I have been knowing this guy for a few months. I met him at work and we would have lunch and stuff together everyday and text and call back and forth. He calls me and I call him. Well he got laid-off and I broke up with my boyfriend the same day, so we had sex that night. We talk or text often and he seems like he likes me. We have had sex quite a few times since then, but he's also spent the night and not had sex with me on several occasions. He sometimes says things that makes me think that he is interested in a relationship, but I don't know. I am new to this whole single thing and I don't want to just come out and ask him too soon and push him away. How could I tell him that I don't want to just have sex with him without making it seem like I am giving him an altimatum? Does he really like me?
2006-10-19 01:31:27 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He is just using you for sex. Stop giving it to him and see if he if he truly cares for you. If he cannot respect your decision not to have sex, he is definitely using you and you need to move on and find someone that will look at you for you and not just sex.
2006-10-19 02:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any normal guy is a horndog and sex is as important as food. If you have other common interests that will help to take the edge off, otherwise it will eventually turn to bickering and fighting. What you might have is a relationship of convenience, and that will become apparent after a short time. When that happens you will tire of each other, but he will still want sex, so you kind of have to gauge it and watch where it goes. It's not that you don't want to just have sex with him, you want other things too and if he does not feel the same way it is going to get a tad boring after a while.
2006-10-19 01:38:38 · answer #2 · answered by Kokopelli 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with the others. You've known him for monthss and you hung out with him without any sexual overtures before you broke up with your boyfriend. I think the sex that night was rebound sex, and you probably should have held off, but...whatever. You've had sex with him, but it sounds to me like that's not the only reason he's with you, if he's coming over and spending the night without sex too (and not just on your period, right?).
Still, if you feel things are moving too fast, tell him that you'd still like to see him, but you need to slow down on the physical stuff for a while and that you're not dumping him. If he really likes you, he'll understand and be patient. Just don't leave him hanging forever, because that's really not fair to him if a relationship is what he wants.
2006-10-19 01:37:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell you you can wait to decide if you need space and time to read you options do it
you are not obligated to be with him
if you think it is just sex say you want to slow down and not do it for a while and send time together and see how it goes if it gtes tense and uneassy then it was maybe just sex since you were single and he was waiting for it or it may be good and grows closer
you ared the choice taker do not let him feel like you only have one choice and this is it
if he is respectful and open to your thoughts then he is worth trying to see if it works if not i am sorry losers happen to many people
but not all of them are its okay to have more options or male friends to talk to about this
2006-10-19 04:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup.. its the sex. If you need reassurance, offer to go out with him again but this time dont give him the sex & dont let any actvities lead you to the bedroom or anywhere where you could have sex. Dont even be sexy on that occasion & dont flirt. Then ask him the next day if he wants to do that again some time & see his reaction. If he realises by now that the chances of not having sex is good, he will make excuses & back out if he really only wants sex...
2006-10-19 01:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he's seeing free no strings sex from you, which is what you've given him for the past howeverlong. If you dont want to be single, you're gonna have to find out where you stand, then give him the ultimatum, and if he doesnt like it you find another bf.
2006-10-19 01:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by rand a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Test him and refuse to have sex with him few times. Ask whether he is serious about the relaionship then in to marriage. Guys many times cheat for self pleasure, hope the same isnot with you
alex_00in@yahoo.co.in
2006-10-19 01:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to simply talk with him and ask where he thinks your relatinship is heading. ask what he is looking for, what his short term and longterm goals and desires are. ask lots of questions and show interest. dont try to mold his thoughts or responses to what you want to hear, just keep probing with interest to learn more about him. then you will be able to better compare your personalities and goals and have a clearer understanding of how this person may or may not fit into your personal goals and life style.
2006-10-19 01:41:32 · answer #8 · answered by barn cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I 'd say yes. Normally men don't spend that much time with a woman unless there are feelings involved. You said it yourself he spent the night with you & no sex was involved. Yes he likes you and I would take it to the next level.
2006-10-19 01:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
what really your doing is being a booty call so when hes down and you both just want sex thats how you make him think really if you don't like it tell him there and if he dosn't want to date then he was using you and if he tells you that he just wants to stay really good friends and still be close don't fall for it cause thats still signaling that he wants a booty call
2006-10-19 01:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by pumpkin amy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋