW she calls right after court and says she wants a divorce and JOINT custody of the child who is now 3yrs old.. The father says he doesn't feel comfortable with that but is willing to compromise with visitations,but the mother refuses and says she is entitled to JOINT CUSTODY!!! And she states that she is prepared to fight him in court for the joint.. Do you think a JUDGE will grant her joint custody after abandonment?

Answer 1

The judge MOST LIKELY will state "what is in the best interest of any child is to have both parents if both parents are capable of being responsible" The judge will not look at the past action of abandonment. He/she will look at whether or not the mother has financial, emotional, and physical stability. IF the mother has the capability of being a parent, they will then grant visitation first. After a period of 3 months they will go into court again to review the visitations. IF all has gone well they will then grant visitations with weekend overnight stays. Again, after a few months it will go back into court and IF all is well, the mother will be granted joint custody.

Answer 2

I am a man and have gone through a similar situation. What I know is that joint custody is pretty much automatic unless one parent can be proven unfit or a danger to the child. The thing is "yes" she abandoned the baby, but if there was never abuse, I'm not sure she can be proven unfit. The other thing to think about here is that most of the time with joint custody, the primary care giver is seen as the primary custodial parent, so in a nutshell joint custody is just a title. He will still have overall say when it comes to the child, unless she wants to spend big bucks and fight a decision in court. Not sure if this is true in all states, just my experience.

Answer 3

Who's to say what a judge will think. After three years though I doubt seriously that the judge will allow joint custody. So, let her fight it out. Make sure the male half shows up with an attorney. Make sure this is handled through a lawyer. She may very well decide not to go to court, despite her stating she will. Sounds as though she's calling his bluff.
Just because she has paid child support all these years doesn't give her exclusive rights to custody.
Of course....why wasn't a divorce done as soon as "mom" walked off. They've been married for three years....had a kid...and all this time no divorce? Well....not only does the mother sound like trash...but the male half doesn't appear to be entirely too swift either.

Answer 4

In my state, courts automatically grant joint custody unless one parent can be proven to be unfit. In this case, mom may claim that she was never allowed to see the baby because of dad (whether it's true or not). The fact that she's been paying support and providing medical insurance will work in her favor as well.
I think the last thing kids need is to see one parent try to prove the other parent unfit. In most cases, it's just anger between adults, not truly that either parent is unfit. The child is the one who gets hurt most in this process.
Dad should call her bluff. Give her joint legal custody - he'll still have primary physical custody as long as baby lives with him. Which means his opinion counts more than hers in legal decisions. She's probably just trying to make him mad by wanting joint custody anyway. She'll probably just fade out of the picture over time anyway.
Or, the opposite could be true. Maybe she's ready to face her responsibility and wants to be a good mom to her child. Should the anger between the parents stop a mother-child relationship from forming? Probably not.

Answer 5

It's sad to say, but it is possible the court will award joint custody.
Here's my friends scenario.- His wife was addicted to drugs badly. She called his parents one day (he was at work) and told them to get the kids (9 months and 3 yrs at the time). She did her thing, never wanted to see the kids, went to prison for drug related charges for 1 yr, prostituted herself, had an abortion when she was 6 months pregnant, & ultimately moved to a state half way across the country. Fast forward to 7 yrs later. She's decided she wants to be a part of the kids lives again (hasn't seen or spoken to them for 7 yrs. kids are now 8 and 10 yrs old). The father refuses to let her see the kids on the premise that it would be traumatic for her to just show up out of the blue. Plus the fear she'll take off again. She gets lawyer to file for joint custody or visitation. She lives in another state. She's not awarded joint for obvious reason (in a different state) but she was allowed to take them for the entire summer to her home, unsupervised by anybody. She was a stranger to these kids and the courts allowed her to take them half way across the county without any supervision, even with her past history.
My advise - Get a good lawyer. He's in for the fight of his life!
The laws are always slanted towards the mothers, no matter what.

Answer 6

I would think that since he has already taken her to court for child support and based on what was brought before the court, I would surely hope that they wouldn't give the woman joint custody. I can't believe that some women can do such a thing and then demand ANYTHING! He should hire a damn good attorney and fight her with everything he's got!

Answer 7

no, if the judge does do that, then it would be completely unfair for the father. the only reason the woman wants joint custody is so she won't have to pay child support. the woman doesn't care about the child so why should she have custody of it?

Answer 8

Sorry to say, but a judge wil definitely rule in favour of the wife if there are no grounds to do otherwise. Only in cases where she is a danger to the child they wont alowed joined custody. Why don't the husband try to work out a plan with her. A child needs both its parents. If he does anything possible from his side to befriend his ex again, he might be surprised at her reaction.

Answer 9

ALL PEOPLE GET CONCERNED THAT SOMETHING THEY SEE IS RIGHTFULLY THEIRS BE TAKEN AWAY. SHE IS OBVIOSLY FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE. IF...SHE IS STABLE AND HAS NO UNDERLYING ISSUES ( I THINK SHE DOES) SUCH AS DEPRESSION,BIPOLAR ,DRUGS...ETC...THAN SHE IS ENTITLED TO VISITATION AND PARTIAL CUSTODY ...AT BEST. IF ANY OF THE AFFOREMENTIONED ARE AT PLAY AND THE FATHER HAS NONE. HE WILL WIN FULL CUSTODY.THIS AINT THE 70'S AND THE COURTS SEE 2 PEOPLE AND THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.MOTHER DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW BEST.

Answer 10

I think that, unfortunately, even these days, judges tend almost automatically to side with even bad mothers over good fathers. It makes me angry, too.