How does having a child increase love, commitment or does it add stress?

Question

What the feelings about other parent in times of difficulty?

Answer 1

Well naturally having a child is going to add some measure of stress to one's lifetime. I can't say that it increases love and commitment. there was a time...and probably still today...when couples who were having marital problems would purposely have a child to "strengthen the marriage and bring us closer together". If ever there was a reason for NOT becoming pregnant that was it. Can you imagine? How selfish! You and the wife can't get along on any point so you figure bringing a third person into this world will make it better? Jesus...just get a dog. At least they don't require early morning feedings, diaper changings, new school clothes, run the risk of doing drugs, getting killed in auto wrecks with their friends or any other misfortune that parents have suffered over the centuries.
In additon, nothing disguts me more than seeing husband and wife going through a divorce and NOW...NOW the kid(s) become an issue. To all those parents who really gave a sh*t about their kids until you can use them as a tool against your spouse.....well...you're all trash and should have been neutered or spayed a long time ago.
So yeah.....you see? Kids can add stress. They can also be a joy. Especially if they grow up as good and productive members of society instead of drug addicts, thieves, winos or rap/hip-hop artists with gold caps on their teeth.
If you are going to have children because you love one another and have every intention of raising them properly and it DOES increase the bonds of your relationship...great...go to it. However if you are having problems in your marriage already and think that part of the solution will be to have a kid.....don't.

Answer 2

You gotta be kidding, but at least you're asking. Children are divisive, they do not bond. The stress of raising children changes the relationship forever, That's again, FOREVER. It costs $250,000 to raise a kid to age 18, and more if the kid has skills, and you wish that child to have private tutoring in, say, music, art, ballet, etc. For the next 18 years, your marriage is sidetracked. Tho the world population is increasing, it is mainly in India, China, (more than half the world population is Chinese or Indian... the US is about 12%) and other third world countries where birth control is not easily available. Italy, for example is having so few children that they are not even replacing their population. The US population is increasing mainly from Mexican and foreign immigration --- some legal, some not (having lots of kids in Mexican culture is considered a good thing, nothing to do with Catholic influence). Any time in a third world country where birth control is available, women take advantage of it, get more education, have fewer children and join the work force. Gotta be something about not having kids when given a choice, huh????

In usual situation, the male sticks around for about 4 years, then leaves, whether it is in a marriage, or just living together. Night feedings, colic, screaming kids, demands on one's time, pressures of the kid not doing well in school, puberty, yadayadayada, are just not worth it to most couples who in this day and age,live in an urban society, want a second car, a second house, time to travel, nicer clothes, bigger parties, and other goodies that this life has to offer. Raising children just isn't worth the trade-off since all of us see how few of those kids really turn out according to what we think they should.

Answer your question?

Answer 3

A child is the biggest joy in the world, but yes it does add some stress to a marriage. The benefits of having the child outweigh all of the difficulties that you will experience. To have a child look into your eyes and you know in your heart that it is the deepest love you will ever feel, it makes the stress and difficult times seem trivial.

Answer 4

Having a child should be considered a blessing as well it shows the world of the love between it's parents. Stress comes from the world and outside sources and inner turmoils. You can not keep yourself or that child from it. Marriage makes sense for a family to have a base to stand on. Do not have children for the wrong reasons and make them suffer the actions later.

Answer 5

A child is never glue to hold a relationship together and should never be brought into the world for that intention. If the relationship is bad to start with having a baby will only make matters worse. A child might temporarily provide a focus for a couple who don't get on, but sooner or later a rocky relationship will reach breaking point and that is a horrible thing for all concerned. A child should only be borught into the world by a couple who are rock solid in themselves and with eachother. No child should hold the responsilbity for holding their parents marriage together, it is harmful to them and very wrong.

Answer 6

it increases love when you look at it and think we are blessed to have put an innocent human on earth and to know its a product produced by the two of you, you feel committed coz of the things you will be able to achieve together for the young one.It adds to stress when its crying for no reason and keeping you awake at night.

Answer 7

Depends on the people. For some a child will bring them closer together, or for people like me, a child will drive a wedge between you. Oh well, I'd rather be a single parent like I have been for 10 years now than be married to the 'sperm donor' (that's his nickname from my kids / me) of my kids.

Answer 8

It doesn't help one bit. If a marriage is rocky in the beginning, having a baby wont help. In fact, it could complicate things. Be smart and don't start a family while in a difficult relationship.

Remember, the baby is the one who will suffer in the long run.

Answer 9

See i would recommend to have love and respect before producing kids .Simple for kids you can adjust your feelings for temporary basis , your real nature would be same.This nature would be reflected by igniting little spark which would again affect life of kids.
So have faith in your self and respect each other God Bless You

Answer 10

I agree with bigmike