She went out with some friends and came home at 3:30 in the morning. She said she ran into a guy she used to go to school with and went over to his house for awhile. She said she was trying to hook him up with her sister. She came home and actually told me about that without holding anything back. A couple weeks down the road things feel weird between us so I wonder if she's been cheating and check her phone to see who she's been calling. I see a number and a name on there that I didn't recognize so I confronted her about it. She got mad at me for looking in her phone and I got mad at her for not being honest and omitting him from her "Who have you talked to lately?" List that I had asked her multiple times. Things haven't been wonderful in the marriage lately anyways, but should I be upset about her not mentioning this guy or not?
2006-10-19 01:22:41 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like she's looking for an exit ramp..
there are reasons to end a relationship, but no reason to cheat
if that's how she plans to work on problems you deserve better than this
2006-10-19 02:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husbands and wives should be open and honest about every single aspect of their lives together. If additional sex partners or alternative sex is desired by one it should be discussed openly and honestly with the other. Married couple who can't be 100% open and honest with one another 100% of the time are not a very good match at all. And chances are sister doesn't want something older sister once had - come on!
Sound pretty good that she's enjoying some side treats. You better brush up on your techniques and stop taking "marriage" for granted. Either that, or join in with her and make it a real party.
2006-10-19 08:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by mellow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not be worried, but dag on MAD, THAT IS TOTALLY DISHONEST AND SHE IS BEING SNEEKY. She is upset at the wrong thing..she should be upset that you dont trust her not going through her phone. A lying confession is what she gave you, to try and avoid being found out. You should definately demand a more complete explination and if she is defensive then you know she is holding back...Then never bring it up again, and begin to live your life for you, she will notice your not involving her and begin to wonder why, then if she ask (she will) no woman likes to be ignored, you just say well you know honney, I love you, but you have pushed me away and I dont agree with the way you choose to handle some things...so in order for me to trust you is not to worry about you at all....That will get her! she is going to look at you all bugged eyed though. Then you continue to do what you were doing and when she realizes she is wrong she will come to you correctly IF SHE VALUES THE MARRIAGE
2006-10-19 08:34:51 · answer #3 · answered by CeKaye L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be upset for one thing she shouldnt be out until 3:30 in the morning ecspecially getting some random guys number. Your gut instinct is usually always right so if you felt that things are weird between you guys then yeah you should be worried. If she didnt have anything to hide she wouldnt have gotten mad when you looked through her phone. Hire a private investigator to follow her for a week.
2006-10-19 08:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is cheating on you...is this man really a old time school mate or was it something made up for her convenience? it was great that she came home and was so open and honest about him but come on out till 3:30 in the morning when she should be home with you???
Marriage is about trust and love...remember if love and trust goes hand in hand..if you dont have trust how can you love them and if you dont have love then how can you trust them? the fact that she got upset about having you check her phone is enough reason for me to believe that she is cheating on you with this man. without saying anything to her watch what time she comes home..has her schedule changed? is she coming home later then normal...are her lunches getting longer, is she wearing new clothes...does she make love to you differently? these are all signs of someone cheating.
2006-10-19 08:34:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be worried because thats how it can all start with cheating and you need to sit her down and talk MORE and tell her how it hurts you and if she still gets mad just say in a nice tone that you will go stay with a friend, or family, or she can because you really cant put up with this and see what happens from there if it gose down hill shes not for you if it stays the same change it and if it gets really good then you know she wont leave you because my sister is goin threw the same thing and i want them to break up because she so dumb to see whats goin on in front of her. really do what you think is the best thing and GOOD LUCK
2006-10-19 08:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by pumpkin amy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing she did mention him to you when she told you that she had met up with him at the bar and was going to try and fix him up with her sister. I think that you should ask her sense she would like to fix her sister up with him if she would want to invite him & her sister over for dinner and let the two of them meet and see if they might hit it off. This way not only will you see if she is being truthful to you about him, you will also see if there is a contact between this man & your wife. And also if she turns down the idea of having a dinner for her sister to meet this man, that will also let you know if there is something fishy going on between them.
Good Luck!
2006-10-19 09:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She masked her activities by saying she tried to hook him up with someone else.
The truth is she already slept with him.
Even if she didn't then she is encouraging him to contact her. Did she give his name and number to her sister? Then why don't you?
There aren't secrets between a husband and wife. I wouldn't care if my husband looked at my long list of phone numbers and called everyone. I don't have anything to hide.
She needs to cease all communications with another man who isn't a mutual friend.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. You are justified in your suspicions. On the slim chance she didn't sleep with him already then she is about to.
2006-10-19 08:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by kane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, yes. She has no reason to be calling guys you don't know unless she in thinking of an affair. Women in solid marriages don't look around, and come up with stupid stories. They also aren't out until 3:00am and haven't called. Yup, you have every right to be smoked, big time.
2006-10-19 08:31:14 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you be upset, yes. Does it mean she's cheating, no, but it's a red flag. Have an honest talk with your wife and find out why she wants to behave as though she is a single woman.
2006-10-19 08:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by life made better thru chemistry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋