I met a man month back. Somehow, we both started talking daily on phone. I was ill and he brought some foreign medicines for me which i cant find out anywhere in my country. I am feeling better with all his medicines, talks and support. I think, i have started liking him. He says he too likes me. But he has someone in his past, a very very beautiful lady who got married and have kids now. He subconsciously always compares me with her and i feel too low before her bse i am not that preety. He says he would like to spend his life with me but he is not able to come out of his past. Everyday he shares some of his experiences that he had with her and i just calmly listen to it but it hurts me a lot. Bse i want to share our talks & our relationships. But now a days he is expecting physical relationship with me & i m not ready for that. I am afraid if i wont allow him to do so he might leave me....!!! I dont know what to do.....!!!!!
2006-10-18 20:23:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It sounds like he's not over this other woman. You should talk to him about how you feel when he talks about her. If he's doing the comparing subconsciously as you say, then he might not realize what he is doing.
It might be just that he's an open person. Perhaps you can talk to him about your past relationships. I don't mean to do that to show him how it feels, but ask him about it first. If he minds, then he should understand why you don't like hearing about this other woman.
As for starting a physical relationship, you need to tell him you aren't ready. He's got a good man if he leaves you over that. You've only known each other for a month. If he cares about you, he wouldn't want you to be forcing yourself to go further with him.
2006-10-18 20:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously IN a relationship with him. Now you need to define the terms. Does he know it bothers you for him to talk about this other? If he wants to be with you, tell him that it invalidates you to compare you with this other person. If he TRULY cares and wants you for a lifetime, he will understand and stop. If not, maybe he just wants the physical part of you and all the rest is bullsh**. Find out BEFORE you get physical.
2006-10-18 20:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jim R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, he has to GET OVER his past. Don't jump into that kind of relationship, you'll end up being the "rebounder". Besides, it won't work if he keeps on comparing you to his past girl. And it wouldn't be fair on your part. Oh, come on, you're different! Why can't he see you for what and who you are? Everyone is unique.
Girl, use not only your heart but also your mind in this matter. Good luck! (",)
2006-10-18 21:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by Emz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went by way of some thing like this yet my woman left me interior the midst of our 3 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous courting and that i had to come back to a determination if i needed to be her pal or purely enable her be with a guy i understand could no longer make her happy. i presumed approximately this for a sturdy 6 months and If i'm straightforward i think of attempting to hold onto her might have killed our courting. because of the fact i presumed purely such as you , what if this different dude became greater advantageous than me in some way and the actuality he is going to her church did no longer make tings much less complicated. so now I truthfully have a tricky time trusting and loving her, she became an stunning woman as quickly as we first met and that i presumed she became suitable yet i do no longer have confidence her anymore and on appropriate of that i've got self belief like an fool for containing directly to somebody who became already taken. I felt like i became her backup plan whilst she became my woman and a few intruder took her from me. it sucks to be straightforward. so in case you prefer her I say decrease back off and if she needs you she can supply him up for you . if no longer then she wasn't what you mandatory besides and all you will do by ability of waiting to work out in case you 2 might properly be at the same time is weaken your very own vanity and make nay destiny courting you have tricky to have self belief in.
2016-10-02 11:03:39 · answer #4 · answered by bungay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd lose him. Some creep who lived on the streets and can't hold down a job bothers my friend at work all the time. He kept looking at her. He kept bugging her all the time and was adamant. He fathered a child that he hasn't seen in sixteen years. He never shaves nor showers. He doesn't brush his teeth and moans about his mother and his ex-wife who charged him with assault causing bodily harm. Under Canadian law, that is a serious form of assault, worse than domestic assault or common assault. Our supervisor recommended him to her and she hadn't even thought about it. She likes the cook next door where she works also. He is a nice guy, shy, funny and sweet and he is a musician.
What I mean to say and my husband, Cot, agrees with this: If you are good enough to avoid these relationships, you are good enough to leave them. Do not take responsibility for someone else. They must deal with their life and you must deal with yours. Okay, it's your friend and not you, but tell her I told you abou this.
2006-10-18 20:29:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's got you were he want's you.. not only will he have his wife but; can get some with you on the side. Don't care about you or his wife; if he did, he would be waiting til things were over with his wife and free of the emotions with her before starting things with you.. go on to better things; your getting lost in the heat of things and it will not be nice. To prove my point, tell him you must brake things off til he resolves the relationship with his wife. Bet, he will say he's working on it. EVERYDAY, FOREVER AND EVER. got the idea?
2006-10-18 20:36:39 · answer #6 · answered by denfasr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eih think you would'nt like to be with a guy that will hurt you consciously or unconsciously 24 hours..maybe he likes you but he's not into you to try to forget his past..you better talk to him what's your place in his heart and he need to decide whether he will continue to live in his past or move on...and tell him how you feel everytime he talks about his very pretty girlfriend...and if he wants some physical contact with you tell him that you're not comfortable and if he insist and doesn't respect you then you better dump him..he doesn't deserve you...
2006-10-18 20:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by queen_maan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i wouldnt step into that relationship. it seems that he hasnt got over the gal, who is very much still in his heart. i don't know if time can heal his wound just like what everybody thinks. i wont take the risk. i'm sure there will be other guyz that are worth going for. cheer up.
2006-10-18 20:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by Princess is here 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think without hinting this man, you should try talking with his earlier wife. that will help you knowing this person better, only if its feasible. take care that ur relation is not affected.
maybe, he plays the same with other beautiful galz, u never know.
so, first, find his real past n then move ahead!
all the best!
2006-10-18 21:44:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well talk to him and tell him that if he still love his ex then there's no way u should continue having a relationship with him coz he's just fooling not only u but also his self..maybe when your out of his life, he will realize that he already love you..Goodluck
2006-10-18 20:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by ettienne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋