Okay first let me start by saying I do trust My boyfriend & I will untill he gives me a reason not to, but heres the thing, he has this ex right....well she calls all the time whitch is not a problem infact I told him to be nice & talk to her because he is 20 she is 17 & they were together for three years so I figure she is a young lady who may need someone to talk to & obviously feels comfortable around him & I have been there before well she threatens to kick my *** & all that for nothing just being a kid & wanting a little drama well thats fine too, but then she asks him all these questons like, does she live with you, witch I dont but he tells her this like it's her buisness & he has to explain himself to her that question among others that I wont mention well the way he explains things to her about us like he has too is annoying also sometimes he'll be talking to her & then ask baby is it okay if I go in the bedroom & talk to her alone for a while..so ofcourse I'm like yeah..but it kills me inside.... this is a big problem to me but I don't know how to tell him without sounding jeoulous or bossy please help!!!!!!!!
2006-10-18 21:46:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, it's highly inappropriate for him to talk to his ex in this manner (hiding in the room whilst speaking to her on the phone), unless they are very good friends and you know for a fact that their relationship is strictly platonic. But even then, if they are just good friends, he should have NO reason to sneak off whilst talking to her on the phone. He should be able to say anything to her with you in the room.
It sounds like he's still emotionally attached to her and does not want to cut off all contact with her. It's fine to hang out in a large group, etc, but sneaking off to chat on the phone while you're there...it's just wrong.
Sit him down and tell him everything you've just said right here. Tell him you don't want to come across as some bossy, insecure girlfriend, but that his actions are driving you in this direction. Secondly, tell him that you don't appreciate it when he does sneak off to talk to her, because YOU'RE his girlfriend and that it makes you feel bad/insecure/sad when he does this. Don't accuse him of anything, don't get emotional or frustrated. Be as serious as you can be about it and speak with an even voice. Don't cry or sniffle, as it may prompt him to say anything to stop you from crying or getting upset. You want his honesty, not sympathy!
2006-10-18 22:04:35 · answer #1 · answered by olliebee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your boyfriend straight up what is going on. If he still has feelings for this girl you may need to re-think your relationship. From the sound of things it seems something is going on, either she, or both of them, are having a difficult time letting go. I know that if my boyfriend talked to his ex all of the time I would not feel very good about it. And if she really is threatening you it amazes me that your boyfriend would still speak to her. Decide if the drama is something you are willing to deal with to have a relationship with this man, and if it is come to an agreement regarding the ex and her phone calls.
2006-10-19 04:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Gia M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being really nice to let this all go on, but they're taking it too far. She obviously trying to hold on to him, and he hasn't let the relationship completely go. Don't leave the room for their conversations, he should have nothing to hide. He's letting her cut into you guys quality time, and that's unfair and disrespectful to you.
2006-10-19 04:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but what she needs and wants is not Ur problem!!! and you have all the right to be jealous! and what does he have to say to her that he cant say in front of you??? that spells trouble! tell him how you feel and ask him to put himself in your shoes for a min and if he would be happy if it was you doing it! don't feel bad, any other girl would feel the same way... we're just trying to protect whats ours!
2006-10-19 05:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up.. either he is with you or her. She is young enough to get over him but he has to let her go first. If he's gonna be a man, he takes care of his own. She is no longer his.
2006-10-19 04:52:11 · answer #5 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him in the same way that you just told us its not jealouse but its that you are conserned i can talk on the phone about any thing in front of my girl if he can't then he is saying something wrong and you do need to talk to him about it and see what he says ask him if he still loves her just do what your heart says
2006-10-19 04:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, "When it's over, it's over". It needs to stop.
I would have ended that real quick. He's not her
crutch.
2006-10-19 05:14:22 · answer #7 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ask him, how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. would he put up with it.
2006-10-19 04:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by Cobra 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in that case i think it is wise to be little jealous.
2006-10-19 04:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by Kalooka 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋