...meaning, everytime i get real sick or hurt, he doesnt care. He tells me im a wimp and to walk it off. He'll actually yell at me if i ever complain that im in pain. Hes wonderful in every other way almost, but for some reason, hes weird about that. He was raised without any love, so mabie thats why?? What can i say to him?
2006-10-18 18:28:50 · 17 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you....make someone soft.......hmmmm.....impossible!
LOL
j/k that one was too easy
Not sure what you can do to make him believe you when you tell him you are in pain.
2006-10-18 19:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him that you know he was raised without love, but that he is loved, every day, by you, and that the desert of lovelessness has been crossed. You don't have to say you love him every day, but you should touch him with loving affection each day. Never go to bed with unresolved anger toward him -- and don't let him do that to you.
Don't repay the favor by ignoring him if he's in pain or not seeing him if he is hospitalized!
When he realizes that the concentration camp of being unloved is over with, then, but only then, can you make him unstand that feeling pain is not the same as being weak.
You husband is hard because it was a NECESSARY habit, for a long time, to act that way to protect himself.
2006-10-19 01:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I know what you mean as I am a bit this way myself. I really have no tolerance for the whining. If I hear someone I think well don't moan - do something about it. I can not handle people wanting sympathy. Do you get sick or hurt often? If he is great in every other way you are doing well - it is just one of those personality things.
2006-10-19 01:34:41 · answer #3 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might take time to think about just how much he loves you ,,,, If he loved you at all then he would try to cater to you as much as he could ,,,,,, Do you have any children ,,,, if so ,,,,, does he do the same thing to them ,,,,,What does he expect from you when he's sick ? ,,,, At any rate the guy needs an attitude adjustment ,,,,,, this sort of behavior could eventually lead to separation or even divorce ,,,,, They say marriage is a give and take situation ,,,,, 50/50 ,,,,, but two people that really love each other do the same thing only at a ratio of 80/80 or more,,,,,,, think about it ,,,,,,
2006-10-19 01:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this lovelessness story is a lot of crap. I know 5 people who were raised in an environment where the mother never hugged, kissed on told them she loved them...she wanted them out of the house most of the time as well. The all have wonderful, loving families of their own and are grateful for it. so that story doesn't wash with me.
2006-10-19 02:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to back off with the sarcasm and get with the program . If he doesn't get the message wait until you feel better and have a talk with him . Tell him you NEED to have extra care when you are sick , even if it is just asking what he can get for you or a little hug . Tell him ASAP and then remind him when he forgets !
2006-10-19 01:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi - If he's wonderful in every other way then maybe you just have to take a pass on this one. You can talk to him about it and make sure he understands but that might just be the way he is until HE decides to change.
Sorry bout that,
A
2006-10-19 01:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by Alan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you said enough
he was raised with any love
probably - when he was sick (that's how he got treated)
and so , he is giving you the same 'treatment'
but the question is
do you really want to make him more soft
'than' try not getting sick.
2006-10-19 02:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by Martin T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to change him will only make it worse..i am the same way he is it is a part of his personality you accepted it when you began a realationship, if i knew how to change it i would ive ruined to many realationships with it i guarantee you its not intentionaly to hurt you
2006-10-19 01:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by The Mastodon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell him it hurts your feelings when he treats you that way. Aside from that, there really isn't much else you can do.
2006-10-19 01:30:27 · answer #10 · answered by Whatev' Yo' 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not a light bulb. You can't change him! Sounds like you made a bad choice.
2006-10-19 01:31:19 · answer #11 · answered by Frankie P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋