You become more forgiving....
and I actually mean would you forgive your partner an affair?
2006-10-19 01:33:20 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Interesting
That some feel that this is a self-worth issue.
I find that as I've got older my self-esteem, and self worth (and any other self-inflicted values come to think of it) are higher now than they have ever been.
I'm much more tolerant of other's weaknesses because I've made stupid decisions for stupid reasons in the past and been well and truly hung for it. I know now that, as much as I would be hurt, how precious our loved ones are to us and how very difficult they are to replace.
I think that -as a one off- I could now probably forgive the unforgivable...I just don't think that I could handle a serial adulterer though
2006-10-19 19:13:24 · update #1
I would only forgive an affair based on the reasons it started to begin with. It would be a personal choice based on the situation. Why did it happen? What was he thinking? Why did it continue? Did it help him at all? What did he get out of it? Things like that.
2006-10-19 01:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness for Infidelity is Possible!
But would require the 2 parties involved to Work Flat-out to Over come the Hurt and Damaged Trust!
Counseling or Mediation would help!
If Both Parties had a Working faith (i.e Christians) That too would be a Good Foundation to Discover if there was a Future after such a Break-down in a Relationship!
ANYTHING is Possible if it is what You Deep-down Want,and Want to Hold on to!!
2006-10-19 01:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in a way you do. As you get older you start thinking more about why people would do things and not just automatically blame them.
I much preferred being 10! Not a care in the world!
I think if my partner had an affair, I would be thinking about the things I could have done wrong i.e. not given them enough attention, been difficult/shut off/isolated and wonder if I had driven them to do it.
If you can work things out after everything has happened, it makes you stronger and more appreciative of other peoples needs.
2006-10-19 01:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Vicky A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you get less forgiving and less tolerant. Or at least I have.
The list of things I will not put up with now at 31 is much much longer than it was when I was 21.
As for forgiving affairs.. I don't think affairs ever get forgiven. My wife didn't kick me out when I had one but I haven't been forgiven for it even 2 years later.
2006-10-19 01:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by Martin G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on personality, some people are stubborn even in their senior age, but in general by bigger sum of experience aka you've seen and experienced many things, people tend to forgive much more, and with years you realize that every day counts and every person you meet is unique teacher in your development, and there's also a need for some inner peace, that's why people get more religious as the years pass by, but putting that aside forgiveness of the affair depends on personality, we all have unique personality and in this area years don't make that much of a difference. Forgiving adultery depends on how much love we have for our partner and what that person means to us.
2006-10-19 01:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by Skillz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHOA!! Hang on a second. I've been going over some of the answers. They make it sound like when you begin to age, your pretty much worthless, one even commented that you lose self esteem or confidence. Well I am here to tell you that is not true.
I am 50 darlin' and have it going on. Any one at any age can be immoral, and have a lack of self confidence. I know women who take men back after they have beaten them, most of which are young. Anyway my answer is after being married for 20 years, if my husband cheated on me, he could hit the door...
2006-10-19 01:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by heresyhunter@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have forgive this misdeed, but it's relative to the situation too. I've forgiven Her after I instructed Her to leave. I want nothing to do with Her now, in the physical sense; nor do I offer her my affections beyond the cordial. Forgiveness to my mind need not be accepting the harm and going forward. Once a trust of this nature is violated You are faced with a proven cheat, to trust someone even after forgiving them isn't prudent; it is better to put Your faith in another more deserving Soul. Forgive everyone, but trust them no more; they burned You once; they'll burn You again; their nature is exposed.
2006-10-19 02:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally me no. I already have trust issues and I think that no matter how old I am I could not forgive an affair. I think that with age you let other things pass, like bad habits.
2006-10-19 01:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by elainecynthia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on who he had an affair with and for how long. I would find it more difficult if it was with someone younger, who may be considered "not bad looking." As well as a betrayal of trust it`s an ego thing and it would knock your self esteem more if it was with a younger "more successful, attractive" woman, who you though you couldn`t match up to.
2006-10-19 01:53:35 · answer #9 · answered by The BudMiester 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, generally speaking, I think it's just that we have had more time to make more mistakes, so we can understand a bit more easily how even the best intentions can go disastrously wrong.
But affairs, that would be a hard one. What a betrayal.
It happened once when I was young, eventually forgave him, but to be honest I was so hurt that in the end I was just so glad to see him go.
2006-10-19 01:40:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋