what do you think of my simple poem which i wrote a week ago?
honesty was expected
when the problem has over com you
don't hide honesty from no one
because it helps a lot.
With honesty, people will
believe you and trust you
for being honest and didn't
be a liar.
Next time be honest and
speak the truth and not the
lie because this time you
will not be forgiven for speaking
fake thing.(lies)
By Vanessa Robertson (me)
2006-10-18 19:22:46 · 13 answers · asked by Joelle 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
The other one was better!
2006-10-19 21:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by ¤Forever¤ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very nice and i like the way you made a poem about honesty
but u need to correct some errors
like
fake things
for being honest and not a lier
overcome
2006-10-18 19:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? ? ? bloody_angel ??? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely awesome!!! I'm serious, there's a great message in there. People need to hear more of your words! Check out www.poetry.com. You can submit your poems onto their website for free. Other poets (like me) read them. They have a contest you can enter also. Hope to be reading more of your words in the future. Stay with it, you're good. Good luck to you!
2006-10-18 19:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by flip4it 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so true - to know that at your age (I assume you are still at school) will give you a great platform for enjoyment of your life. One small thing though - there are some grammatical errors in there, but they don't spoil the sentiment. Good luck to you.
2006-10-18 19:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by Rex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, i understand what this poem says but you might can improve it better if you write in a dramatic and in a rhythm way.
2006-10-18 19:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by Kay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its nice but it needs a bit more work on it.Try and make it more dramatic.I'm a writer, so believe me...
2006-10-18 19:28:48 · answer #6 · answered by {♥FiRa♥} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest,you have a little mistake on the second line, but its good
2006-10-18 19:24:57 · answer #7 · answered by ##$SoulStryker$## 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be rude or anything, but i hate poems, it remindes of shakespear and my english teacher that i hate
2006-10-18 19:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by CAMELS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have alot of talent,but you also sound like you have been hurt.
2006-10-18 19:25:49 · answer #9 · answered by Celebrity girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice...just check some spellings
2006-10-18 19:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by Saltbreaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋