i married my wife in 2004, under some strange circumstances, i have never feel like i really love her, but i know she loves me with all her heart. i work hard and give her everything she needs except i don't love her the way its suppose to. sometimes i consider divorce but i really have this love for my step daughter, she is 7 and i love her with no doubt like she is my biological child, she is the reason why i have not tell my wife i dont' love. my step child is such an amazing child and i promised her i always be there for her. i had an affair once, and i don't want to do that and hurt her again. My wife is such a wonderful person. but its just i don't love her. i do care a lot about her. Because of that sometimes i pretend am happy just to make her happy. we don't have any kid together and we have been together for 4 years. i don't know if i will ever love her the way i'm supposed to. Should let her know how i feel and divorce her? she's 25 and i'm 29 and her 2nd marriage n my 1st
2006-10-19 00:49:01 · 20 answers · asked by killuminati 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, this is a hard one... Yes, I think you should tell her.. You are gonna look back on your life someday and resent her so much. You are a person too and should not sacrifice your life for someone else..You deserve to be happy too... If she is as wonderful as you say she will let you still visit with your step daughter.. I know this is gonna be really hard for you to do but like I said don't go through life not knowing true love or true happiness. You deserve that, everyone does. Its not fair to her either. She deserves someone who truly loves her . GOOD LUCK
2006-10-19 00:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Love is a feeling. Marriage is a commitment. A contract saying you'll do what ever it takes to keep the world off each other. Your still young. If you think of cheating then yes tell her,If not keep it to your self it will only hurt her. Be a man go to Church to get help. Good women are hard to find and your right if the kid loves you she needs you. As you get older you will find love grows with actions not feelings.
2006-10-19 08:06:07 · answer #2 · answered by Dann R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame that you promised a life of happiness to someone you don't love and in the process are making yourself miserable. In one way I can say that was noble of you, in another that was a dumb mistake on your part, especially since you promised to always be there for your step-child who in turn will also get hurt.
It's best to be honest with yourself first though. I understand you made promises that I'm sure in the end you will not be able to keep, no matter how hard you may try. But if there is no love there and you cannot make yourself fall in love, then unfortunately I'd say it's a hopeless cause. Unless you are willing to sacrifice your total happiness for your wife, then I'd say it's time to be honest, but when you are honest with her, be already prepared to leave the home. It'd be unfair to her and to her child to stay there after you drop this information in her lap.
2006-10-19 08:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok, let me get this straight -marriage is serious. You're messing with someone's life. You married her knowing you didn't really love her or under some other "strange circumstances" now you don't want her??? . . and she's a wonderful person. That's pretty cruddy. And you know what you 're going to find when you jump out there. .good women are hard to find buddy.
2006-10-19 08:55:51 · answer #4 · answered by Cris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep up the affairs, Divorce is the most expensive thing that you can ever do. And hey, who really wants to have a "Dry Spell" if you catch my drift. You will eventually get used to her, you are just going through a time when you need a little something extra, go find it and be over with it.
2006-10-19 07:55:28 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to come clean, or you both will get hurt. Just because you get divorced doesn't necessarily mean you can't still be there for your step daughter. You both deserve to be happy. But to be honest you shouldn't have married her if you didn't love her to begin with. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Hope all works out well.
2006-10-19 08:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u know i am not in a position to answer this question as my hubby is also in a state of dilemma about his love for me but u sound highly concerned about this problem.I am very unlucky in this matter. he is not bothered.I feel u should tell her in a way that she doesnot feel shattered.In a way u are helping her .after divorce she may find true love n be happy.Yes certainly she is heading for a tough time as she loves u very much but she aso needs to be loved.A HUG NEEDS A HUG BACK A KISS NEEDS A KISS BACK. ALL THE BEST..
2006-10-19 08:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by chubby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight. Married in 04 to a woman you never loved in the first place. Have cheated on her and you continue to let her love you unconditionally. Please do not stay for the kids that never works. You can still be there for the child and not be married to her mother if she lets you. Seems you need to get your act together.
2006-10-19 09:10:03 · answer #8 · answered by ktar0420 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
shame on you,if you don't love her than tell her so she can go find someone that does love her.your never going to love anyone the way your suppose to, its all in your thought process. is there another person in your life, that would explain why you don't think you love your wife anymore. love is a decision we make, not a feeling. your just a coward who can't stick to your marriage, or theres someone else in your marriage and you'd rather be with them instead.
2006-10-19 07:59:52 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
before you say any thing to your wife ,take a deep breath think critically,what has made you out love your wife?try all you can to love her ,ask her to do what you expect from her that she is not doing ,be frank,then if all hope is lost then you have no option but to break the sad news t your wife .but make sure you attach some respect as she really loves you
2006-10-19 08:23:16 · answer #10 · answered by she2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋