Well a family member of mine is having a long distance relationship and she travelled over to see her partner who she only got with 4 months previously while on holiday...
When I spoke to her over there she told me that she found a dirty txt on his phone not to her sent only the day before - when she confronted him he told her flat out that he sent it to this other girl and also told her that its not all he did - he said that he had phone sex with this girl because he was upset that they had a disagreement..
I told her he wasnt worth it..if he can do that while u are in the country what do u think he is capable of doing when you are away..
Well they are still together and he told her he wants to travel..she said she loves him but if it was someone else she would tell them to leave the person immediately
Is she seeing something i'm not??
2006-10-19 01:50:59 · 47 answers · asked by Brown_Sugar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Greetings to you and your "Family Member"........
You are correct in telling her that advise....
Her B/F is thinking with "value's" that help him believe he is practicing "acceptable behavior". His nature for fantasy play shows a more "willing" personality. It is a "weak" personality in that it will give in to temptation. He is a bio-chemical "hormone" surge mixed in with a large dose of "follow the pointer" I'm stupid.
She must be more careful not to "attract" men of such low substance. This is the greater lesson in all of it, don't you see..
It is nice to see the miracle of learning and healing in a persons life- In this case the realization that "our thoughts/value's" (what we imagine things to be) dictate our choices. Change "how" you believe/think/behave and change choices for a Happy Life.
2006-10-19 02:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only been with him for 4 months, its not exactly a long term relationship and the distance cant be helping things.
The problem is now this has happened it will cast doubt on everything else and will make her question him - especially if he goes travelling without her.
Perhaps the best advice is that, if he is going away, the agree to split up before he leaves and cut all ties, so if either of them meet someone else in the meantime, they are free to start over - they can leave the door open, as it were, so that when he returns, if they both missed each other and realised the others importance, they get back together again.
But I dont think its a good situation as things stand. And whether or not he has cheated or will cheat in the future, this will now stand between them.
2006-10-19 01:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Pington 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when young men or women travel overseas, they go with the idea that life is going to be every thing they see, hear,and partake in, that may be the case ,but, if the relationship at home is steady , it doesn't mean it will become stronger, their are age gaps when those overseas love affairs happen ,14-30, are very good years for love at first sight ,,,, 30-50 are good years for partenes to fall out of love,and then create an love affair with some on foreign lands , people from different countries look so beautiful and present themselves well that it's quite possible for emotional and physical atraction to take place ,it's like the saying, climb to the top of a hill and see if the grass is greener on the other side ? in most case's those same people who climb to the top will find the grass no greener,my advice ,weather the storm out , she will return , every one knows it's nice to return .
2006-10-19 02:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by lenihancornelius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody makes mistakes and some people deserve forgiveness when it's a one time thing. But he just doesn't sound like the type of guy who is remorseful for his actions. Does she think she can trust him again? Can she believe anything that comes out of his mouth? He has to be really sorry and do everything he can to win back that trust. If he isn't willing to do that, then he is much more focused on his own wants and needs when, if he truly loved her, he would be putting her first.
2006-10-19 02:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer if someone apologizes for doin wrong then at least forgive them and give them another chance..If he continues on doin things with this other woman though,,she really needs to see exactly why he wants her in his life..If she travels alot,for whatever reason,,he could be using her to travel since that is what he likes to do..At the same time though,if i was her,,i would keep an eye out and if he does again what he professed on doin then she needs to really realize there are better men in this world..God didnt say he wanted us to have to doubt someone we are with all the time..Trust has to be in a relationship and if she cant trust him then she really needs to move on and find a true man who wont do things to hurt her..I pray she finds her way before this man takes all he can from her...God bless you for caring for your friend so much..
2006-10-19 01:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by glowworm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Hunnie, clearly in her case love is blind, long distance relationships never really last and although it's good he was honest at the same time if he loved her or felt enough for her he would of held back and tried to sort it out with her. Besides, now the deed is done and she knows, nothing will be the same, there will be no trust and without that you have nothing.
2006-10-19 03:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by crazychicklisieloo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when things like this happen it always depens on the person...and how long they have been toghter. even if she loves him she has to understand what he did. She trusted him and he betraded her. he didn't even try to deny it becasue he didn't care he tried to justify it with the fact that they had a fight. That's what he is using as an exquse and she is letting him. He has no right to do that and what he did can not be replaced. what is he going to do the next time they have a fight? is he going to go cheat on her again? that's what she has to think about each and everyday. Have u ever hard of the expression "love is blind" that's what happens to a lot of girls they let thier boyfriends get away with things just because they love them. You have to talk with her .
2006-10-19 02:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by derrtyhazel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO she is not seeing something your not, ITS YOU seeing something SHE AINT SEEING. People are blinded by "love", as everyone just wants to feel loved, She is probably hanging on because she is scared to let go. She must let go though, she will start to feel so insecure about her relationship and jealous. Thats what happens when there is no trust in a relationship. And no matter how much she tells you she trusts him, deep down she dont. Without TRUST there is NO relationship, its just not worth it.
Make her know she is beautiful and she can av anyone she wants, this guy sounds like aright player.
goodluck. xx
2006-10-19 01:58:58 · answer #8 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard when you get cheated on i've had it done to me recently. if she really loves him it is hard to let go. i decided to give my bloke another chance as we have a 3 year old daughter and want to have a happy homelife but the question is always in the back of mind will he do it again. If they havn't been together long and he's already cheating then he's bound to do it again she should get rid and move on with her life and find who will love her and be faithful. But it has to be her decision the best thing you can do is just be there for her
2006-10-19 02:15:38 · answer #9 · answered by Caz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is sometimes blind. Your friend is blind right now. People don't get out of situations alot of times until the pain is unbearable. He hasn't hurt her enough. Unfortunately, until she makes the decision to drop him, she is setting herself up for a world of heartbreak. Then, and only then will she finally decide to drop him. Some people had rather endure the pain of the relationship they are in right now than to venture into the unknown and risk being lonely for a time.
2006-10-19 02:03:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋